Her Hearts Winter Thaw
by Dragonessclaw
Summary: When Kagome lost Inuyasha her world ended and her heart went into a deep freeze.  Years later a familiar face makes her re-think things. Maybe there's happiness for her after all with the one that has secretly loved her from a far all along.
1. Chapter 1

**Her Heart's Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Hey guys I'm back. This new story will be a little more drawn out as updates will be sporadic at best. There will be lots of romance, limes, and lemons but they will be taking the scenic route. Sesshomaru will also be OC in this story. The basis being that he has had time to grow more emotionally and also come to terms with things as far what he saw as his father's betrayal and his relationship with Inuyasha. Enjoy**

**Warning : Character Death**

**Chapter 1: The Beginning of the End**

"I love you Kags," Inuyasha said in barely a whisper.

Tears that had been threatening suddenly started to fall as if a faucet had been turned on at Inuyasha's use of the nickname he had given her so many years ago. Smiling through her tears Kagome tried to control the tornado of emotions that were threatening to tear her apart from the inside out. Wiping her face on the sleeve of her kimono Kagome fought to get a hold on herself once more.

There would be time to lose herself in her grief later but now she had to be strong. She would share Inuyasha's final moments and let him see her smiling face shining bright with her love for him, so that he could remember and take that mental image with him to the afterlife.

Sitting beside their bed Kagome held onto Inuyasha's hand and looked deeply into those golden eyes she loved so much. Kagome got a queasy feeling at the lack of strength those hands now held. It just didn't seem right. Inuyasha had always been the picture of vitality and strength and to look at him now she could barely see a glimpse of the once over confident hanyou she had fallen in love with three hundred years ago.

Kagome's mind kept screaming at her over and over at the injustice it all. If anything she should have died before him not the other way around. He wasn't supposed to grow old and die. He was supposed to live for many more hundreds of years.

For the thousandth time Kagome cursed her immortality, a side effect of her wish on the completed jewel. She still remembered the joy she felt knowing that even though she would not be able to share Inuyasha's life span she would still be able to be with him for many centuries to come. It was like a fairytale. After all the pain and suffering she finally had her happily ever after.

Just the thought of that now left a bitter taste in her mouth. Yes, Inuyasha was part youkai but he was also part human. Kagome had always assumed Inuyasha would live to her time and beyond. She didn't know until much later that the life span of a hanyou was not even a quarter of the length of the life span of a full youkai.

Kagome had to bite down on the side of her cheek to steel herself against the onslaught of despair that threatened to overtake her once more. For years they had scoured the lands looking for some kind of loophole or spell that would bind Inuyasha to Kagome to no avail. Sesshomaru couldn't even help.

Over the years the brothers had come have to a relationship, a strained one but a relationship none the less. Sesshomaru was more than willing to help but the problem was that Tenseiga was not as all powerful as they had once believed. The demon sword could bring the dead back to life but not if the death was from natural causes. Kagome had learned this the hard way with the death of her sister Sango. Maybe it was the Kami's way of keeping some type of balance.

Kagome was brought back to the present by a slight squeeze of Inuyasha's hand. Realizing she had gotten lost in thought Kagome pulled her attention back to her beloved mate once more.

Reaching over with her right hand Kagome cupped the side of Inuyasha's face gently and then traced the crow's feet that adorned the corners of his eye. "I love you too dog boy," she replied her voice threatening to crack. Over the years much about his appearance had changed but not those. His eyes were as beautiful and clear as they had been when they had first met.

His breathing getting shallower, Inuyasha pinned Kagome with a hard stare as if willing himself to stay with her for just a little longer. Smiling weakly Inuyasha flashed a fang and said, "No matter what I don't regret anything. I would not have changed a thing."

Squeezing Kagome's hand as tight as his weakened body would allow Inuyasha grimaced in pain. His words coming out slowly and deliberately Inuyasha finished. "Don't let this be it for you. You have so much love Kags. …you …. have…..move on."

Kagome's tears were flowing freely now. All she could do was nod as Inuyasha took his last breath.

Outside the hut birds scattered as they took to the sky frightened by the sudden wail that pierced the sky.

Sesshomaru who had been monitoring Inuyasha's health from a safe distance outside of the village closed his eyes in silent prayer for his lost sibling. He had truly matured, well as much as a whelp like Inuyasha could, and had proven himself worthy of their father's name. He had also proven himself as a brother and even a friend of sorts. As a matter of honor and because the miko was pack Sesshomaru would make sure to look out for Kagome for as long as he walked this earth.

For right now it would have to be from a far. At her cries of anguish Sesshomaru had to fight the urge to run and comfort her. Not because he was so unused to emotions, because he had truly opened up a bit over the years, but because of the reason he had started to put distance between him and the miko in the first place. Even now with Inuyasha's passing Sesshomaru couldn't be sure of his full reasoning for wanting to comfort her.

Yes, it would be better to keep his distance, for now anyway. With that last thought the Taiyoukai turned and headed back to the western lands to patrol as he tried to banish thoughts of a certain raven haired beauty that haunted his dreams way too often.

**O.k. guys tell me what you think. Still new at this I hope it was a good beginning.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Her Heart's Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Note: Italics are personal thoughts.**

**Chapter 2 Echoes of Times Long Passed**

Kagome continued through the village smiling and nodding as she passed by the different people. It had been a long day and she was looking forward to the solace of her hut. She didn't stay in the village for any long amount of time anymore because it was just easier. Though many still knew of her as the Shikon Miko, many things had been forgotten but for some reason that still got passed down from generation to generation, and just accepted the fact that she never seemed to age there were some that were wary and distrustful of her.

Kagome had just come from seeing Sango's great granddaughter Kisa. It was still hard to see her sometimes as she reminded Kagome so much of both Sango and Miroku. Watching how Kisa had grown and the person she had become Kagome knew her friends would be proud, that at least brought her some small comfort. Kagome had continued to keep tabs on the family and make sure they were not in need of anything. Though they no longer knew who she really was they were always hospitable.

One family member had even suggested, when they thought Kagome wasn't listening, that Miroku had once saved the life of Kagome's great grandfather and that was the reason for her continued loyalty after all these generations. Content to let them believe what they wanted Kagome never contradicted them.

Kagome had originally stayed in touch with Sango and Miroku's kids but as they passed and their children started to grow Kagome made the decision to step back. When she had lost Miroku and then Sango it was hard but she still had Inuyasha. Then between losing their children and then Inuyasha it was too much for Kagome. It was just too hard keep losing her friends and family, and Kagome wasn't sure her heart could continue to take it. She still checked on them from time to time but as far as they knew Kagome's family and theirs had always been close and it was due to a matter of honor and long term friendship that she still came by to aid the family.

It was then that Kagome started to really withdraw from the world. Of course she still went about helping anyone in need of it, but those lasting bonds she had always sought before were now a thing to be avoided.

Stopping at the sounds of laughter, Kagome watched a group of the village children playing. Leaning on a wooden stud Kagome smiled a little as she watched a particularly cute little girl trying to run after a ball. Heaviness in her chest suddenly took hold over the sight of the one thing she wanted most but that she and Inuyasha had never had a chance to have.

They always thought they had more time so they didn't rush it since they stayed so busy. First there was the hunting down of any crazed demons still running loose after Naraku's destruction. Then it was helping the slayers village be rebuilt and the never ending improvements on their hut to give them just a few extra perks from the future. It was always one thing and then another and before either one of them had realized it was too late. Sighing softly Kagome turned and resumed her slow trek back.

Getting close to her home Kagome stopped and looked up at the windmill. It was one of the first things they constructed together. Ever since she started coming to the feudal era Kagome's interest in history had soared. When the decision was made that she would be staying in the past Kagome was determined to at least make things a little easier for them with a few modern day comforts. That was when she had gotten the idea for the windmill.

One particular evening while studying her history Kagome came across the fact that driven water-lifting devices were first discovered in a book written in the twelfth century in China. By that period of time China was using windmills as a source for energy and windmills had become popular in the Southeastern area of the country. It was because of this that Kagome wasn't very worried about it having a negative effect on the future. Everyone already knew she was from far away, although not how far, so for all they knew that was where she had picked up the information.

Looking at it wistfully Kagome thought back to when they had first started to work on it. The heaviness from earlier had turned into a deep throbbing pain as she remembered times long passed.

**Flashback**

"I don't know why we need all this shit anyway Kagome. You said you would stay with me as my mate, that means you accept the fact that you will be here and need to give up all the ec..tronic shit." Inuyasha said as he lugged another half dozen of bags from the well.

Rolling her eyes Kagome countered, "You're just mad because I said no to the T.V."

Kagome had decided to wait a few more days before making her wish on the jewel. She knew this would be the end and that the well would close, so after spending a couple weeks with her family she started stocking up on any and all supplies she could get to fit through the well.

His face tinting red at the truth in her words as his ears flattened against his head, Inuyasha admitted begrudgingly, "Well I'm just saying. You get to bring back batteries and medical supplies. You even brought back those lights when we can just use candles instead. Why is it that when I want to bring something back you start yelling about too much stuff could change the future? What about the lights?"

"Inuyasha, at this point in time people in China are already using hydraulics so it won't mess with hardly anything. Plus only we will know anyway. The batteries and stuff no one will even see us use. _Plus I am not living 500 years without my favorite toy, _Kagome thought with a smirk.

"Hydra- what?" Inuyasha asked momentarily lost.

Smiling Kagome came closer and started to massage the tips of his ears, smiling at the moan she elicited from him. "Water power Inuyasha. The big windmill we've been working on."

Huffing Inuyasha moved away from Kagome knowing she was going to win this argument if he didn't get her away from his ears in a hurry. "I still don't see why we can't get one of those small ones that run on batteries," Inuyasha complained bringing up the T.V. once more.

"I already told you there would be no signal here," Kagome started before seeing his dejected look.

Moving up to him again Kagome gave in. " Maybe we can get a portable DVD player and stock up on some movies and music. But we only use it at night in the hut when no one can see."

At her agreement Inuyasha's ears perked up as his face instantly lit up with a smile that made Kagome's heart speed up a couple of beats. God how she loved him.

"You know you'll see all this stuff again," Inuyasha said softly leaning into her touch as he wrapped his arms around Kagome's waist gently. "Once you become my mate you'll share my lifespan and we will live through to the future together."

**End Flashback**

Ignoring the stinging in her eyes Kagome continued onto the hut. This was no time for self pity, she knew if she went down that road that she would get nothing done today. Kagome still needed to finish cleaning the hides she had gotten the other day in trade for her services.

She didn't charge but the village heads always offered her something whenever she came to help since being a miko was her only job. Sighing, Kagome tried to banish all thoughts focusing instead on the work that had yet to be finished. Kagome was so preoccupied with her thoughts she never noticed she had a silent observer. Had she just looked a little to her right she would have seen a very rare sight; Sesshomaru without his mask with longing clearly evident in his eyes.

**Until next time guys. Please review and let me know what you think. Suggestions and criticism always welcome but flames will be ignored.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Her Heart's Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Note: Dream Sequence in Arial Font and Bold**

**Chapter 3 Good Morning Heartache**

Three days later

_**Midriko stepped up to Kagome closing the gap between as she then laid a hand over Kagome's heart. It was slightly warm as it started to glow but then the warm assuring feeling Kagome had been experiencing left quickly and in its place was a deep foreboding. **_

_**Part of her was screaming. Stop this! Go Home! Think about this!**_

_**Panicking Kagome tried to pull away from the hand when she realized, to her extreme terror, that the hand would not budge. So instead Kagome tried to push away but it was like pushing against a stone wall and she could do nothing but stand there.**_

_**Then the face began to morph into something almost unrecognizable. Deep glowing red eyes with the face of a rabid wolf now stood before her. The manicured nails that were there only moments ago were now deadly claws. The claw started to dig ripping through her shirt and skin until it's talon like fingers wrapped around her heart, squeezing it harshly as an expression of delight transformed it's features to look even more gruesome. **_

_**A tear ran down her cheek as Kagome felt her insides being ripped out. The blood leaving a sticky warm trail as it ran down her front to pool at her feet. Kagome was in so much pain she couldn't even scream, she could only stand there whimpering as she waited for her end to come.**_

_**Then the thing that was once Midriko started talking. Kagome must have been getting delirious from the loss of blood because her only thought was how it could still be talking with such huge jaws and teeth.**_

_**It wasn't until she felt a jerking motion in her chest followed by a burning pain that spread along her spinal cord and then throughout the rest of her body.**_

_**All Kagome could really think about now was that she would welcome death. She just wanted it to be over she couldn't stand the pain anymore.**_

_**She started to cough up blood when the thing started to speak to her once more. Apparently it had been speaking for some time but Kagome couldn't or just didn't hear it. It could be because she couldn't hear over the thundering heartbeat in her ears or due to the fact that her life's blood was now painting the ground around her.**_

_**Then everything got quiet and she could hear was the weird creature before her. The voice was still pleasant and a big contradiction from what Kagome was seeing.**_

"_**You are a brave soul Kagome, but remember there is no hope. It is the will of the Kamis. You will spend the rest of your life alone watching the world change and move on without you." **_

_**At those last words it the rest of the creature started to glow brightly until its whole body looked as if alight. From their connection Kagome's too began to glow. The glow slowly spread out from Kagome's heart out surrounding her as her lungs started to burn in protest to the sudden lack of oxygen. **_

_**(End Dream Sequence)**_

Kagome's eyes shot open as she woke her hand over the heart that was desperately trying to escape from her throbbing chest. Sitting up slightly confused Kagome looked around the room in a panic as she tried to get her bearings. Outside the window a flash of glowing eyes caught Kagome's attention. Getting up to run to the window Kagome couldn't help but wonder what he was doing. Why was he out there in the middle of the night?

"Inuyasha!" she called almost desperately. When Kagome reached the window she looked everywhere but he'd disappeared.

Kagome had no time for games right now. Instead she raised her voice almost screaming.

"Inuyasha please! I need you right now. I had a nightmare and….."

That was when everything came rushing back and a coldness closed around her heart. For a moment Kagome couldn't breathe as she remembered that she was all alone. Inuyasha was lost to her forever.

Collapsing in heap Kagome started to bang on the floor with her fists, screaming and crying. It just wasn't fair why she couldn't at least die so she could be with him. Hadn't she done everything she was supposed to and yet here she was lost and alone.

Kagome felt utterly helpless as she lay there in so much pain she felt she would drown in her sorrow. This was one of the worst moments of her life- when she understood that this was not a dream from which she could wake. All we can do is weep from our eyes but on that evening Kagome felt as if every pore on her body , every crack and cranny were all weeping together as they tried to rid her body of the never ending tears in her heart.

As she continued to cry letting all the pain she felt at the moment out a flash of gold turning red came from the window as her silent observer stayed close, unable to offer the comfort she needed but unwilling to leave. Taking a seat under the Kagome's bedroom window Sesshomaru closed his eyes as he tried to calm himself. His emotions were swirling within him in reaction to the Miko's pain. Leaning his back against the hut Sesshomaru got more comfortable since he would not be going anywhere soon. Maybe his silent presence would somehow soothe the miko even if it was only subconsciously.

UNTIL NEXT TIME

Short I know but I needed it to end here. The next chapter will be longer, promise. Let me know what you think guys. ^_^


	4. Chapter 4

**Her Heart's Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story and poem are mine.**

**Author's Note:** Hey guys, I know it has been kind of depressing with Kagome's moods but I promise it will get better soon. Sesshomaru will be appearing any day now. I was going through old stories and paper's when I came across an old poem I wrote almost ten years ago and so I stuck it in here. It seemed to go with the theme of the whole chapter. Also before I begin thank you everyone for your wonderful reviews it means more than I can say.

**My Despair** by Dragoness

Always in the dark of night you find me,

Creeping into my bed like a thief in the night.

Your strong, dark embrace sending cold chills down my spine

Like a long lost lover forgotten over time

Squeezing the life out of me till I fear I can longer breathe

How do you always find me?

When I'm alone, weak, and afraid

Haunting me wherever I go, never able to hide

We have been companions for a long time now, have we not?

Secret lovers if you will

Sometimes I hate you, sometimes I welcome you

You're always there, my only constant

Then as suddenly as you came you start to leave

Disappearing in stages in time with the sun

Finally, after what seems an eternity you completely let go

The sun has come up to chase you away

At last I'm free, at least until another night

Farewell for now my friend, my enemy, my lover….

**My despair.**

**Chapter 4 Kagome's Despair**

Kagome woke with the thought that her mattress was really getting bad. She couldn't really fault the people since they only guaranteed 25 years but she couldn't help feeling irritated. As she started to sit up, much to her bodies protest, Kagome looked around and noticed she was on the floor. Rubbing her swollen eyes she thought about the events that led to her current sleeping arrangement. Kagome's face turned grim as she proceeded to shakily get up and get cleaned up for the day.

Now in the late morning with the sun shining the nightmare seemed far away. It was only when Kagome let her guard down that everything seemed to overwhelm her and that feeling of helplessness grew. Her grief, it seemed, had become like a drunken houseguest, always coming back for one more hug.

Simple decisions, whether to heat water for tea or even what to eat, had become almost agonizing. So, Kagome decided not to make any real decisions, she would just watch movies and vegetate. Anything was better than being alone with her thoughts right now.

Something noisy and action packed preferably but she had already seen almost everything more times than she cared to count. Forgoing her favorites Kagome picked up a pile of her American movies. Looking at the title she decided this would be good enough, this one she had only watched once and that was when she first moved into the hut.

Kagome remembered seeing it but for the life of her all she could remember was the phrase, "There could be only one."

Turning the DVD case over Kagome was about to read the synopsis of Highlander when she realized it didn't really matter. She doubted she would pay much attention anyway other than to laugh at what she now knew were terrible and unrealistic fighting styles.

Heading into the pantry Kagome selected one of the many wine bottles that lined the far wall. All of the wines were in different stages of readiness, the only indication the balloons around the mouth in place of a lid. Going toward the bottle that had one of the biggest balloons Kagome grabbed and left the pantry without even bothering to look and see what kind it was.

Kagome knew she should eat some food for breakfast instead of just liquor but she couldn't seem to get it in her to care. At the mere thought of food her stomach started to flip and her mouth started to water in that tell tale sign that promised vomiting. Nope this would do. She shouldn't feel ashamed, Kagome was no quitter but even she deserved at least one day to feel sorry for herself.

Plopping down in front of the portable DVD player she had adapted, THANK KAMI for How To books and hydraulics, Kagome then filled up her empty glass from the previous day and started the movie.

After the first thirty minutes Kagome actually started to get into the movie. It was everything she needed to take her mind off of things and the action scenes weren't too bad. After a while between the total lack of sleep and the wine Kagome's eyelids started to droop and she drifted off.

When Kagome woke the movie was close to the end and apparently Duncan Macleod, who was immortal, was thinking back over his life or something. Kagome could not recall this exact point in the movie but she started feeling antsy none the less. However, chucking it up to her overly emotional night Kagome ignored her feelings. That was until she heard the song playing while memories of different times in his life were shown.

_(Song Lyrics)_

_There's no time for us_

_It's all decided for us_

_This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us_

_Who wants to live forever?_

_Who wants to love forever?_

_Oooohhh, when love must die!_

At the stinging in her eyes Kagome decided that she'd had enough, it seemed like everything was against her. The fortieth anniversary of Inuyasha's death was coming up and instead of getting easier it seemed as though it was getting harder. She always had trouble sleeping around this time but this was getting ridiculous. She couldn't seem to go five minutes without breaking down in a blubbering heap and she still had quite a few years to go before they invented Zoloft. Letting out a sigh Kagome decided it was time to pay his grave a visit, maybe she just needed to talk to him now instead of waiting for the actual anniversary.

**Until next time guys, Next chapter will let you know all about Shippo.**

**Song**- Who Wants to Live Forever by Queen

**Duncan Macleod**- Main character of the movie Highlander

**Balloons on the bottles**: This was an old fashioned way of making different types of fruity wine. The balloons would blow up as the wine fermented and gave off gases. It was something more in the United States but I threw it in here anyway. Once you figured out how big the balloon should be for your tastes then you could just look at the size instead of sampling the wine every time to see if it was ready. My great grandmother taught me how when I was younger, by the way she just turned 103 this year even though she only owns up to 101. ^_^ I still have many fond memories of going down into her wine cellar to help and the various pretty colored balloons sticking out of the bottles. ^_^


	5. Chapter 5

**Her Heart's Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**I just wanted to again thank everyone for their wonderful support and reviews of this story. You guys ROCK!**

**Chapter 5 Decisions, Decisions **

It was another restless night for Kagome and something had to give. She woke a few hours before dawn and decided to take what was becoming her regular early morning walks. As she walked Kagome thought about several things that had been on her mind of late.

The first being her son Shippo, Kagome missed him so very much. She smiled as she thought about how cute he used to be. Her little fur ball, was the nickname that came to mind.

She would never forget the day came when she, Inuyasha, and Shippo had been summoned to Sesshomaru's castle. In appreciation of the "understanding" between the brothers Sesshomaru had contacted one of his more trustworthy allies. Once he had found out on an earlier occasion that Shippo was the last from one of what used to be the most powerful Kitsune clans he arranged for him to be set up with a family in another equally powerful clan.

Sesshomaru had said in his usual direct and blunt way that even though Kagome had done well raising the kit he would need to live with his own to grow and learn what it was to be a Kitsune. Even though she felt her heart would break, Kagome could not stand in the way of Shippo getting all that he needed. She loved him with her whole heart and would do anything for him but no Kagome could not teach him Kitsune magic, or about their traditions and history.

They had all stayed at the castle for two weeks after that since it was only the three of them, both Sango and Miroku has passed on by then. The first five days Shippo had been inconsolable. Shippo had always been wise beyond his years but he was still a child and at that point he was a child that felt his mother was abandoning him.

After thousands of hours talking and explaining everything from different angles Shippo still did not want to go but understood what it was his mother wanted for him. Once that was settled the rest of the time at the castle was spent making many memories that would last forever of their time then.

Every five years Shippo returned each time looking a little older and excited to show Kagome all the new things he had learned. He spoke of the family he stayed with often with happiness but would always reiterate to Kagome that she was still his mother and that would never change. To this Kagome just nodded as she would think, _Yeah as if I would ever step down from that title._

Then one day about fifteen years after Inuyasha's passing she was walking the familiar well worn road to home. Kagome had just returned from trading and helping a few villages three days away, her little cart she brought with her bubbling over with goods. She was slowly pushing the cart afraid it would topple when a young youkai grabbed the cart from her as he offered his help.

Kagome just stood there in the middle of what could be called a road as she tried to come to terms with this youkai who had the audacity to take her cart from her. She hadn't even said it was o.k. Then Kagome thought he might be stealing her cart while she was standing there muttering to herself about rude Youkai.

Calling after him with threats of purification Kagome finally caught up to the young youkai and stepped in front of the cart. "Thank you but I can handle my own things from here," she tried to say diplomatically through clenched teeth.

Smiling the youkai replied, "O.k. but I just thought you needed some help mom."

At the word mom Kagome froze and took a closer look at the male in front of her. His face had grown into those big beautiful green eyes and he was as tall as she was. His waist length hair was still a little bushy as it fell down and around his shoulders in loose curls closely resembling a lions mane. "Shippo, OH MY GOD11" Kagome cried as she lunged at her now grown looking son. Laughing his eyes lighting with merriment Shippo let go of the cart with one hand to catch his mother. He reveled in her embrace as he buried his head in her neck refreshing her scent in his memory.

After ten minutes of them standing there in the same position Shippo realized Kagome had no intention of moving anytime soon. She talked nonstop in between sobs. Shaking his head at his mother's much loved oddness Shippo continued his walk to Kagome's hut pushing the cart in his left hand as he held Kagome in his right. When she finally let go they were standing in the living area. She could not believe how big and handsome her son had become.

Kagome made some tea and some of Shippo's favorite sweets and then they sat down and caught up, Sounds of laughter and crying filling the house into the early hours of the morning.

By the next visit since her life span was extended they agreed to see each other every ten years unless he was in the area. Shippo had started to travel all the country visiting different clans, Kitsune and other Youkai alike. In between the time they would get together she received lots of correspondence that was sent to the Western Lands and then brought to her by one of Sesshomaru's messengers.

Shippo. She had never needed him more than she did now but she refused to let him know the depth of her problems. After Inuyasha's death Shippo stayed by her side night and day for four months. He would have remained had Kagome not pushed him to resume his travels and studies assuring him that she was perfectly fine.

She still continued act as if she were not falling apart in her letters and when she saw him, manipulating her aura so that Shippo would not see the truth and worry. He needed to be doing just what he was doing living his life, Kagome would not let him sink into the abyss with her. Trying to get her out he might be swallowed as well and Kagome would not allow that to happen to her now not so little boy. Well , she thought with a smile, in her eyes he would always be her little boy.

/

That's it for now guys. I didn't want to shorten the chapter but cutting out more than I already had so I figured this would be a good place to end. Until next time.


	6. Chapter 6

**Her Hearts Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Chapter 6 A Little Determination Goes A Long Way**

Kagome sat on the edge of the couch staring into space. She had been doing so well in trying to keep herself occupied when she fell apart once again. As she sat there, her breath hitching and her body shaking from trying to contain the sobs that just kept coming, Kagome could only feel disgusted with herself. She was supposed to be a grown woman and be able to handle things and yet a small thing like keeping her emotions in check was damn near impossible.

She was also angry at herself for being so weak, a feeling she had felt often when she had first started coming to this era. Defenseless she had been transported to a time where all of those evil creatures and dragons that ate little children up in the story books were real.

Walking the streets of Tokyo you might carry a small can of mace or whistle for protection. Kagome didn't know about swords and archery, but she had learned. _HE _had been there to help and protect her, along with Sango and Miroku to teach her how to survive in this strange time. Over the years she had become a skilled fighter, a stronger miko and many other things in order to survive.

But how would she do that now? This wasn't an outside force that she could defend against but her own mind and soul that she had to fight against. After Inuyasha Kagome knew she needed to leave this place but she just couldn't bear to. Along with the loneliness and bad times the hut was filled with wonderful memories of their little family.

Kagome reached for a tissue to attempt to dry her eyes. She was so mentally exhausted her physical strength had been sapped. Not bothering to wipe her eyes again, it would be of no use as they were like a leaky faucet even though the main leak had been stopped there was still a constant trickle, Kagome instead attempted to control her breathing. At this point if she didn't get it together soon she would pass out from hyperventilation.

The fact that it would be welcomed bliss instead of feeling the burning throb of her heart is what had Kagome really start to make decisions. Things were just getting worse and well honestly it was because her emotional unstableness was beginning to frighten her. She wasn't blind nor did she fool herself. Kagome was well aware of the changes that had been going on with her for some time. She was falling, she was lost.

Kagome who had once been like the rose that bloomed so beautifully and free but now, without the love and attention on which she was nourished, she was slowly dying and withering from the inside out. If she didn't make some positive steps now the person she once was would be lost forever.

Even the colors to her had started to drain out of things; the world taking on the dull grimy quality of the picture in an old newspaper. Kagome knew she lost her place and now she could not find it again. It seemed an almost insurmountable task.

With her eyes finally dry Kagome sat up a little straighter her face expressing her firm determination. It was time to get ready to move on but could she really do that? Kagome wasn't sure she could handle it but she had to. She would not give into the darkness that constantly seemed to beckon her, one thing Kagome had never been was a coward and she wouldn't start now. It would just take a lot of effort on her part, and courage.

How much courage does it take to cut down the rosebush you spent six or seven years helping it grow and learning how to care for it? How much to just say, "Forget about the roses they're no good for me anyway I'll try azaleas." A lot more than Kagome possessed at this time in her life. She had been trying but it was just so hard and Kagome didn't know how after all this time to change to start changing things.

The sick humiliation in her heart was so painful that she found herself distanced from the world. It was with that thought that the image of a beautiful and deadly Taiyoukai surfaced. Youkai _were_ different. Maybe, she could be happy again and have friends again, ones she didn't have to worry over losing so often. She had to face it she was a social creature and this life of solitude was not meant for her.

Just the thought of really interacting with people on more than just a superficial basis made Kagome's heart lighter. Now, the problem was how she could go about it. One didn't just walk up to a youkai and say "Hi I'm Kagome and I want to be friends."

No it would take time but what else did she have but time. Even if it was one person in fifty years or even one hundred years from now Kagome now had something she hadn't had in years. Hope.

For the first time in years Kagome's heart beat with less pain than usual, but the thorns still pierced her, each a terrible memory that she wasn't sure could never pluck free. The only difference now ,being that instead of just sitting around feeling sorry for herself she was going to try to remove them all once and for all.

O.k. guys Kagome is finally up and moving it should get pretty interesting from here. Short I know but it just seemed right for now. Next one will be longer promise.


	7. Chapter 7

**Her Heart's Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: Nope, still down own the characters. Though sometimes I like to daydream that I am Ms. Takahashi. (sighs loudly)**

**Chapter 7 A Strange Reunion**

Sesshomaru sniffed lightly and could not stop the small smile that momentarily broke through his emotionless mask. She was near and coming this way. He had to see her, feel her. He knew he shouldn't but he felt the need to be close to her when she would actually know of his presence and interact with him. Sesshomaru wanted to touch her skin and see if it is as soft as it was before or if years of hard work under the sun had hardened her skin slightly. If he had to do it in the pretense of pinning her to the ground for her own good then Sesshomaru would do it since as far as he was concerned it wouldn't necessarily be untruthful.

He had long ago come to terms with what he felt for his brother's miko. Maybe at one time it was inappropriate but not now. He had never done anything to disrespect or usurp their mating even when at times it almost drove him mad. He put distance between himself and them and even after his brother passed he continued to keep that distance. He always made sure to check on her but stayed far enough to be out of her range of senses unless she was in great distress.

All Sesshomaru could deduce was that since she was familiar with his aura and not threatened by it she took no notice of him when she was distressed, as she has been lately. Not that Sesshomaru was complaining, he had been pushing his luck quite a bit of late and had no desire to explain his actions. For anyone else he wouldn't but if she asked Sesshomaru would tell her while leaving only the parts he felt she might not be willing to deal with. It would be for her health of course.

Before, much to his approval, Sesshomaru had to start staying farther and farther away to escape Kagome's detection. She was getting stronger and making her place in this world but then she had just stopped and become stagnant. He needed to get her back to the way she was and to help rekindle that fire that seemed almost completely snuffed out. Kagome's constant state of unrest was making his beast more of a problem than usual as it struggled to get to the miko and comfort her.

That was another thing that showed how different the miko was compared to most humans. She didn't have the drive to gain more power in order to take over and dominate those weaker, but in order to learn to better protect what she saw as hers. Her selflessness never failed to astound Sesshomaru. In time she had become a born leader. Kagome was no longer compulsive and compassionate but deadly to those that would be a threat. More and more Kagome showed how fit she would be as Lady of the West, the only problem was getting her to see that as well.

~~~~~~~~~~IN ANTOHER PART OF THE FOREST~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kagome walked slowly and without real purpose. This was the fortieth anniversary of Inuyasha's passing and thoughts of him had been bombarding her since right after dawn. Finally fed up with laying there Kagome left her hut started walking. A walk always helped to clear her head and she was hoping this time would be no different.

Kagome was about to take another step when she suddenly went rigid and somersaulted to her right. She turned just in time to block a poison whip attack with her spiritual energy. Pushing forward as she disintegrated the poison whip Kagome unsheathed the katana at her side and went on the offensive.

Smirking Sesshomaru used his demon speed to jump back but then lost sight of the miko. Moving slightly to the left Sesshomaru dodged the attack on his person from behind. Moving even faster as the rush of the chase hit him Sesshomaru then appeared behind Kagome grabbing her by the neck and then slamming her into the nearest tree.

As Kagome struggled to get loose she started turn pink all over as her spiritual energy responded to such strong youkai energy. Realizing she was about to use her powers against him Sesshomaru moved forward to close the distance between them. Fitting his body to hers he used his left hand to expose the side of her neck where Kagome's mating mark used to be and pinching the skin between his fangs he growled loudly.

Knowing she had lost this fight Kagome relaxed her stance and bared her neck even more whimpering her submission.

Sesshomaru meanwhile was fighting to keep the red out of his eyes. He hadn't expected her to submit so soon and part of him was disappointed. Thoughts of him straddling her while she bucked under him kept flashing in his mind. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. Being in such close quarters with her and feeling the way her body molded to his had whipped Sesshomaru's beast into a frenzy. Resisting the urge to growl at the feelings he was experiencing Sesshomaru quickly jumped back from Kagome, a look of sheer boredom plastered on his face for good measure.

"Good job miko. I had thought you too distracted to properly take notice of your surroundings. I also see you have learned to use you miko powers to enhance you strength and speed."

Nodding Kagome re-sheathed her Katana. Stepping forward as she dusted herself off Kagome inquired, "So that is why you have come. Is it time for me to be tested and show what I have learned since last we met?"

Shaking his head in the negative Sesshomaru answered, "I merely picked up your scent and thought to see how you were. We are pack after all. I must admit I am pleased to see you still know your inu manners."

"Some things we never forget Sesshomaru-sama," Kagome replied respectfully.

"Hn. Miko, walk with me?" Sesshomaru more asked than demanded momentarily stunning Kagome.

The two walked in silence for the first mile. As they walked Kagome was just content to have company since she was not really expecting Sesshomaru to say anything. Sesshomaru, however, wanted to talk but was still trying to figure out how to start.

"How have you fared since we last spoke," Sesshomaru inquired.

"I am fine Sesshomaru-sama thank you for your concern but it is not necessary."

Continuing Sesshomaru asked, "Is there anything you require?"

"No I have all that I need. I must say that I do appreciate you sending your men to repair my roof. I had just come back from bartering for some of the necessary supplies when I noticed it had been done. I also must thank you for the furs that were left for me."

Smiling Kagome then added, "You really didn't need to send your soldiers at all much less that many. The towns I passed were all abuzz with the news of the soldiers marching through. Everyone was wondering where the trouble was."

"Hn, I shall keep that in mind for the future," Sesshomaru finished.

Knowing that was about as good as it would get Kagome let the matter drop. No matter how many times she reiterated that she didn't need help Sesshomaru was determined to look after her. As maddening as it was Kagome was also touched by the Taiyoukai's strong sense of pack.

As she continued to walk Kagome realized that there was something she did need. Not having prepared for such a request with a token offering Kagome she wasn't sure she should ask. Not only was he really into formalities but Sesshomaru had seemed to go to great lengths not to interact with her in person. Of course, Kagome was probably being paranoid. Sesshomaru was the ruler of the Western Lands, and as such was very busy.

Kagome really couldn't expect him to personally come to see to her. After all she was just his late brother's wife. Inuyasha wasn't even what one would call a close brother, now that she thought of it Sesshomaru had stopped coming around years before Inuyasha even passed. If he didn't come when his brother was alive, what could Kagome really expect of him now? Still it wouldn't hurt to ask.

Kagome had planned to start off small but here was the opportunity she had been looking for. If she was really going to start to change things this would be a good start. All he could say was no. Kagome was pretty sure he wouldn't behead her since he saw her as pack. Kagome ignored the voice in her head saying that being beheaded might not be a bad thing after all and took a deep breath.

"Ahem," Kagome started as she cleared her throat.

At the spike of nervousness in her aura Sesshomaru stopped and turned to Kagome. Clearly this was something important to her and as such he would give her his undivided attention. That and it would give him a chance to stare at her as he'd longed to do without being conspicuous.

"Sesshomaru-sama, there is one thing I would like if it is possible," Kagome said hesitantly.

Sesshomaru did not speak but nodded for Kagome to continue.

"Do you think you could..well… maybe come by and visit me sometimes?"

Sesshomaru could not stop the surprise from showing on his face. She wanted to be in his company. A small bit of hope started to bloom at hearing the request.

At the look on Sesshomaru's face Kagome tried to quickly explain hoping she hadn't bothered him with her request.

"It's just that I have people I know but all my friends are long gone. With my lifespan so much longer than a nigen's I don't want to start any new friendships. It's too hard. And, you are all I have left of my original pack. All I have left of him." The last sentence was uttered so low that the Taiyoukai almost didn't catch it.

His face resuming its mask Sesshomaru ignored the small twinge he displeasure he felt. So that was it. Because Sesshomaru favored Inuyasha she would want to be in his company.

"Being around me will NOT make you miss him any less," Sesshomaru bit out a little harsher than he meant.

"What?" Kagome asked completely puzzled. She couldn't figure out what one thing had to do with the other. When she finally realized what he was saying Kagome shook her head emphatically.

"No you misunderstand Sesshomaru-sama. I merely meant that you know me. Who I was, who I am and you knew and in your own way loved him as well. There is no one living right now besides you who could understand me and how I feel. If I were to say I remember when Sango flew on Kirara even if you didn't have anything to add or respond with it would be something you could appreciate. Most nigen now do not even believe in your kind. Even my title as a miko is no more than just a title to some. It would be nice to talk with you and share memories or even hear about stories about you two when you were younger."

At the incredulous look on his face Kagome added with a wink, "Well they can't all be that bad."

Nodding, Sesshomaru felt his displeasure lessen considerably. He still wasn't sure if this was a good idea but a part of him had been looking for an opening and it seemed this was it. Maybe it was just selfishness on his part.

Making up his mind Sesshomaru answered, "Very well miko. I am quite busy but will make an effort to come by and speak with you. Perhaps you would like to join me at the castle as well, if as you say you need to be around others with a similar life span."

Kagome could have cried. She had never expected him to say yes, much less allow her into the castle. That was something that had not occurred to Kagome. At the castle she would have a chance to meet with many Youkai and it would easier to a point since they would know that by being a guest of Sesshomaru's she would not wish them harm. As everything sunk in Kagome really smiled for the first time in so long. Without thinking she jumped on Sesshomaru hugging him for all he was worth.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she said still caught up in her high.

At the sudden intrusion Sesshomaru automatically grabbed Kagome, his hands sliding around her waist. Between how Kagome felt and her smell the Taiyoukai let out a growl of want before he could get control of his self.

Misunderstanding his growl Kagome quickly untangled herself from Sesshomaru.

"I am sorry," she stated guiltily, "I was so happy I wasn't thinking. I did not mean to intrude upon your space."

Standing a little straighter Sesshomaru replied, "It is of no consequence. It was just unexpected. I did not mean to growl."

At that Sesshomaru turned and they continued their walk. There was no way he was going to tell her why he actually growled. As they continued walking Sesshomaru wondered if he did indeed have enough self control to honor her request.

/

O.k. guys Sesshomaru is in the building. I hope you guys enjoyed. Until next time. And as always feedback welcom.^_^


	8. Chapter 8

**Her Heart's Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Chapter 8 The Day Her Nightmares Began Pt. I**

They were sitting in the middle of one of Sesshomaru's gardens inside the palace wall. It was absolutely breathtaking, Kagome kept wishing for a camera as she took in the well manicured garden. This was the third time they had met and she had to admit that although it was still a little weird Kagome could not be happier.

This was her second time visiting at the castle, however but if she were to truly open up again it was important to start interacting with different youkai and the palace was at least neutral ground. Kagome had already found a friend in one of the ladies of the youkai court, Leila.

They clicked right away and a friendship just blossomed. At least she hoped they would be good friends. It was still early into the relationship but Kagome was fairly Leila would be like that cool older youkai sister she never had. Kagome had forgotten how nice it was to just hang out and be one of the girls.

It did make Kagome miss Sango but the pain was not stifling anymore. It was a good kind of miss. Kagome was sure she would see Sango again in another plain. (Plain of existence or afterlife)

Today, however Sesshomaru had insisted they have a lunch together and then retire to one of the gardens. Kagome figured he needed to speak with her alone but so far he hadn't really said anything of consequence.

It had been three months since Kagome asked for Sesshomaru to visit and true to his word one month later he had shown up at her door. It had been a little awkward at first and Sesshomaru seemed even more standoffish then usual but he seemed to be finally coming around. Kagome was enjoying the scenery and the company however silent it may be when she noticed Sesshomaru giving her strange glances. Kagome instantly tensed, she had wondered how long it would take him to ask. It seemed Sesshomaru had decided now was the time.

He had been trying to figure a way to approach the subject to no avail. He kept sneaking glances at Kagome trying to study her without actually looking like he was. Shaking his head he realized that this was not going to work. Sesshomaru had been trying not to overwhelm her but he still needed to be himself. If he truly wanted Kagome to know who he was Sesshomaru could not hold back but so much. No matter what it just was not in him to bite his tongue.

He had been wondering just what had happened to the miko. He knew that she did not age anymore and figured it had to do with the jewel but not the reason why. Though he would not quite hold his tongue, he was after all Sesshomaru; he would respect her wishes if she choose not to talk about it.

"Miko," Sesshomaru said in a soft but commanding voice.

At Kagome's glare Sesshomaru fought the urge to sigh and started again. She had been the miko in his mind for so long it would take time to think of her as Kagome much less address her as such.

"Kagome?"

"There is something I have been meaning to ask you," Sesshomaru started cautiously. "I would like to know how it is that you do not age. You look no older than before Inuyasha's passing. How is this possible?"

The first thing Sesshomaru noticed was the change in her aura. The miko was now giving off a lot of sadness and nervousness. What was surprising was the underlying guilt she gave off. Sesshomaru couldn't fathom what she would have to feel guilty about but knew it was a question that would have to keep for quite some time.

This was a very delicate situation and needed patience. Patience was something Sesshomaru usually had in spades but it was wearing out very fast. He had been waiting for longer than she could imagine and now having her so close was maddening.

At Kagome's continued silence and reluctance to make eye contact Sesshomaru knew she must not be ready yet.

"Perhaps another time, Kagome. I apologize if this is a tender spot that cannot be touched so soon," Sesshomaru stated more than glad to resume their companionable silence.

Shaking her head in the negative Kagome cleared her throat.

Looking down at her hands Kagome answered, "There is nothing to apologize for Sesshomaru-sama. I've been expecting the question I just didn't know it would be so hard to answer when the time came. I… I'll tell you, I think I will feel better if I do.

Taking a deep breath Kagome started to explain all that had happened that fateful night. Starting off slow at first, then picking up speed as she was carried away by the memories. Kagome's eyes took on an eerie far off look as she explained the events that had led to the situation she now found herself in.

?/?/

I know I'm evil. I know its short but it was important for the set up for the next chapter. If I stop it here it will avoid a really unforgiveable cliffy. Until next time. ^_^


	9. Chapter 9

**Her Heart's Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: Nope still don't own anything. You'll know when I do though, Sesshomaru will only love curvy black women that answer to the name Dragoness. (^_^) Sorry ladies but I'd definitely keep him to myself.**

**Thank you, you guys are the greatest with all the support with the story. I have to give a special acknowledgemnt to Raven2010 though. You have truly been great.**

**Chapter 9 The Day Her Nightmares Began Pt. II**

**Two Hundred and Ninety-Five Years Ago**

Kagome lay motionless for a few moments listening to Inuyasha's even breathing. Sliding out of bed she quickly donned her pink fuzzy robe with slippers to match, and then throwing her coat over top Kagome slipped out the hut. Inuyasha immediately sensed Kagome get up but knew where she was headed so he remained where he was. He had told her that she needed to do this on her own and he would let her.

Kagome moved further away from the hut and into the meadow walking with the moonlight as her only guide. Once she felt she had walked far enough Kagome went down to her knees and opened the hands she had been clutching to her chest to reveal the completed Shikon No Tama.

The moonlight acted as sunlight on a diamond as it illuminated the jewel in Kagome's hands. For a moment Kagome forgot to breathe as she beheld the jewels beauty. Kagome had never really seen the jewel as beautiful before. It was hard to when you were running from demons all the time, with a burden she doubted that even Frodo would be able to bear. That paired with all the tragedy and death that resulted from such a small thing also made it near impossible to see it as anything other than just her duty.

Now the end of this crazy journey had finally come and the start of her new life with Inuyasha could finally begin. Thinking of the hanyou Kagome couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face. She wished he were here now with her but he was right. This is something she had to do alone. At first she was a little hesitant when they had first discussed her wishing on the jewel.

How would she know which wish would be selfless and pure enough to make the jewel disappear forever? It was Inuyasha's unwavering faith in her that helped Kagome the most. Even now the memory tugged at her heart to the point of pain.

**Flashback **

"Don't try to force it Kags. YOU are the Shikon Miko. They wouldn't have chosen you if you weren't the right one to rid the world of the jewel forever. Trust yourself and when the time comes you will know what the right wish is."

Kagome's breath had hitched in her throat at Inuyasha's gentleness as well as his faith in her. He had really come a long way since she first released him from his fifty year sleep, and then again, so had she. No longer feeling insecure about his place in the world and with family and friends surrounding him Inuyasha had learned that it was o.k. to show that softer side sometimes though it was mostly just when the two were alone.

At his declaration Kagome hugged him fiercely burying her head in his neck. Inuyasha wrapped his arms around her to return her embrace when the first whiff of her tears hit his nose. Jumping back as if she were crying acid instead of just tears Inuyasha looked at Kagome with a horrified expression.

"Awe, geeze! What did I do now?" He said panicking. He would never understand females. Waving his hands in front of himself he quickly added, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was wrong you can't do this, maybe you being the jewel's keeper was an accident. I mean, why would they let you shatter it in the first place? Just stop crying already."

Later on as he lay in his own personal shaped hole Inuyasha thought that maybe that wasn't quite the right thing to say. Then again when could he ever win when it came to understanding Kagome? At least he almost understood Sango, just stay away from her rear and don't make Kagome mad in front of her and he was safe.

**End Flashback**

Kagome now knew what her wish would be. Her stomach turning in knots Kagome started to perspire as she nervously chewed on her bottom lip. Suddenly it was too quiet as if all the wild life in the area were quietly waiting for her to make her wish.

After a quick prayer Kagome opened her eyes and spoke, "I wish for the four souls in the jewel to finally be at peace."

The jewel then begin to glow as the jewel separated into four balls of light all shooting off into the sky with the exception of one that hovered in front of Kagome's face. Her breath quickening Kagome made to move when the ball started to expand and glow brighter. Shielding her eyes Kagome could only wait to see what fate had in store for her now.

When the light died down and nothing came at her Kagome dropped her hands to see the figure of a beautiful miko standing before her. She resembled both Kagome and Kikyou but was so much more and her miko garb was much more luxurious. The strength and purity she radiated instantly soothed Kagome as she looked into an expression so warm and inviting that Kagome could only smile as waves of soothing energy touched and caressed her very soul.

Reaching her hands out for Kagome the Miko spoke, "Rise child for I would speak with you."

Taking the offered hands in her own Kagome stood up as she looked in awe of the figure before her. "Midiriko?" Kagome asked.

"Yes Kagome, do not fear. Feel how your very spirit reaches out and joins with mine. I mean you no harm," Midriko calmly assured.

"Is…is it over?" Kagome hesitantly asked.

"For now, yes. You have done well and no wish could have been more perfect. It was right that you were chosen."

Blushing from such a compliment and shaking her head emphatically Kagome stated, "No but I broke the jewel and so many died from my mistake. It's only because of my friends that I was able to accomplish what I did. I am not worthy of your praise."

Linking her arm with Kagome's Midriko started to walk. Smiling knowingly Midriko glanced sideways and answered.

"The jewel was destined to be broken centuries before you were even born. You are the only one who could do this but you could not do it alone. You have always had great power in you but in order to grow strong enough spiritually, mentally, and physically certain trails had to be endured. The shattering of the jewel also allowed you to meet many allies that all helped in their own way to get you to the point you needed to be to complete the jewel and defeat Naraku." Pausing to gather her thoughts for a moment Midriko looked over the expanse of meadow before her.

Continuing Midriko stretched out her hand in gesture. "Just like it takes many flowers, weeds, pebbles, and grass to make this meadow whole think of each person you ran into as one more flower or blade of grass. All were needed together for the complete picture to be seen. Think about the miller who kept an extra eye out because you healed his daughter and sent word when all the demons seemed to be coming through and heading in the same direction. It was because of him that you got an indication of Naraku's whereabouts. What about the stranger that took you all in so you could rest in safety that just happened to have the salve for your twisted ankle? All these were small parts of the same larger picture. You could not imagine the amount of people that would have died and suffered if things had not gone this way. Those unfortunate souls that lost their lives were just a drop in a bucket compared to what could have been. Do not blame yourself Kagome."

A sigh of relief escaped Kagome's lips as she felt as if a great weight had been lifted from her heart until something occurred to her.

"Um, Midriko. Earlier you said it was over for now?" Kagome asked already dreading the answer.

Her expression hardening a bit Midriko nodded. "That is the next thing I must tell you. The jewel will never be gone for good. It is a great source of power and energy can never be eliminated, it will just change forms. It is that fact that will make evil rise again to try capturing it once reborn. At that time good will have to rise in return for there is no light without dark, just as there is no yen without a yang."

Stopping and turning to face Kagome once more Midriko continued, "It is because of this we are speaking. You have not only done what you were meant to but your goodness and purity have touched so many more souls than the Kami ever dreamed."

At Kagome's questioning look Midriko held up her hand to silence Kagome and shook her head. "There is no more time for questions Kagome I am sorry. I can not stay much longer. Leave it to say it is because of you that Inu NoTaisho's remaining heirs have come to a sort of agreement. By those two just being on the same side a lot of the troubles that were to come have now been avoided. You must remember that even though some things are destined free will always plays a part.

Sighing knowing time was running out for her Midriko jumped to the heart of the next topic. "You're path is just beginning again but there are still hardships in your future. You have a choice. You can continue to be the jewels keeper to delay it being reborn and thus lengthen your lifespan or you can choose to live out the life you have as a normal human would. If you accept this proposition the jewel would go back into your body but would be dormant, no demons will haunt you because of its power. There will not even be a hint of an aura coming from the jewel as it will merge completely with you."

Trying to figure out how to proceed, Kagome stated respectfully, "Midriko I am honored but I am going to be mating Inuyasha. I will share his life span so I must humbly decline. I think it is time that the torch is passed," Kagome stated. Midriko had said it herself, Kagome had done her job. All she wanted now was to live out the rest of her days with Inuyasha.

An expression Kagome couldn't quite place but felt uneasy about crossed Midiriko's features. Before Kagome could really get a good look it was gone the only thing left to prove it's existence was a terrible gut wrenching feeling in Kagome's lower belly.

"Have you talked to Sesshomaru or any full demon about your plans? Your friend Kouga perhaps?" Midriko asked sadly.

Taken aback at the question Kagome cautiously answered, "No, this is kind of a personal decision. Sesshomaru will know eventually and Kouga, well I would rather him find out after. It would be less complicated."

Her lips were thinning out from the pressure of keeping silent as Midriko thought over all that was said. Just when Kagome couldn't take it anymore and was about to ask what was wrong Midriko started to speak again.

"I am sorry that I am the one to have to tell you this. Even if you mate Inuyasha you will not be able to share his life span."

At Kagome's wide eyed expression of denial Midriko again held up her hand for Kagome to stay silent and continued. "Inuyasha is a half demon, strong and capable but half none the less. His life span will be longer than yours but only by a few more hundred years. Sharing ones youkai in the mating process is what binds a couple together which is how a lifespan is shared. Inuyasha's youkai is stronger than most demons but not strong enough to do that. Maybe if you were a half demon or full demon. You have miko powers instead of youkai so it might work with an exceptionally strong full demon but regretfully that is not Inuyasha."

"You will be able to mate and share a connection though not as strong as a full demon mating, but you will have your same lifespan and he WILL outlive you. This is why you were offered this choice; it will at least give you hundreds of years together."

Kagome felt like her head was going to explode. This was all so new and so sudden. She could not lose him now, not after everything. Her head bowed as silent tears slid down Kagome's face. She would never have her happy ending would she unless….

Pinning Midriko with a pleading look Kagome asked, "Couldn't you just make him a full demon?"

Shaking her head Midriko answered in a low voice, "That is beyond my power. There is only one choice if you wish to spend your life with Inuyasha."

"How long would I live?" Kagome asked.

"The time is not specific. It will be until the new descendant is born that is meant to carry the Shikon No Tama, after that you will start to age normally."

Nodding Kagome asked, "How much time do I have to decide?" though she already figured what the answer would be.

"Now," Midriko answered barely above a whisper.

It was as she figured. Kagome's chest tightened at the implications of it all. What other thing was she missing? There wasn't any time, how was she supposed to jump into this without knowing all the ends and outs of what this entailed. But then Inuyasha's face came to mind and she knew it did not matter. She loved him with all her heart and soul and together they would get through whatever problems arose.

"I accept," Kagome said, her eyes shining with determination.

Closing the gap between them Midriko put a hand over Kagome's heart. "You are a brave soul, Kagome. Things will not always be easy for you but do not give up. Remember that there is always hope."

At her last words Midriko started to glow brightly until her whole body looked as if alight. From her hand over Kagome's heart Kagome too began to glow. The glow slowly spread out from Kagome's heart out. The light was so bright Kagome had to shut her eyes against it and when she opened them Midriko was gone and she was alone once more with only the moonlight to guide her back home.

It was just too bad Kagome never thought to ask just how much longer Inuyasha would live for the thought of being without him had never crossed her mind. Maybe the choices they made would have been different had she asked but then again maybe not.

/?/?

**Sorry about flashback in flashback. Hope it was o.k. I wasn't quite sure how to do it. Anyway I hope you like. Don't forget to tell me what you think or how you think I should change things. (^_^) Until next time guys.**

**Frodo (The Hobbit from Lord of the Rings)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Her Heart's Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Note: Personal thoughts in italic**

**Chapter 10 Kagome the Scar**

The two of them sat in silence for a while. Kagome keeping her head down so that her eyes were hidden by her bangs while Sesshomaru sat there feeling like a heel. Even though she was crying silently he of course could smell the salt as well as feel the deep sorrow coming off of her aura in waves.

What was he going to do now? His beast was snarling and growling obscenities at his insensitivity and the need to comfort her was overwhelming. Reaching over Sesshomaru placed his hand on top of Kagome's in what he hoped she would see as a comforting gesture.

"Kagome, I apologize. It had not been my intention to cause you any more pain," Sesshomaru said in a deep voice.

At the sudden contact Kagome's eyes widened as she looked up into Sesshomaru's face. Kagome couldn't be sure but just for a moment she was sure she saw something in Sesshomaru's eyes made her breath quicken.

As she looked up at him with her blurry tear stained eyes Sesshomaru reached up and wiped a tear away with a very sharp manicured claw. Looking into his eyes Kagome felt like she had just been swallowed up as his eyes took on a more open rounded shape and his beautiful well trained hair started to look a little fuzzy.

The tears now falling tenfold Kagome suddenly moved her hands away as she started to hastily get up.

"I..I'm sorry Sesshomaru-sama I really must go, I have not been home in far too long," Kagome stammered out as she tried to make a hasty retreat.

Closing his eyes as he tried to calm the rage inside him Sesshomaru spoke gently, "You are upset. Perhaps you should retire to one of the chambers at least until you are more ready for travel."

"Oh, don't worry about this," Kagome laughed nervously as she gestured towards her face. "I have just been an emotional mess lately. I am sorry to worry you but I am fine. The walk will do me good."

Watching as she steadily backed away from him and made her retreat Sesshomaru resisted the urge to howl. Once he was sure Kagome was well out of range Sesshomaru let his mask drop as he headed the opposite direction leaving a trail of steaming bubbling grass in his wake.

Using his incredible speed Sesshomaru finally stopped when he reached the hidden caves he used to hunt in as a young cub by the ocean. With no one to witness his great rage Sesshomaru let out a howl that was as full of anguish as it was displeasure letting all wildlife know to stay away.

Losing himself in the many emotions that were overwhelming him Sesshomaru snarled and cursed in his native Inu language as he used his claws to break trees and reshape rock. He knew he shouldn't have moved so fast.

Why did he ask Kagome what had happened? Things had been going so well and now not only had he scared her away but he had done the one thing he had promised himself not to do. Sesshomaru had upset her and made her shed tears.

Kagome had already gone through so much she didn't deserve to have to be put through more. Sesshomaru was torn, he knew Kagome would never heal until she faced her demons but he had no wish to cause her any more pain than necessary.

As Kagome blindly ran through the corridors in her attempt at a quick escape she unknowingly bumped into someone.

Looking up Kagome saw her newfound friend Leila. Leila instantly sensing Kagome's started to detour the shaken miko into her rooms as she asked, "Kagome why are you so upset? What has happened?"

Holding onto her hands Leila sat down forcing Kagome to sit along with her.

Kagome feeling a little ashamed at being seen in such a state shook her head as she tried to shield her eyes with her bangs.

"It's nothing, really there is no need for you to worry. I was just talking and ended up opening some old wounds that were best left sealed. I need to learn to just shut those unpleasant memories out and just move on with my life, but it's easier said than done," Kagome said sadly.

Giving her a knowing look Leila answered, "Forgive me for saying this but maybe that is just what you need. You only have to have the courage to do it."

"What," Kagome asked incredulously. She might be nice and all but Leila had no idea just how much Kagome had been dealing with. If she didn't have courage she wouldn't be here now would she.

Sensing Kagome's anger Leila did not speak for a moment as she pondered how to get her point to be understood. Offending Kagome was the last thing on her mind; she merely did not want her to try to keep smoothing over wounds that were obviously not ready yet. Nodding her head as an idea hit her she began again.

"Kagome do you see this scar?" Leila asked as she lifted her Kimono to reveal her heavily scarred calf.

Eyes widening in concern Kagome said, "Oh my god what happened."

Shaking her head at her new friend, Leila pushed Kagome's hands away. Smiling Leila regarded Kagome for a moment longer, only one as loving as Kagome would push her own worries aside so easily for the sake of another.

"I am not in pain now please listen Kagome," Leila said trying to put her at ease. "You Kagome are like these scars."

At her declaration Kagome could do nothing but stare her mind completely uncomprehending. _What? What in the world is she talking about? Wait! Did she just compare me to a bunch of horrible scars? _

Kagome was trying to decide if she should take offense when Leila continued.

"I got these in the siege on my father's castle. I was very young, no older than maybe your pup when you first found him. The cougar demon clan had been waiting for my father to leave on his journey to the far ends of our land to help negotiate a truce between to lesser clans.

Knowing he would be heavily guarded since my mother was to accompany him they stayed low biding their time. You see my mother was pupped but it was customary for the two to appear at such things together as a sign of strength. "

"Such unrest could not be brought to the castle and since she was in her early stages they deemed it an acceptable risk. Looking back now of course I realize that the cougars were probably the ones that stirred everything up to the point where something had to be done immediately to get them out of the castle; however that is neither here nor there.

The main thing is that with the majority of his troops with him to protect his queen the castle was left pretty much defenseless. Those soldiers that were left were no match for the sheer numbers and brute strength of the cougar demons. I managed to escape and hide in an underground safe room but not without first being attacked.

As I was crawling into the little door built for me one of them grabbed my leg and tried to pull me out. I managed to hold on to a little handhold in the stone but my leg was almost completely severed and fractured in some places.

By the time my father came for me there was a huge battle in which my mother and the pup lost their lives. Between the battle, my mother being buried and the annihilation of the cougar clan much time had passed and my wounds had healed.

The problem was my leg was not been set and cleaned so it had not healed properly. Once everything was said and done and my father realized the problem it was too late and the only thing to do was to re-break the leg and let it heal properly."

Looking up at Kagome's watery eyes Leila gently smiled as she took both of Kagome's hands into her own once again.

"Don't you see Kagome? I had to go through the pain of the cleaning and re-breaking in order to heal properly and so do you."

Leila got up and went behind the shoji screen in the far corner. When she returned she had a cup of warm tea in her hand that she offered to Kagome.

Taking the cup Kagome automatically started to sip the warm liquid as she thought over all that Leila had said to her. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Leila once again started to speak. "Kagome please at least think of what I have said to you.

Kagome looked at the cup in her hands trying to figure out how it got so heavy when it suddenly tumbled from her grasp only to be caught by Leila. Shaking her head to clear her mind of the fuzziness that had so suddenly taken hold Kagome looked accusingly at Leila.

"Did you spike my drink?"

Leila didn't understand the word spike but understood what it was Kagome was trying to ask and nodded her head slightly.

With a mischievous smile she answered, "Just a little bit," as she put the cup down to grab a hold of a very sluggish Kagome.

The last thing Kagome heard before the darkness claimed her was the voice of her soon to be purified to a pile of ashes friend telling her not to fight it. The voce kept telling Kagome to just relax and rest that she would be safe and feel much better in the morning. Kagome tried to counter with a smart comment but nothing came out other than a half snort.

/````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Tell me what you think guys. I hope you all liked it. Until next time.


	11. Chapter 11

**Her Heart's Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Note: **_**Dream sequence in bold**_

**Chapter 11 The Dream That Never Ends**

_**Midriko started to glow brightly until her whole body looked as if alight. Closing the gap between them she then placed a hand over Kagome's heart. It was slightly warm as it started to glow but then the warm assuring feeling Kagome had been experiencing left quickly and in its place was a deep foreboding. **_

_**Part of her was screaming. Stop this! Go Home! Think about this!**_

_**Panicking Kagome tried to pull away from the hand when she realized, to her extreme terror, that the hand would not budge. So instead Kagome tried to push away but it was like pushing against a stone wall and she could do nothing but stand there.**_

_**Then the face began to morph into something almost unrecognizable. Deep glowing red eyes with the face of a rabid wolf now stood before her. The manicured nails that were there only moments ago were now deadly claws. The claw started to dig ripping through her shirt and skin until it's talon like fingers wrapped around her heart, squeezing it harshly as an expression of delight transformed it's features to look even more gruesome. **_

_**A tear ran down her cheek as Kagome felt her insides being ripped out. The blood leaving a sticky warm trail as it ran down her front to pool at her feet. Kagome was in so much pain she couldn't even scream, she could only stand there whimpering as she waited for her end to come.**_

_**Then the thing that was once Midriko started talking. Kagome must have been getting delirious from the loss of blood because her only thought was how it could still be talking with such huge jaws and teeth.**_

_**It wasn't until she felt a jerking motion in her chest followed by a burning pain that spread along her spinal cord and then throughout the rest of her body.**_

_**All Kagome could really think about now was that she would welcome death. She just wanted it to be over she couldn't stand the pain anymore.**_

_**She started to cough up bleed when the thing started to speak to her once more. Apparently it had been speaking for some time but Kagome couldn't or just didn't hear it. It could be because she couldn't hear over the thundering heartbeat in her ears or due to the fact that her life's blood was now painting the ground around her.**_

_**Then everything got quiet and she could hear was the weird creature before her. The voice was still pleasant and a big contradiction from what Kagome was seeing.**_

"_**You are a brave soul Kagome, but remember there is no hope. It is the will of the Kamis. You will spend the rest of your life alone watching the world change and move on without you." **_

_**At those last words it started to glow brightly until its whole body looked as if alight. From their connection Kagome's too began to glow. The glow slowly spread out from Kagome's heart out surrounding her as her lungs started to burn in protest to the sudden lack of oxygen. **_

_**(End Dream Sequence)**_

Kagome woke with a start. It was always the same nightmare. Kagome wondered if she would ever be free of the constant pain and turmoil. As she sat up she felt something wet hit her arms, squinting in the dim light as she held her arm up to her face Kagome was relieved to see it was just tears. Years of living in the feudal era had made her wary, Kagome was sure she must have been attacked by something and was bleeding. Kagome was so lost in her own thoughts that she never realized she had company.

"Worry not miko, you are unharmed. Do you doubt my ability to protect those in my care?" a sultry voice spoke from the darkness.

Kagome's breath caught in her throat at the sudden intrusion. Turning towards the sound of the voice Kagome saw two golden eyes staring at her. The sight would have been frightening had she not known the owner of that voice, because in the dark those beautiful eerie eyes glowed like jackal lanterns. The feeling that they were cat eyes was overwhelming but they were sitting up so high were no table or chair could be that it lent an otherworldly feeling to the whole thing.

Knowing her thought process since she had remarked on how his eyes looked in the dark before Sesshomaru gave a predatory grin. Moving ever so slowly to make the effect more dramatic he came towards the bed and leaned in front of her face.

"What is the matter miko, cat got your tongue or it is a dog that has it, hn?" Sesshomaru said seductively.

Kagome could feel Sesshomaru's breath on her face and instinctively moved back, as her face took on a very deep shade of red.

Huffing, hating that she was blushing and that he could see it Kagome tried to change the subject. "Well, sorry if I was startled. You know you really shouldn't sneak into a woman's bedroom, especially as you pointed out a Miko's bedroom. It's a good way to get purified."

His grin widening Sesshomaru was glad his distraction worked. Already some of the horrible smell of sadness and guilt had dissipated from her scent.

Sitting down of the side of the bed Sesshomaru spoke, "Actually mi..ko this is my castle and as lord of said castle it is within my rights to go anywhere I please. Besides who could sleep anyway with all the mumbling you were doing?"

Sesshomaru was glad she couldn't see him. He couldn't keep the smirk off of his face. He truly enjoyed ruffling Kagome's feathers and she was absolutely breathtaking with her face flushed like it was, this time in embarrassment.

At the mention of the noises she had been making Kagome stiffen and her expression once again turned serious. Sesshomaru silently cursed himself as he sensed the shift in her aura Sesshomaru and so he refused to let Kagome say another word or to even dwell on such things right now. Reaching over he quickly grabbed Kagome up blankets and all and placed her on his lap. Sitting back against the headboard to get more comfortable Sesshomaru ignored the high pitch "eep" that came from the miko.

Before Kagome could ask what he was doing Sesshomaru spoke in a commanding voice that left no room for argument.

"Sleep Kagome, I can sense your weariness. There will be no more unpleasant dreams," Sesshomaru stated as he tucked Kagome's head under his chin and started to growl. The rumble coming from his chest felt like it was going straight into Kagome's muscles relaxing them and turning them into mush. Too tired to fight Kagome gave in and had one of the best sleeps she'd had in at least forty years.

Once he knew she was in a deep sleep Sesshomaru let out the contented sigh that had been threatening to break free from the moment he had taken Kagome into his arms. Looking down at her sleeping form Sesshomaru planted a chaste kiss on the top of Kagome's head before leaning his head back and closing his own eyes.

Sorry if this is a little too much fluff for my angst people but I am truly a romantic at heart. "^_^" Until next times guys.


	12. Chapter 12

**Her Heart's Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Note: Personal thoughts in Italics**

**Chapter 12 Sesshomaru the Bully**

Kagome woke up the next morning feeling refreshed. Smiling as she stretched, Kagome glanced around the room trying to quell the feeling that something was missing. Her eyes widened almost comically as the events from the previous night came back to her.

Looking around there was no sign of Sesshomaru or that he had even been in her room at all. Was it all a dream? Scratching her head Kagome tried to think if it was anyway to tell if Sesshomaru had really been there but that would be impossible.

She had to be dreaming. That Sesshomaru was flirty and joked with her. He listened to her and held her gently as if she were the most precious thing in the world.

As she got up and started to wash and get dressed Kagome's thoughts stayed on the mysterious behavior of the Taiyoukai. Even if last night was a dream thinking back over the time they had been spending together Sesshomaru was a lot more different than he used to be. He showed more expressions, at least in his eyes his face was still usually an emotionless mask but he did smile from time to time.

Well, she was pack and Kagome knew how seriously Sesshomaru took his obligations and whatever he felt to be his responsibility. She was sure it was just that but sometimes she could almost swear that she saw more in Sesshomaru's eyes than what should be there.

Of course that was ridiculous. Kagome's heart fluttered at the thought of the Western Lord fancying her. She smiled as she saw those big road shoulders and those eyes so beautiful and different yet so alike to…..

Kagome's thoughts stopped right there as she put a hand to her mouth, her eyes starting to water. What kind of horrible person was she to even be thinking about this? Becoming overwhelmed with guilt Kagome braced herself against the terrible throbbing in her chest. How could she betray his memory like that?

That was when Kagome realized she needed to go home for a while. Something was wrong with her and she needed air and space. Not forever, she wasn't running away, it was just until Kagome could get herself together.

Kagome had been walking for what seemed like forever before she realized where she was. Deciding that this looked as good as any place to stop and think Kagome sat down to think and that is how Sesshomaru found her still in the same spot lost in her own thoughts.

Following her reiki signature Sesshomaru found the miko sitting in one of the gardens by the east wall. She was wearing one of the new kimonos he had commissioned for her. It was made of much tougher silk than her regular ones and was made to be more flexible and easier for her to maneuver in.

Sesshomaru watched her as she sat with her legs tugged under her looking out over the wall to the lands below. There was such sadness emanating from her that Sesshomaru had to suppress a growl. He hated that he was the one that had caused her to be like this.

Ever since Kagome had shared her story she had been very quiet and reserved. Sesshomaru was worried but he could not figure how to approach her. This was much worse than before, at least before Kagome had been letting all her anguish out but now to just watch her walking around locked inside her own head was disturbing.

Leila seemed to be able to bring a smile to Kagome's face but it was never for long and very rarely did the smiles ever reach her eyes. Sesshomaru had been trying to keep Kagome in the shiro but it was getting harder. She was not a prisoner but he was loathe to let her go home alone in the condition she was in.

Sesshomaru had to get her to open up but he couldn't figure out how. Finally an idea came to him as he headed towards the distraught miko. As he sat beside her Sesshomaru gave Kagome an appraising sideways glance as he spoke in a soft voice.

"I remember Inuyasha rolling down this hill when he was younger."

Brought out of her musings Kagome blinked a couple of times as her brain processed what Sesshomaru had just said. Intrigued Kagome stated with a smile, "I bet he was adorable."

Sesshomaru continued, encouraged by the change in Kagome's aura. "He was learning how to walk I do not know how adorable one would call it."

Kagome's smile widened as she pictured a small Inuyasha trying to walk in his fire rat with cute little ears twitching. In her mind she even saw a younger Sesshomaru looking over his younger sibling without scowling at him.

"I remember when Sota first learned to walk. He fell all the time but we put down a type of cushion called bumpers so that he wouldn't hurt himself. I guess Inuyasha would be fine if he fell in the grass. I must say I am surprised though. Sota was human for some reason I would think Inuyasha being a half demon would have more balance," Kagome said as she smiled at the image in her head.

"Not when I pushed him down the hill," Sesshomaru stated calmly.

Kagome stopped and looked at Sesshomaru incredulously, her mouth agape. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. No it wouldn't have killed Inuyasha and apparently Sesshomaru was trying to converse with her but for crying out loud. Even back then he was a bully.

"Why would you do that? Did you hate him so much even then?" Kagome asked a little sadly.

"It was to teach him a lesson. Inuyasha's mother kept putting sandals on him. With half demons they do not have the control full demons have. Just like you put a scar ruff on his head when he visited your time his ears still tried to push it off. As a child Inuyasha was worse. His claws cut through the geta sandal and dug into the earth below. He needed to learn to control his claws and tread carefully. When he started to stumble I pushed him," Sesshomaru stated as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Kagome thought that perhaps to a demon it was. Feeling much better Kagome smiled once more, "  
So you have been playing big brother for a lot longer than even he realized."

Snorting in a very undignified manner Sesshomaru added, "I also pushed him because I did not like him." He was serious but Kagome could also tell from the mischievous look in his eyes he was also trying to get her riled up.

Kagome playfully swatted Sesshomaru on the arm as he growled and tried to look upset. It was very hard to do when he was enjoying her company so much especially now that her scent had returned back to normal.

Sighing in contentment Kagome scooted over and leaned against Sesshomaru. It was weird how easy it had become to talk and spend time with him but Kagome was glad she could.

Kagome would be shocked to know that Sesshomaru's thoughts mirrored her own. He was very glad he was able to open up. If Kagome was to ever get to know the person he was Sesshomaru would need more days like this where he could show Kagome the side of him she never knew existed. Perhaps she would see something she liked_, well other than the obvious_ Sesshomaru thought to himself.

Hope you like it. See ya next time


	13. Chapter 13

**Her Hearts Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Chapter 13 The Green Eyed Monster Raises It's Silver Head**

"Thank you again Seamstress Cho," Kagome said as she bowed and took her leave, it was time to return home.

She had been requested by the elder miko of the village and upon arrival had found that the village had its own seamstress. Never one to pass up an opportunity Kagome commissioned some towels and things of the sort.

It had been two weeks since she left Sesshomaru's castle and she was feeling a little better. He had not been happy of course but it wasn't as if Kagome was going to let that stop her. He could not expect her to just leave everything and move out all at once. She needed to take baby steps this was her home they were talking about and it was big deal for her.

Singing as she continued her trek home Kagome stopped as she was starting to get irritated. "You know if you are going to continue to follow you could at least walk with me and keep me company," Kagome said to her stalker.

"Forgive me my lady miko," the man said as he stepped from behind the tree he thought he was doing a good job of hiding behind.

"I don't know how you noticed me but I would gladly walk beside you. I met no harm but a pretty lady like yourself should not be walking around without an escort. Even for women doing the Kamis work these are still dangerous times to be walking alone," the stranger said as he ambled up beside her.

Kagome appraised the man standing before her. She recognized him immediately as the one from the last village she helped that had offered to carry her basket for her.

That was one thing Kagome would admit to, the gyms of her time had nothing on the workout the men got in this time just from not having the modern day conveniences she grew up with. And boy did it show, not that she was really looking but she did have eyes.

He was a ruggedly handsome man, tall and lean but very muscular and tanned from hours in the sun doing an honest day's work. He had light brown eyes with beautiful long lashes that only women should be blessed with. His clothes were simple but relatively clean and his smile was very alluring. Not only did it reveal the cutest dimple on his left cheek but brightened his whole face. It gave him a nice mixture of good guy that likes to be naughty every now and again.

Chastising herself for the direction her train of thoughts were taking Kagome declined.

"Thank you very much but I assure you I am more than capable of taking care of myself," Kagome said politely.

"Well then maybe I could just accompany you for a while. It has been quite a while since I was last in the company of such a beautiful lady. My name is Hinomura, Kyo" he said as he flashed a smile that would make any normal woman weak in the knees.

Blushing lightly Kagome nodded and continued walking.

"So, why do you travel? Wouldn't you rather pick a village to stay in and settle down?" Kyo asked.

"I did for a long time. Now I just like to travel, maybe someday I will settle down in one place for good." Kagome responded. Kyo was certainly interesting and also a big flirt but Kagome didn't mind. It was kind of cute. It was also nice to be treated like a regular woman, not the Shikon miko and not the odd one.

"What about you? Do you not have a family?"

"No but I am always on the lookout. Any suggestions?" he asked flirtatiously.

Laughing at his Miroku-ness Kagome said, "Nope sorry. I guess you will just have to keep looking."

The two continued to laugh and talk for the next few hours with Kagome glancing around every so often. She kept getting a tingling sensation but as soon as she tried to pinpoint it the sensation would vanish. Sensing no threat she continued on but kept extra alert.

Kyo finally begged off after promising to visit soon. Kagome doubted he would. He seemed to lose steam once he realized that his normal good natured humor and boyish charm weren't getting Kagome to budge as he had hoped.

After a lingering kiss on the back of Kagome's hand Kyo turned and headed back in the direction of his village. Neither party saw the golden red eyes narrow and follow Kyo's progress back towards where he had come neither did they hear the low growl that had ensued.

Further back in the woods Sesshomaru tried to calm down, for a change he and his beast were in perfect unison. He knew the miko would pick up the male following her but he felt the need to watch. She was more than a match for such a weakling, however upon smelling his arousal Sesshomaru almost beheaded the man instantly.

That was when he heard Kagome address the male and he knew he'd missed his chance to get rid of him without her noticing. So Sesshomaru had stayed back holding back the snarls that kept trying to arise at the male's obvious flirtation with his miko. Sesshomaru had been doing well until he saw the male's lips on what he deemed his and his control almost slipped. Taking a deep breath Sesshomaru closed his eyes and tried to center his self. Taking the scroll from his sleeve he reminded himself of his reason for visiting and quickly walked ahead so that he would be there at the hut waiting when the miko arrived. As he went over all the different feelings he was experiencing and tried to squash his irritation at the male's behavior Sesshomaru sighed. That woman would be the death of him.

/oo/oo/

Until next time guys. I hope you all liked it. I also hope you feel a little better with Sesshomaru having an actual reason for coming by instead of just being a gorgeous stalker.


	14. Chapter 14

**Her Heart's Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Before I start I just want to thank everyone again for all the wonderful reviews and suggestions.**

**Warning: Lime**

**Chapter 14 Total Eclipse of the Heart**

As Kagome entered the hut the first thing she noticed was Sesshomaru sitting at the table. Not saying anything Kagome just raised an eyebrow at the fact that the Taiyoukai entered without her permission. Of course he was more than welcome and he could sense she was not home so it wasn't as though he would have walked in on her getting dressed or anything but he was usually so formal. Kagome took it to mean that he was now comfortable with their friendship enough to know she would not mind and that he was welcome.

"It is good to see you," Kagome said as she washed her hands and took a seat opposite Sesshomaru.

"Hn, Kagome I come bearing news." Sesshomaru stated in no mood for banter.

Kagome looked Sesshomaru over for a moment. Something was definitely bothering him but apparently he was not in the mood to share. So she would indulge him for the time being.

As he handed the scroll he had been holding to Kagome she could see the tell tale sign of whom the scroll was from and she laughed, clutching the parchment to her chest.

"It's from Shippo," she said excitedly as she started reading completely ignoring Sesshomaru. He did not mind however, that was her kit. He patiently waited for her to finish the extra time would be good since both he and his beast were still very upset that another male had touched her.

At the smell of salt Sesshomaru looked over a Kagome with a worried look contorting his features. As Kagome's eyes locked with his she started to shake her head trying to tell him she was fine. Before she could get it out Sesshomaru had already swept her up in his arms bringing her up to eye level.

"Kagome?" he asked.

Sniffling as another tear rolled down her face Kagome said, "It's alright I just miss him so much. Shippo is fine. Sometimes it just hits me all at once that's all."

At her admission Sesshomaru let go of the breath he didn't know he had been holding and crushed Kagome tightly to his chest. He had already wanted a reason to get rid of that offensive males scent and this was the perfect opportunity.

Automatically he wrapped his left hand around Kagome's waist while he entangled his other hand in her shiny locks. Sesshomaru breathed deeply as he took in her scent, it was much better now that that offensive odor was gone, and noticed there was still the bitter smell of sadness so he started growling in a soothing manner. At first Kagome just stood still surprised by Sesshomaru's closeness but she soon melted into his embrace. It just felt right, so Kagome closed her eyes and relished the feeling of being in his arms.

When Sesshomaru started to growl Kagome couldn't help but smile. He had done this a few times now and she secretly loved it. The vibrations always acted as a massager relaxing all her muscles and a the feeling of safety always calmed her.

Sesshomaru picked up the faint trace of her arousal and quickly let go. He wasn't sure if he could stand Kagome's smell laced with arousal with his beast already feeling quite possessive. "I apologize if I have taken liberties with your person Kagome I only meant to comfort you."

Smiling reassuringly Kagome nodded, "You are fine Sesshomaru. I know how Inu are, I was mated to one once you know. "

Nodding Sesshomaru stated, "There are things I must attend to so I will take my leave now." Sesshomaru then turned and in a flash of silk and fur he was gone. Closing the door Kagome took a deep breath. What had just happened with her? She needed to think and cool down taking a deep breath Kagome tried to wrap her head around what she was feeling.

**Later that evening**

Kagome still couldn't figure out what was wrong with her. Just from being in such close proximity of him her nipples had started throbbing. Sesshomaru had been sitting there with his usual confident air about him like he always did but when he grabbed her that was when Kagome had caught his scent. As images she would rather suppress came to the forefront of her mind Kagome unconsciously took a deeper whiff as she started to unconsciously lick her lips. Kagome was not usually so brazen but there was something about him that called to her on a basic level, something that promised a good release.

Kagome was glad Sesshomaru had to rush out the door because it would have been difficult to keep her composure as her body temperature started to rise. Her body's response to him had her antsy, aroused, and confused at the same time. Sure, Kagome had urges from time to time but nothing like this. She hadn't felt attracted to someone like this since Inuyasha. Once he passed and Kagome had finally been able to move on with her life, well to an extent, she no longer felt that attraction to males. Inuyasha had been her soul mate and without him there was nothing so naturally her body had just shut down that side of things. Every now and then Kagome would get an urge and she would take care of it but that was few and far in between.

With that almost long forgotten feeling sweeping through her body like wildfire it was like damn had broke and memories of Inuyasha that she hadn't thought about in years came rushing back. As she showered and then headed for the ofuro Kagome smiled thinking about the gruff hanyou that had been the love of her life.

**Flashback**

I don't understand why we have to make it here. If you have your elec..tris..city what does it matter," Inuyasha argued.

"Because Inuyasha," Kagome sighed, "It's not like I can just plug up the fridge. We have to adapt it to run off what we generate which means finding a big enough stream that will constantly flow and not freeze up during the winter."

At the sound of her tone Inuyasha ears flattened against his head as he lowered his voice. "I was just asking don't look like that Kagome. It just seems like I am doing all the work and you just keep looking at those books." Inuyasha stated as he pointed a clawed finger at the book in Kagome's hand.

Really getting irritated Kagome had to fight the urge to use the sit command. She understood this had been a lot more tedious than usual but they had been going back and forth all day. Inuyasha stopped to complain every five minutes it seemed. It also didn't help that trying to figure out exactly what the diagram was showing was giving Kagome a major headache.

Taking a deep breath Kagome answered, "Inuyasha I have to look at the books to read them and figure out how to set this up correctly. Believe me it will be worth it in the end."

At the look of Inuyasha's posture Kagome felt a twinge in her chest. She was pushing kind of hard but time was of the essence. Kagome's plan was to get as much put together as possible before the well closed in case they ended up needing some last minute stuff that they couldn't do without. If that happened it would make all the hard work and planning they had been doing null in void.

Maybe it was time to take a break. Smirking, Kagome schooled her features so Inuyasha wouldn't figure out what she was up to and gently called him.

"Oh, Inuyasha," Kagome called as she started to walk towards him with her hands behind her back.

At seeing Kagome's approach Inuyasha involuntarily took a step back. He had been bitching an awful lot maybe he went too far. Kagome's expression was unreadable and it looked like she had something behind her back. Ears perking up immediately to try and pick up anything amiss Inuyasha made himself stand still and straightened up as he tried to tell himself that he wasn't scared of the woman slowly advancing on him. Usually that look meant he was in for it. It could be either a look that promised extreme pain or extreme pleasure and Inuyasha hoped to any Kami that would listen that it was the latter. He really didn't feel like eating dirt right now.

Putting on a brave face Inuyasha replied, "Yeah wench, whatcha want now."

Speeding up Kagome yelled, "Just this," as she tackled the hanyou to the ground. Straddling him Kagome took full advantage of Inuyasha's shock, using one hand to attack his sides while the other snaked up to attack one furry appendage.

Smirking at her playfulness and the most welcome break Inuyasha wrapped his arms around Kagome's waist pulling her closer to him. Knowing it was useless trying to stop her once she had you in her little human fingers Inuyasha took a different approach. Laughing and moaning at the same time from her ministrations Inuyasha's smirk widened as he saw his opening. Lifting his head slightly he latched onto Kagome's nipple; licking and sucking it through the cotton shirt she was wearing effectively distracting her.

As she stopped her assault Kagome arched her back to give Inuyasha better access as she moaned her assent. Straightening her legs up a bit Kagome started to slowly rub herself up and down on his member as she let herself enjoy Inuyasha's attentions.

Not one to let an opportunity like this pass Inuyasha quickly divested Kagome of her bra and shirt and then his own. Flipping them over Inuyasha then spread Kagome's legs wider to situate himself better. Reaching down to remove her panties Inuyasha groaned loudly when he felt no barrier resulting in him inserting a finger in her. Inuyasha looked up at Kagome questioningly as she shyly smiled. Leaning down Inuyasha passionately kissed Kagome as he pushed her skirt up to her waist cupping her ass along the way and positioned his self at her core.

**End flashback**

Kagome's smile turned bittersweet then. They had been so happy then and naïve. If they had only known then maybe things could have turned out differently.

Her mood now melancholy Kagome stepped out of the ofuro and then headed straight for the wine cabinet. Forgoing a glass she grabbed up the bottle and retired for the night. Hopefully there would be no dreams.

/00/000/

**Ofuro- The Japanese bathtub**

**Until next time guys. ^_^**


	15. Chapter 15

**Her Heart's Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Chapter 15 Moving Day**

"I PROMISE NEVER AGAIN! Just PLEASE don't zap me anymore," Leila screamed breathlessly as she hid behind a tree. Leila had thought Kagome would have had enough time to get over being drugged and realize she was only trying to help but that was not entirely the case.

Now that Leila thought about it she was glad she had waited to see Kagome or her punishment might have been far worse. When she had shown up at her door Leila had been a little worried at her initial reaction but Kagome looked glad to see her and when she had invited her in Leila relaxed.

It was time to pack up the house for good and Sesshomaru had sent her to help. Later on some soldiers would be by to dismantle anything left behind so that no one would get a look at any of the modern day marvels her hut displayed but for the packing up she would need a friend.

Kagome filled Leila in on what had been going on since her absence and Leila had in turn did the same. Leila started to tell everything from right after she had left, apologized about not saying goodbye due to her sleeping so soundly and that was when Kagome had gotten very quite. Leila continued to chat until she got a funny feeling and her fur started to stand on end. One glance at the miko was all she needed to realize something she wouldn't like was about to happen.

Smiling sweetly with an expression Leila could only describe as her grandsire after a week of fasting Kagome said, "Before we continue there is one more thing I wanted to discuss with you."

As Kagome advanced on her Leila started to back up slowly towards the door. Trying to sound as if she weren't nervous at all Leila replied, "Sure Kagome, what's up."

She wasn't sure anything was wrong but her instincts were screaming at her and Leila always followed her instincts.

That was when Kagome pounced, yelling about how friends do not drug each other and such. Leila did not even hear most of it as Kagome's high pitch was starting to cause her extreme discomfort. That was when Leila took off running.

Kagome was fast but not as fast as she was and there was no way Kagome would be able to catch up. To Leila's great relief she turned and realized that Kagome had not given chase. Smiling at this Leila started to walk back in her direction when she noticed Kagome's hands were behind her back.

Feeling confident because of the distance between them and what she thought was a speed advantage Leila slowly closed the gap while still staying back a good distance. Never witnessing Kagome fight or train Leila underestimated Kagome.

Now, as she hid behind a tree panting and looking as though she had been struck by lightning Leila realized her grievous mistake. Not only was Kagome faster than Leila but she was a beast with those arrows of hers. It had never occurred to her that Kagome could use her miko powers against her since as far as she knew they were only meant to kill not punish. All she could do was hope Kagome showed mercy and was finished showing Leila what Kagome had referred to as "the error of her ways".

XYZXYZ

Kagome smirked as she listened to Leila beg for mercy. Yes she forgave the demoness but that didn't mean she would let her off the hook. Kagome had been pleasantly surprised to see Leila, she had truly missed her but then she remembered what had transpired before Leila suddenly left the castle. She understood why Leila did such a thing and did forgive her but Kagome was determined to let her know her that she would not tolerate such deception and make sure Leila realized it was hazardous to her health should she ever try anything like that again.

"You can come out Leila, I think we understand each other now," Kagome said.

Once Leila hesitantly stepped from behind her current hiding space Kagome could not contain her laughter. The lynx demon now more resembled a multicolored porcupine that had been through a fire. Her fur was standing on end and some of it looked as though it was still smoking.

Looking at Leila's expression Kagome knew she could not see the humor in her appearance so Kagome grabbed Leila by the hand and pulled her inside to look at a mirror. Pouting at Kagome's way of chastising Leila could not keep up her sour expression once she beheld herself in Kagome's full length mirror.

Not being able to help it she burst into laughter too at the look she was now sporting. Kagome then with her hands glowing lightly used her reiki to help smooth down Leila's fur and to negate any discomfort she might feel. Sure she was youkai and Kagome did not use enough power behind her strikes to cause any lasting damage this was the final gesture to let her know all was forgiven and they were still friends.

After all the laughter had finally gotten out of their systems they settled down for lunch and Kagome showed Leila a movie. Leila was mystified at the moving pictures and did not move an inch the whole time it played. That was what Kagome had been hoping for. Kagome had been doing much better and was sharing more of herself than before but something's were still too private. She loved that Leila was here with her but there were some things she would rather pack alone.

Heading for her private study Kagome allowed her fingers to drag along the walls, her mind filling with memories of the building of the hut. Going straight for the heavy wooden chest against the wall Kagome started to go through it separating its contents into things that would be stored and things she would keep with her.

Picking up Inuyasha's fire rat Kagome held it up to her face enjoying the worn feel of the fabric and inhaled deeply, but all traces of Inuyasha scent were now long gone as was he. Kagome felt that familiar ache once more but was surprised when she noticed that it had dulled considerably.

Shaking her head from side to side Kagome tried to clear her thoughts. This would be hard but she would not let this get the best of her. Steeling herself Kagome continued to go through the chest and once that was finished she started on another. Before long she was humming lightly, she was not deliriously happy but for a change content. For the time being everything was as it should be.

XYZXYZ

Leila smiled from the living room. No she had not moved but she was not as taken in by the movie as Kagome might have thought. She kept alert to monitor Kagome's aura ready to step in if her emotions got too bad. Leila knew Kagome would have a hard time with this but as she had told Kagome before it was necessary in order for her to heal. A lot would be dependent on Kagome herself but that didn't mean that she couldn't have some help. Leila was determined she would be right there with Kagome to help cleanse those wounds that had been keeping her stagnant for so long.

**XYZXYZXYZXYZ**

**Alright guys let me know what you think. As you all know this will be moving slow but I hope you can see that little by little Kagome is starting to move on and come to term with things. There are still a few breakthroughs she will need to have before she completely opens up but you will be seeing a big one in the next few chapters that will really start to get Kagome moving in the right direction. **

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	16. Chapter 16

**Her Hearts Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Chapter 16 Getting in the Groove of Things**

**Two Days Later**

Kagome was finally settled in and felt better than she had in quite a while. Now she didn't feel so torn between being here at the castle and being in her own home. While she was looking around for places to put up her things she noticed a door. Kagome had never opened it before because she never needed the extra storage room but now it would be most welcome.

As she opened the door to see what kind of space she would be working with Kagome gasped in surprise. When Kagome had first started staying in the castle and was presented with this room she had asked to be a little closer to Sesshomaru's room.

Kagome understood she could not be but so close because of how it would look in Youkai society but she really didn't know many people, even though she was determined to rectify that, so she would have preferred to start off slow instead of being dumped in the middle of unfamiliar territory. Of course she could have stayed in the rooms she and Inuyasha had previously occupied but that would be counterproductive at this time. Truthfully Kagome did not ever want to step in those rooms again.

Now, however, she knew why he had been adamant she should stay here and she couldn't help but to smile at Sesshomaru's thoughtfulness. It was a side of him she was sure few had ever seen.

The door did not open up to a closet but a whole other sitting area with a balcony that overlooked one of the gardens. It was absolutely beautiful, though not a nice as the room she was staying in now. If Kagome kept the door open, which she was definitely going to do, it would be like her own little apartment.

Her excitement bubbling as her mind raced with thoughts of how she would decorate her new found space Kagome could not help but laugh as she clapped her hands in front her bosom and twirled.

**Five Months Later**

Kagome groaned as she tightened the belt around her waist, she did sleep that well and certainly did not feel like getting up for sparring practice. After the first week she had moved into the castle Sesshomaru had deemed she needed to get back in her daily regimen. Kagome was by no means out of practice, but with everything going on lately she had slacked off quite a bit.

As she rushed through the hallways, Sesshomaru was always getting after her about being prompt; Kagome followed the trail that led to the gym. As she went Kagome started to get that rush she always got when she trained. She hated getting up early to spar but once she got moving she felt great.

It also was not as bad as she had assumed it would be working with Sesshomaru. When he first mentioned that she would be training with him personally Kagome was horrified. She could not imagine what a slave driver Sesshomaru would be since he seemed like he lived and breathed battle.

If you were not in a battle you should be training for one. If you were not training you should be strengthening your muscles in order to properly train. Even when he read Sesshomaru would only touch a book if it was strategy, history, or mystery books. The latter Kagome figured was him indulging in the curious nature of most dogs although she would never say that aloud. The great Sesshomaru, Lord of the Western Lands and Son of the Great Dog Demon being compared to a common dog, for shame.

Surprisingly Sesshomaru took his time showing her new moves and katas to do. He was patient and even offered to meditate with her afterwards in the rock garden. He was a slave driver; make no mistake, but his gentleness and patience made the other part bearable. This was also one of the things that they did together. As they trained Sesshomaru would speak of different things from time to time and was not hesitant to answer most of her questions.

Smiling now as she thought of what things he would teach her now and looking forward to spending the time alone in his company Kagome picked up her pace. As she burst through the door already apologizing for being two minutes late Kagome stopped when she noticed Sesshomaru was not alone.

Looking over at the male at Sesshomaru's side Kagome spoke and then bowing formally introduced herself.

The male responded in kind and introduced himself as Hiroko. Hiroko had beautiful green eye and was just a bit shorter than Sesshomaru. He was well built, like any demon in this castle wouldn't be, and had a warm and open smile. Standing side by side as they were Kagome could see the differences in the males though they were equally beautiful.

Whereas everything about Sesshomaru was reserved and graceful, Hiroko gave the impression of being a strict guy when need be but could be relaxed and playful. His long hair was almost to the back of his knees and was a beautiful mahogany color. He had no facial markings so Kagome had no clue of what he was. His claws sharp and deadly with rough hands that she bet could be gentle. _Wait where did that come from?_ A little time in the castle surrounded by so many men was not good for Kagome.

"Excuse me but may I ask what type of youkai you are?" Kagome asked hesitantly. She hoped he would not be offended by her question.

"I am a hawk youkai, my lady," Hiroko replied.

"Oh, you are very handsome. Can you fly when in you true form?" Kagome asked and at his affirmative nod Kagome replied "Cool."

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes at the long look of appraisal Kagome was giving his Captain. Hiroko of course noticed and stuck his chest out a little more much to Sesshomaru's displeasure.

"Kagome you will be training with Hiroko today. He is the Captain of my guards and has a very unique fighting style," Sesshomaru said ready to get on with other things.

Puzzled, Kagome asked," You will not be training with me today?" She was a little disappointed but he had after all made lots of time to spend with her already, Kagome could not expect him to dismiss his other duties to make sure she was alright.

Jumping into the conversation and sporting an overdone pout Hiroko teased, "What you do want to work with me? Here I was thinking I had made a new friend."

Waving her hands in front of her Kagome quickly apologized, "No-Of course I would love to work with you I …just well I am just used to working with Sesshomaru that's all. Please do not take offense."

Flashing his dazzling smile Hiroko laughed heartily, "I was just messing with you really, you have been around my Lord way too much. Lighten up." Kagome smiled at the sound he made when he laughed it was a weird mixture of a squawk and deep rumble if that was at all possible.

Reveling in her obvious disappointment Sesshomaru continued, "It is important that you do not get used to just my style of fighting so I will be having you train with some of my best warriors. I expect you to learn all that you can." Shrugging her shoulders Kagome faced her new combat buddy.

Hiroko watched as Sesshomaru left the gym and then turned to Kagome. Smiling he began to address Kagome.

"O.k. first I need to see how you fight. We will start off with basic hand to hand combat before we grab any weapons. I have no doubt you are skilled, however I would like to look at your form and see if I can find any holes in your defenses."

At Kagome's nod Hiroko winked and added, "Don't believe that just because you are a strikingly beautiful woman I will give you any slack. If anything I might have to work extra hard to get you on your back," he flirted.

With that said Kagome blushed a little at the compliment and his intense stare.

Hiroko suddenly jumped as if stung at the viciousness of the growl he received and promptly turned his attention to his claws rather than the enticing sight of Kagome. Not only had he not realized Sesshomaru was still within sight but he also had not realized his Lord had taken a personal interest in the miko.

He knew the miko was pack and that his Lord was her proxy but the possessiveness in that growl spoke volumes more than anything he had either heard or had witnessed. Deciding he rather liked his life Hiroko clamped down on any thoughts of the miko other than training and sincerely hoped the time would go by fast so that he would be able to put as much distance between the miko and himself as possible.

Kagome noticed Hiroko flinched and moved closer. Placing a hand on his forearm as asked, "Are you alright?"

Hiroko could easily see the concern in her eyes and it warmed him until her remembered the reason he was uncomfortable in the first place. Patting her hand slow enough to be polite Hiroko then backed away rubbing the back of his head. If she didn't know he sure wasn't going to say anything. He had already overstepped his bounds once today.

"Oh, yeah I just an itch. Sometimes when changing back from my normal form something will get stuck in my feathers and will stay stuck to my skin. It moves and suddenly it feels like something is sticking me. No worries. Now let's get started shall we."

She was still a little worried but would not pry anymore. This was her first time meeting him and she would not intrude on his private thoughts. The only thing that nagged Kagome was how quick Hiroko had been to move away from her touch. Of course she could just be over thinking this and making a mountain out of a molehill.

Trying not to think on it Kagome focused on what Hiroko was explaining. She noticed a change in Hiroko's behavior as he explained and moved but thought nothing more of it. Many fighters completely shut down all outside distractions as they concentrated on the task ahead. She was a little disappointed though as she had hoped they could socialize while they trained. Maybe another time.

Later in the hot springs Kagome thought about Hiroko. He had worked her and her muscles were all screaming at her to stay put. After training she had tried to talk to him but he seemed in a rush to leave. She was no fool. Kagome had been around the block enough to know when to leave something alone. She was under no illusions just because of who she was. She was respected for her title and also for her place in Sesshomaru's pack but that did not mean that all demons suddenly liked her and wanted to be friends.

Kagome was sure that was the change she sensed. Once she could no longer feel Sesshomaru's aura the playful banter between the two of them had stopped and he was all business. He had even seemed like he didn't even want to look at her. Prejudice is born of ignorance and sometimes it just took time to overcome so Kagome would not mention anything to Sesshomaru. He had not been rude after all, Kagome just didn't appreciate him putting on airs when Sesshomaru was around and then barely saying a word to her once he was gone.

Whatever, Kagome was not going to worry on this anymore. She needed to relax and soak her aHirokog muscles and that was what she intended to do.

Hope you like it. Please read and review.


	17. Chapter 17

**Her Hearts Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Chapter 17 The Very Desirable Miko**

"What is it Sesshomaru?" Kagome asked as she noticed the scroll clutched in his claws.

"As you know Kagome we are pack." Sesshomaru stated.

Nodding for him to continue Kagome wondered why Sesshomaru felt the need to say that. Of course they were pack.

On this side of the well I am the only relative you have so it becomes my responsibility to be your proxy."

Her brows scrunching up in confusion Kagome asked, "Proxy in what Sesshomaru."

Sesshomaru did not answer, instead he handed Kagome the piece of parchment for her perusal.

Looking it over Kagome's eyes widened, "But I have already been mated."

"Yes but your mate has passed away. You have been given the mandatory wait time and then some to be approached which is 25 years. You do not have to ever mate again if that is your choice but as your proxy we must talk about it and I must present you with the notices. Your gifts have been sent to the castle and should arrive any day." Sesshomaru said.

Kagome had been living at the castle for almost six months now so she had hoped it was due to them finally getting to know her. Realistically though, she figured it was probably because of some threat of Sesshomaru's but after finding out the real reason Kagome almost wished it had been due to a threat.

"What now every man demon and human thinks I would be a fine catch?" Kagome asked exasperated. She had been getting more than a few looks of late and a lot of the male guards around the castle had seemed extra nice.

"Perhaps," Sesshomaru responded slyly, "That is IF you were a little quieter miko," he teased.

"Why you…. you dog. You are supposed to be helping," Kagome sputtered as she punched Sesshomaru in the shoulder and he pretended to at least be moved a little by the force of it. She didn't know if she would ever get used to this new playful Sesshomaru but she definitely liked it.

Huffing Kagome added, "It doesn't matter anyway. Just let them know I am not interested. Give them an excuse or something. I might not want them but I do not want to hurt anyone's feelings."

"Well, if you like I could warn all the demons of how you would make their ears bleed just by your constant chatter and high pitched yelling," Sesshomaru offered as he regarded her with a smirk.

"Shut up!" Kagome countered, "You know you're just, just…" Kagome was trying to find just the right insult when Sesshomaru offered his own suggestion.

"Irresistible?" Sesshomaru said facetiously. He just couldn't help himself. He loved watching Kagome get all riled up. It had taken so long to even get a glimpse of the woman she used to be. Her fire had been smothered for so long he feared it would never grow bright again. It was such a relief to see her like this.

"Well that's one word for it." Kagome huffed. "If you add the words _to purify_ at the end," She mumbled under her breath.

"I heard that miko," Sesshomaru warned.

"Heard what Sesshomaru?" Kagome asked sweetly.

"Hn." Sesshomaru grunted as he continued looking over documents.

Kagome had come to Sesshomaru's office to eat with him since he had been holed up there all day. They sat on the cushions and ate and talked but when he rose to go resume his work Kagome decided to stay and keep him company. Leila suspiciously had to leave again for a few days for reasons she would not explain and even though Kagome did speak with others at the castle she felt like staying right where she was.

She had been slowly starting to get used to Sesshomaru's company. She had been pleasantly surprised when he started to share little tidbits of his life and memories with her. It filled a void Kagome didn't know was there. She'd previously just chalked it up to yet another thing that was wrong with her but now she realized it was more than that.

So while he worked at the desk Kagome lounged on the cushions writing in her journal about all the things she wanted to tell her mother. Seeing Kagome's negative reaction to it Sesshomaru decided to change the subject.

He discreetly asked about how Kagome's sparring went with Cho. Kagome did not intend to say anything at all but when Sesshomaru picked up something in her aura he would not relent. Kagome ended up confessing that though Cho was in no means unfriendly she got the feeling that he did not like her very much.

That was how this whole conversation had begun. Sesshomaru's irritated "Or maybe a little too much" grumble had piqued the Kagome's endless curiosity. Sesshomaru had tried to skirt the issue so he would not be exactly lying to Kagome but unfortunately for him Kagome had learned how to read him quite a bit from the little snippets of Sesshomaru's life he choose to share.

"So that's it, all these males have been just waiting to pounce on me once the allotted time had expired?" Kagome asked.

She then launched into her so called "stalker" incident from her visit home. Explaining how odd it was that he had followed her for so long and then even when she made it plain she was not interested it still took a while for him to get the hint. Sesshomaru sat listening and adding a "hn" here and there in his usual nonchalant way trying not to show his obvious annoyance.

He also didn't want to give off any signal Kagome could pick up that he was hiding something. It was bad enough he had to explain that the demon she had been sparring with had indeed been interested but had been warned to go about it in the proper channels, well she just needed to know the gist of it not how he had issued a non verbal threat to end his life, he was NOT going to admit to following her when she had been home.

"It also has to do with your scent. It has changed of late. Though it is still a little sour due to issues I am sure you know I am aware you are still avoiding but your scent now is somewhat closer to its original pleasantness."

Smirking Kagome stated, "You know you are the only person that can make a compliment sound like an insult or vice versa. If I didn't know any better I would think you're trying to tell me I stink."

A little Irritated at Kagome's obvious misunderstanding of his person Sesshomaru turned to glare at her. Maybe she had not learned as much about him as Sesshomaru had thought and his intent was to tell her so until Sesshomaru noticed Kagome's expression. She was teasing him, a feat very few could get away with and live. He might have mellowed over the years a bit but not that much.

Shaking his head at the thought of this mere slip of a woman causing him to be such a pushover Sesshomaru replied snidely, "Well it could not hurt to bathe a little more miko."

As he caught a cushion a mere inch from his face Sesshomaru's smirk widened, she was getting faster that one almost hit him. This was what he needed to lighten his mood. Sesshomaru had not forgotten any of their previous conversation and it was indeed bothering him.

His beast was not happy and continued to snarl insisting they at least put a courting mark the woman. Sesshomaru agreed but would pace himself; she was not ready quite yet. Sesshomaru had been waiting for years he would not mess it up now. He was trying not to push too much but Kagome was taking his patience to new heights.

First there were the males that seemed to keep running into her or offering help. The ones that had followed the proper channels had all been turned down but they still watched her. Sesshomaru had almost scoffed as he thought back on some of those encounters, as if he would ever give his consent for someone other than him to court the miko. Sesshomaru was half tempted to offer to mark her to keep the other males at bay until she was ready to deal with it personally.

However, as much as he wanted to his honor would not allow it. When he marked Kagome it would not be under false pretenses, she would know without a doubt just how much he loves her and how long he has waited to tell her. He would not betray her trust in any way even if it was to get other makes away from her. It would be her choice and she would be able to make an informed decision.

Next there was her unwillingness to face certain issues that was baffling at times. Like the nightmares she kept having, when would she finally realize she needed to share? It was not something Kagome could keep pushing down deeper into herself and expect it to suddenly disappear. It was maddening because Sesshomaru felt that Kagome's nightmares would hold the key to her letting go.

There was something there she was either not admitting or just would not face and if she continued on like this Kagome would never heal. If she would not heal she would not be able to open up and accept love from anyone and that was not acceptable.

Maybe it was time to bring it up again. His decision made Sesshomaru started planning how he would go about broaching the subject.

**XYZXYZXYZXYZ**

I hope you all liked it. Until next time guys.


	18. Chapter 18

Her Hearts Winter Thaw

By Dragonessclaw

Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.

Chapter 18 Obey Your Alpha

It had been two weeks and still Sesshomaru had not found a way to speak with Kagome about her nightmares. Every time Sesshomaru tried to bring it up Kagome would clam up and refused to even speak on the subject.

As he watched her Sesshomaru noticed how withdrawn Kagome had again become. Even Leila had come to him voicing her concerns about what was going on with her. Kagome looked tired all the time and her eyes had started to get dark circles around them. Of course, she smiled at everyone in passing and spoke warmly enough but the emotions never quite reached her eyes.

Sesshomaru knew Kagome's nightmares had accelerated, whereas before she would have them once in a while now she was having them almost every night. Sesshomaru had not known at first that the situation had gotten so bad but he had taken to walking the halls at night, more specifically passing by Kagome's room.

One particular night Sesshomaru had not sensed anything wrong but his beast insisted he check on her anyway. That was when Sesshomaru realized there was a barrier put up around Kagome's room. It was very subtle Sesshomaru doubted many even noticed it or if they did thought nothing of it but he was not most people.

The next morning Sesshomaru made a point of being outside the door before the barrier could drop. He needed to see how she had fared before she had time to compose herself. As soon as he sensed the change of pressure in the air Sesshomaru knocked lightly and waited for Kagome to open the door. Not pleased with how long she was taking he tried to remain calm as if he thought nothing was amiss.

"Kagome, you test my patience. If you do not want me to "barge in" as you say I would suggest you open this door now." Sesshomaru stated smirking to himself as he picked up the muttering from the other side of the door and the quick steps towards the door.

When she finally opened the door he caught a small trace of tears and sadness. Kagome had obviously tried to mask it but in her haste did not do as thorough a job as she could have. Though he was not pleased Sesshomaru did not say anything about it, instead he decided to redirect her negative feelings into something positive.

"You have not sparred with me in quite some time and I fear you might be losing your edge, my general is very skilled just not as skilled as I. We will meet in the training room in one half hour." That said Sesshomaru nodded and then turned on his heels.

"Knowing this was not a battle she would win by the tone in his voice Kagome shut the door and begin to change into sparring clothes. The last thing she was in the mood for was sparring but when he got it in his head they would do something Sesshomaru would not back down and no amount of excuses would do.

XYZXYZ Later That Evening

Pacing back and forth in front of Kagome's door Sesshomaru could not calm down. He and his beast both were anxious to get in and yet the barrier was up. He could not hear anything from the other side of the door but that did not matter. Sesshomaru could feel she needed him and the panic that swept through him was almost unbearable.

Eyes blood red as he and his beast shared consciousness Sesshomaru put a clawed hand against the barrier. The crackle and sizzle that resulted made no difference to Sesshomaru, he would get in. Pushing down harder as he poured more youkai into the barrier to dissolve it Sesshomaru ignored the burning pain in his hand. The barrier now was starting to glow and from the feel of it getting stronger in response to the youkai that was pushing against it.

Sesshomaru let out a frustrated growl, he would not quit Kagome needed him whether she admitted it or not. Sesshomaru bared his fangs as he pushed with all he had until the barrier brightened to a blinding white before disintegrating. With a brief glance to the angry burnt flesh on his hand Sesshomaru quickly entered the room and headed straight for Kagome's bed.

What he saw and felt scared him. The waves of anguish and guilt that poured off of Kagome were bad enough but to see her lying there thrashing as if she were in a fight for her life as tears ran down her cheeks adding to the growing wet spot beneath her was enough.

As one, Sesshomaru and his beast picked Kagome up and placed her on their lap with her legs wrapped around his waist straddling him. She continued to struggle and could not seem to hear him when he called her name.

Pinning her arms to her side with his own Sesshomaru then grabbed Kagome's head in his hands. "Kagome! Kagome wake!," he commanded but it fell on deaf ears. Unable to move much Kagome still struggled against him. Sesshomaru then shook her by the shoulders but all that did was make Kagome's eyes open.

Usually he would be relieved but grabbing her head again a closer inspection showed nothing. Her eyes were open yes but they were unseeing. They were just empty pools of despair. Sesshomaru was at a loss. Never having come across this before he did not know what action to take. As more tears fell from Kagome's eyes Sesshomaru licked them away holding her close and whining.

Sesshomaru was so panicked he momentarily lost himself to his beast as it continued to lick her face and whine in her ear trying to reach her. As he thought about how that action was proving futile another idea came to him and Sesshomaru once again stepped forward to share control.

Before when fighting youkai with Inuyasha Kagome never injured Inuyasha with her powers because on a subconscious level they follow the will of their master and Inuyasha had been her mate. Sesshomaru hoped it would work with him, even unconscious Kagome knew who her alpha was and should obey.

Tilting her head back Sesshomaru latched onto her neck with his fangs and begin to growl his authority as he flared his youkai. Almost immediately Kagome stopped fighting and was subdued. Letting go of her neck Sesshomaru once again called her name and Kagome began to blink her eyes as clarity of mind set in.

At the sound of her name being called Kagome finally noticed she was not alone in the dim light from the window she saw a silhouette but more telling were the red glowing eyes floating just in front of her face. "Wha… Sesshomaru? What are you doing in here?"

The relief that swept through him at her speaking left him almost breathless. Never had Sesshomaru been so afraid for someone, not even Rin. Kami above, this woman was going to be the death of him. After taking a few moments to gather his thoughts Sesshomaru answered.

"You were distressed and having a night terror. What was it?" Sesshomaru more demanded than asked.

Kagome was still confused for a moment and her brows furrowed in her effort to remember what happened. As it came to her she gasped and her eyes widened as they started filling with tears again. Kagome refused to say another word as her mouth clamped shut and she shook her head from side to side. This time however it would not work, Sesshomaru would get his answers.

"Kagome, WHAT was it?" he asked again in a harsher tone.

Angry not only by her repeated refusal to answer him but also because of her stubbornness Sesshomaru grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her.

"You will not refuse me this time Kagome. You WILL obey your alpha," Sesshomaru spit out shaking her again to accentuate his statement. "Can you not see what your continued silence is doing to you? Is this what how you want to be for eternity, half alive with one foot in the past? Is this what Inuyasha would have wanted for you?" Sesshomaru growled.

At the mention of Inuyasha's name Kagome met Sesshomaru's eyes. In them she could see his anger at her but also the worry and fear mixed with something else her brain refused to acknowledge at this time.

Swallowing hard as she tried to speak Kagome continued to look deep into those eyes, "I….no…help me," Kagome said in almost a whisper as she pulled him closer and started to cry.

Releasing a breath as he tried to get his anger into check Sesshomaru then wrapped his arms around Kagome. Already his shoulder was soaked with her tears but he did not mind. Kissing the top of her head Sesshomaru softly assured her.

"Let it out Kagome, I will be right here." Almost as an afterthought he added, "And then we will talk."

XYZXYZXYZ

Don't kill me it needed to end right here. Until next time guys and don't forget to review. All praise and criticism is welcome.


	19. Chapter 19

**Her Hearts Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Before you begin to read I just wanted to thank everyone for their wonderful reviews. I can't tell you all how good it feels to get some feedback. You are all so wonderful thank you again. **

**Chapter 19 A Stern Reminder**

Kagome continued to cry until the early hours of the morning when completely exhausted she fell into a deep sleep. Sesshomaru held Kagome long after she was asleep as he pondered what he could do to help her. When he had first accepted his feelings for the miko he knew it would not be easy but this was ridiculous. Never in his life had he ever had to deal with anything like this and it left him confused, a feeling that Sesshomaru hated.

As he lay there thinking over everything Sesshomaru sensed youkai coming from the other side of door. This was perfect timing maybe she could help him with this. After removing Kagome from his person and transferring her to the futon Sesshomaru stood as he straightened his clothes and commanded, "Enter."

Leila stepped in hesitantly with her head bowed in respect for her Lord. Sesshomaru however, having no patience for such formalities at this time motioned for Leila to look at him.

"Kagome is sleeping. I would speak with you briefly and then I want you to return here and sit with Kagome until she wakes. Once she does make sure she eats and dresses but do not let her go anywhere, she is confined to this room until I return."

"Yes my Lord," Leila answered as she followed Sesshomaru down the corridor.

**oOOo**

Returning to Kagome's room he felt much better, Sesshomaru now had a plan. Leila had given him quite a lot of insight into this matter and now that he didn't feel as confused Sesshomaru was more at ease. At least he did until he entered the room to a find a very annoyed miko. Kagome was facing him with her mouth set in a frown, her arms across her chest and her left foot tapping impatiently.

"Sesshomaru care to tell me what is going on? Why have I been confined to this room? What happened last night? And why in the world was there blood on my neck this morning?"

"Kagome breathe," whispered Leila from her corner. She had tried to make Kagome comfortable and keep her entertained so that it would not seem as though she had to stay in the room but Kagome was no fool and quickly figured out what Leila was trying to do.

"Well," Kagome asked.

She was in no mood for this. Kagome had not sleep well, she had a pounding headache, and her eyes were still quite swollen thanks to last night's break down. She had not meant to take out her frustrations on Leila but Kagome could not help it. She just wanted to be left alone. This was just one of those days that Kagome wanted to shut the whole world out and run away from everything. She had planned on trying too, that was until Leila had stopped her.

Kagome was grateful to Leila for her compassion and the tea leaves she had given Kagome to reduce the swelling around her eyes had worked wonders but Kagome wanted to go. Not necessarily to run away but to wander for at least a few hours to clear her head. She remembered some of last night mainly Sesshomaru's yelling about being her alpha and all and was planning to be gone before he came for her. She did not want to have this conversation was determined to avoid him at all costs.

At least that was the plan until Leila stopped her. She would not shock her friend again especially for her following orders but, unfortunately for Leila that did nothing to keep Kagome's tongue in check.

Sesshomaru looked over to see a very demur Leila and almost felt sorry for her once he took in her expression.

"Leila you may leave."

Once Leila bowed she quickly made her way out the door shutting it a little harder than she would normally do in her haste to flee her irate friend. Sesshomaru then fixed Kagome with an appraising look. She still looked a little tired but it was a definite improvement over last night.

Holding up a hand to silence her before she went off on another rant Sesshomaru finally spoke, "Kagome I believe Leila instructed you to breathe."

"I am breathing; I want to know what is going on. Now Sesshomaru." Kagome countered.

He realized the miko was upset so Sesshomaru tried to keep a lid on his anger at her disrespectful tone. Sesshomaru knew these were extenuating circumstances so he would let the insult go for now.

Stepping forward he commanded, "Come we will discuss this once we get to where we are going."

"No, not until you explain some things," Kagome said ignoring Sesshomaru's warning growl.

That was it Sesshomaru would put his bitch in her place if it was the last thing he did. Kagome was understandably upset but this was too going too far.

Rounding on her his eyes almost completely red Sesshomaru snarled viciously. Caught by surprise Kagome did nothing as she was backed against the wall by a very angry Inu and held there by his body.

At first all Kagome had was a face full of chest until Sesshomaru lifted her by her arms to bring her to his eye level.

Kagome gasped when Sesshomaru moved even closer molding their bodies together. His face a mere inches away from hers as he took deep ragged breaths trying to get control over his anger once more. In a coarse voice Sesshomaru spoke.

"Miko," Sesshomaru said almost growling.

"When you became pack you pledged your allegiance to the Western Lands did you not?"

Kagome, having enough sense to know when she should just keep her mouth shut nodded her agreement.

Continuing Sesshomaru asked, "As Lord of the Western Lands you are under my rule are you not?

Kagome once again nodded.

"Lastly, when you were allowed to live not only on this Sesshomaru's lands but in his palace you acknowledged once and for all who your alpha was did you not?"

This time Sesshomaru punctuated his last question with a little nip to Kagome's ear.

Nodding again Kagome whimpered and bared her neck to Sesshomaru as she tried to relax her body in complete submission.

Sesshomaru stared at the neck barred before him. His beast still wanted more maybe another nip or two but was at least appeased enough for Sesshomaru to be able to reign in his beast. Placing Kagome back on the floor and stepping back Sesshomaru closed his eyes and took a few calming breaths. When they opened again his eyes were back to their normal color with the exception of a little pink around the edges.

Turning away from Kagome once more Sesshomaru called over his shoulder, "Come."

Kagome's body was in motion before her brain had registered what Sesshomaru had said. She hung her head down in shame as she followed him. Kagome knew she had been pushing her limits but she did not expect Sesshomaru to pull rank. Biting her lip Kagome continued to follow Sesshomaru outside to the main courtyard in silence mentally cursing herself the whole way.

Why had she acted like that? No matter how upset she was Kagome knew better than to push Sesshomaru so far. She definitely owed him an apology.

Sesshomaru stopped and held out his hand to Kagome. After a sight hesitation Kagome put her own hand into his larger one only to be pulled in close. Summoning his youkai Sesshomaru then flew them off toward the mountains.

**oOOo**

As they flew Sesshomaru turned over the events from last night and today in his mind. He had noticed Kagome's hesitation and it pained him. He should not have gotten so angry with her. Kagome had always been willful and though she had matured greatly over the years she was and still would forever be a spitfire.

It was one of the things he loved about her but Sesshomaru could not let the challenge Kagome had unknowing issued go. Still, he should have handled it a little better. Sesshomaru continued to think over everything as they continued their flight in silence, Leila's words still ringing in the Inu's troubled mind.

"_Yes as her alpha you could order Kagome to tell you and it might work my Lord, but I would not suggest it. You just may end up doing more harm than good. This is a matter of the heart and as such you need to speak to her heart with your own that is the only sure way."_

**_oOOo_**

Sesshomaru knew what he had to do. He himself had heard the truth in Leila's words as soon as they passed her lips, but it still did not mean it would be easy.

Back when Sesshomaru had accepted his feelings for Kagome and made his decision to pursue her he knew it would entail opening up far past what he had ever done. He also knew he would be in uncharted waters way past his comfort zone but that did not mean a part of him didn't still fight against the uncertainty of it all.

Leaving himself open and vulnerable even if it was Kagome was much harder for the Demon Lord than it would be to fall on his own sword. Yet, he loved the woman next to him with fierceness that if he was to admit the truth was all consuming and unsettling almost to the point of causing panic. He would not let her slip away from him now.

As they landed in a meadow Kagome took a step away from him and looked around. She could not remember ever being in this particular groove. Sesshomaru had started walking and once Kagome noticed she hurried to catch up. He led her to a cleverly concealed cave at the base of the mountain. Still not sure whether trying to talk to him now or waiting would be best Kagome decided to keep her mouth shut. She would wait and take her cues from Sesshomaru before she said anything as he was obviously still very pissed.

As she looked around the cave Kagome noticed a fire already burning and furs and cushions stacked against the far wall. It was obvious he had already been to the cave earlier to prepare it but Kagome could not figure out his motives.

Turning around to face her for the first time since they landed Sesshomaru finally spoke.

"If you continue down towards the left you will find a small spring in which to wash. There are already clean clothes in there. I will go to find dinner." As fast as he had faced her Sesshomaru then turned away and left, only stopping long enough to put up a barrier outside of the cave.

Still not sure what was going on Kagome went to wash up, as much as she loved to bathe she really wasn't in the mood but she had been obstinate enough for the day. When Kagome retuned Sesshomaru had already put a nice size rabbit on the spit and it was almost ready. Sesshomaru did not look up at her as she sat opposite him only continued to watch the rabbit over the fire.

Kagome could not take the silence. Her curiosity was getting the better of her and she still had yet to apologize. She had tried to stay silent but it wasn't working.

"Look Sesshomaru, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to challenge you it's just that I was already having a bad day and then I couldn't leave and the blood, and…."

"Apology accepted Kagome," Sesshomaru said suddenly cutting her off. Sesshomaru met her eyes over the fire and Kagome was rendered speechless at the emotions she could see swirling in his eyes.

"Just don't do it again. That, however is not the reason I have brought you here. We must talk, now. Away from the castle and anyone who might hear what it is you and I discuss today."

"I have given you ample time to come to me on your own concerning you night terrors and you have chosen not to. I have even attempted to broach the subject with you yet you refuse to even discuss this with me," Sesshomaru stated.

Kagome instantly tensed up as she realized where the conversation was heading. She had been afraid he would want to discuss this.

Continuing Sesshomaru said in a soft voice, "I am not commanding you tell me as your alpha, but I am asking as your friend Kagome. Last night you had another night terror and I could not get you to wake. After a time the only way I was able to get through to you was to assert my dominance as your alpha."

Understanding what he was saying Kagome lifted a hand to touch the sore spot on her neck.

"I did not mean to bite you so hard, the wound was unintentional." Sesshomaru stated as he answered the question in her eyes.

Kagome was suddenly so overcome with sadness and weariness that her shoulders slumped and her eyes started to burn. Tears she thought had been in check started to run down her checks as Kagome thought over what had been plaguing her all this time. How could she tell him? Kagome didn't even know if she would be able to say the words out loud.

Meanwhile Sesshomaru had been paying close attention to Kagome's expressions. He picked up the change in her aura immediately and smelled the salty bitterness of her tears. Letting out a deep breath Sesshomaru steeled himself and then spoke in a strong voice.

"I hated them all."

Kagome was so distraught that it took a moment for her to register that he had spoken. Blinking rapidly, the action causing more tears to coarse down her face, Kagome scrunched up her brows in confusion as Sesshomaru's words registered in her brain. Turning her head to the side Kagome looked over at the Taiyoukai and studied his profile. She was not sure if he was talking to her or just speaking out loud. By the far off look in his eyes Kagome doubted Sesshomaru even realized he had spoken aloud.

That was until Sesshomaru spoke again as he turned to face her. Kagome gasped at the look in his eyes. Never before had she even seen the stoic Taiyoukai with such an open expression on his face. She could clearly read the anger in those cold and beautiful eyes. It was a fire that burned brighter than any Kagome had ever witnessed and though it scared her a deeper part of her was moved by it. It was not just the anger but the pain, and scariest of all vulnerability, something that Kagome could hardly believe she was seeing that had no place on Sesshomaru's face whatsoever, she was witnessing in his expression that resonated with her.

Suddenly the need to comfort him was overwhelming and not being able to fight it Kagome reached out for him with a trembling hand, his last words still ringing in her ears.

"All I wanted to do was to kill each one in the most painful way possible."

**Alright guys that's it for now I hope you enjoyed. Some of you might have noticed Sesshomaru speech changed and he is again talking in the third person. This will not continue but the way I figured it was like he learned over time to speak in the first person but when incredibly pissed he would revert back to the manner of speaking he had for centuries. I hope this clears up any confusion. Until next time ^_^.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Her Heart's Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Note: Flashback is in bold.**

**Thank you again everyone for the enormous support I have received for this story. I just realized this has been nominated for best Kagome portrayal and I am truly humbled. Thank you all so much.**

**Chapter 20 I'll Tell You Mine**

"All I wanted to do was to kill each one in the most painful way possible."

Not sure what she should do Kagome waited to see if Sesshomaru would either elaborate or just not say anything further on the matter. As they sat in silence Kagome could not help but fidget. A weird heaviness had settled in the middle of her chest. It was not something she could ever recall feeling before. The heaviness felt hot making her feel like she needed to ice cold water to make the heat go away and there was also a twinge of apprehension.

As Kagome took a sideways glance at Sesshomaru it got worse. Along with the deep sorrow and regret that Kagome could sense coming off of him there was also his expression. Sesshomaru's face was open for a moment. It was as if he was having such a hard time controlling his emotions that his mask had slipped unknowingly. Maybe she didn't need to hear the rest after all; anything that could make the calm and collected Taiyoukai like this was not something she really needed to hear.

"I don't know who I hated the most my sire, Inuyasha, or those few servants closet to my sire that helped keep his secret," Sesshomaru said as he turned to face Kagome. The myriad of emotions she saw on his face coupled with eyes that were slowly bleeding red was enough to startle Kagome. No she didn't think that Sesshomaru would hurt her but everything in her told Kagome to run. That she should not continue this conversation. It was not until Sesshomaru's hand shot out to grab her own shaking hand that presently hovered above his shoulder and pulled her closer that Kagome noticed she had been slowly inching further away from him.

"I do not think I even started to completely let go until the passing of Rin. I had always planned on her mating a youkai so that she would stay at my side. When she chose a human I was completely against it but would not deny her. Her happiness was more important than anything to me." Sesshomaru said as he turned back towards the fire unseeing.

Kagome was torn. That foreboding feeling was still increasing but on the other hand Sesshomaru obviously had something important he wanted to say. Then there was the mention of Rin. Kagome had been very careful to avoid bringing up that name. She remembered Rin's passing and knew it had been very hard on Sesshomaru.

She and Inuyasha had come to the castle and stayed for a month to make sure everything ran smoothly in his absence. After the ceremony Sesshomaru had not moved. He stood there staring at her grave in a trance as his youkai swirled around him like a barrier barring anyone from getting too close.

Kagome went to go to Sesshomaru but Inuyasha stopped her saying he needed time. Inuyasha assured her that once he had some time alone first then it would be o.k. to go to him. The old Kagome would have pulled away from Inuyasha insisting to go to him but she was older now and not quite as rambunctious as she once had been.

She had never got her chance, however, as the Taiyoukai disappeared shortly after. After a month Sesshomaru had returned but refused to speak about Rin. Knowing the pain Sesshomaru was in everyone just left him alone and did not broach the subject. That had been over seventy years ago but she was still surprised that Sesshomaru had willing brought it up. Kagome shifted around to get more comfortable as she waited in silence for him to continue. The fact that Sesshomaru was still holding tight to her wrist did not faze her as much as Kagome thought it would. She simply relaxed in his hold and waited. Being the selfless person Kagome had always been she would not put her discomfort before a friend in need so she ignored the continuing twinge in her chest. Kagome would also admit that although she didn't know quite where this was heading, she felt honored that he had chosen her to open up to once again.

oOOo

Sesshomaru was trying very hard to control himself. He had decided he would broach the subject with Kagome but had not realized how much it would hurt even now. The loss of his own pup had been enough to drive him insane. Never one to let others get close lest they leave you, as first his mother and then his sire did, left him unprepared for the feeling of loss that had threatened to overwhelm him.

When his mother passed though it was hard to bear he understood that was how life was. Loved ones leave you in death whether from old age or in battle. It was then that his sire really started to spend more time with him and they helped each other to get through the pain.

No his parent's mating was not one that was based on love but rather for political reasons but over the hundreds of years they had spent together they had grown to care for each other and had become great friends. From his observations they had come to love each other in their own way, maybe it was not the intense burning feelings he had for the woman at his side but love none the less.

Then his sire had started disappearing, first only at night but then at all hours. Though he still spent the majority of time with Sesshomaru he was a little distant. Not giving any real thought over it since he could not sense anything in his aura or manner that something was wrong Sesshomaru gave his sire the space he obviously needed and did not mention his outings. After all before the loss of his mother his sire was off in some sort of battle or negotiation. Now that much time had passed and they were fine it would stand to reason things go back as they had been.

Without a Lady of the West to keep things in order in his absence his sire had just made sure his trips were shorter and that he stayed closer to his lands.

Never had Sesshomaru expected the real reason for his sire's disappearances and when he had Sesshomaru lost it. That was probably the most viscous battle Sesshomaru had ever been in.

**Flashback**

**Toga had just come back from seeing the woman he now thought of as his real love. Yes he had cared for his former mate but never had he ever thought he could ever feel like this. In the Youkai world of Lords and Ladies there was no such thing as mating for love. It was always building alliances and obtaining more power, if you were lucky you at least ended up good friends as it had been with him and his mate.**

**This was something completely different however, Toga felt like a young pup again. Izayoi was so full of life and so different than any other woman he had met up to now. The obvious difference was she was human but even her manner was different. As he walked along the corridors heading for his private baths Toga was so deep in thought he had forgotten to mask his scent.**

**Toga had not even realized it until he looked up to see Sesshomaru standing in front of him, his lips curled in a snarl as the change started to overcome him.**

**oOOo**

**Sesshomaru had picked up Toga's aura although it was muted somewhat and headed in that general direction. He did not want to seem too eager but had come to look forward to the extra time they spent together. He craved his father's approval and through all the extra training and strategy games he felt he was able to do just that.**

**He rushed to his father's side following his aura as it had steadily gotten stronger. Once he was but a few hundred feet away however, Sesshomaru stopped. Scenting the air Sesshomaru picked up the distinct odor of a nigen female mixed in with his father's scent. Normally it would not have registered for his father was always roaming his lands and often stepped in to help anyone whether demon or nigen. Some nigen would even invite him to sit at their tables offering him some of their best livestock and occasionally he would oblige but this was different.**

**Not only did he reek of a nigen female but of sex. If that was not bad enough his expression and the guilt and resignation he was giving off were all the answers Sesshomaru needed. Snarling as his beast took over Sesshomaru more growled than yelled, "Betrayer!" as he charged his father head on.**

**Toga seeing his son charge let himself transform and went low catching Sesshomaru on his underside. He then flipped him over and sent him crashing through the wall and out into the grounds. This was going to be messy and he would like to at least keep his castle intact.**

**Growling Toga tried to assert his dominance and get Sesshomaru to calm down but his pup was too enraged and out for blood. Setting his shoulders in determination Toga squared off with Sesshomaru. He regretted Sesshomaru finding out as he did, it had been his hope to talk to the boy and ease him into the idea of him taking another mate but it was not to be. **

**End Flashback**

"I was a vicious and bloody battle. My sire won but not by much. After that I kept my distance. I could not believe he would have the audacity disgrace my mother's memory and then the rumors started spreading amongst the Youkai court. My sire was a great and powerful ruler and yet he became a demon to be mocked and jeered. It was then that the dragons decided to attack seeing his choices as a sign of weakness.

Inu demons as you know mate for life. My sire being in the position he was in could have mated again but it would again have to be for political reasons like strengthen the West. The time of mourning also should have been observed, for a demon of his stature it would have been at least another century. In the mean time it would have been acceptable to make use of concubines.

But all he kept spouting to me was some nonsense about love. In my eyes then what he spoke of was of no consequence. There was no other but the one. How he could find comfort in another's arm was beyond me, a rut I could understand but not that. Once you had that one mate or one love as he called it that was it. There was no other ever, but I was still young then. Only a century old, I did not understand and then soon after he died. He chose a bastard child over his heir. Unacceptable!" Sesshomaru spit out as if his own words were too much to stomach that he needed to vomit them out.

Kagome was openly crying again now. For the young Sesshomaru that felt lost and abandoned, for the one presently with her that had overcome so many demons, for the pain she could feel in hear in his voice as he shared another piece of his life.

"You know the most of the rest but this. I mentioned Rin and that was because of this. The pain I felt with her passing was almost as much as I felt with what I saw as my father's betrayal. But after much thought I would still love again. I would still want another pup some day. I realized that pup would not take the place of Rin, for it never could, but even I have enough love for more than just one pup. That was what helped to put many of my old demons to rest and to finally forgive my sire once and for all. That is something I want you to keep in mind Kagome."

Kagome sat there in silence as she fought hard to suppress the tears that would not cease. It seemed every time she got herself together she would just start up all over again. She briefly wondered just how many tears the human body could shed when she noticed the smell of something burning. Shaking her head slightly in wonder over how she had forgotten the rabbits Kagome tried to dislodge her hand from his. When Sesshomaru still refused to let go Kagome hesitantly spoke in a low voice.

"Sesshomaru the rabbits."

Sesshomaru still did not acknowledge her and Kagome wondered if he heard her at all or if he was still lost in his own thoughts as he continued to sit staring through the fire. Kagome was about to speak again when Sesshomaru loosened his grip enough for Kagome to wriggle out.

She quickly removed the now inedible rabbits and sat them on the side. Not that it really mattered Kagome didn't think she could eat now if her life depended on it. She then returned to sit beside Sesshomaru once more this time not at all shocked when he once again pulled her closer to him as he wrapped his arm around her waist.

Understanding the need of psychical comfort especially for Inus Kagome relaxed against him as she rested her head against Sesshomaru's shoulder and waited for him once again to speak.

Sesshomaru was silent as he tried to once again get control over his raging emotions. Tightening his hold on Kagome he concentrated on her soothing smell and feeling the rhythm of her heartbeat and breathing. Slowly he was able to center himself enough to speak once more.

"Do you know why I have told you all of this?" he asked still looking through the fire.

When he felt Kagome shake her head against his shoulder Sesshomaru continued.

"We are pack Kagome. There should be no secrets among us. Secrets cause rifts, they hinder relationships, they can kill." Taking a deep breath Sesshomaru continued.

"I have asked you to reveal one of your most coveted secrets and yet until now have offered none of my own in return. How can I expect you to trust me with yours if I do not do the same?"

Moving her head slightly to look at him Kagome insisted, "I do trust you Sesshomaru. It's not that."

"Hn," Sesshomaru said with a bitter smirk on his face. "I know you do but not fully. The kind of trust I want from you is that of two souls who know each other. Who can trust and be trusted unconditionally. I cannot expect that from you if you do not know all of me."

Turning slightly to look into Kagome's upturned face Sesshomaru used his free hand to tuck a stray hair behind Kagome's ear. Locking eyes with hers he then traced the side of her face down to her jaw ever mindful of his claws.

"I would have you know all of me as I would like to know all of you. I will not judge."

Kagome was speechless for what felt like the hundredth time that day. The softness in his voice coupled with the emotions on his face that was open for her to see and interpret was almost too much for Kagome to bear. Not only had he shared something so personal and closely guarded with her but Sesshomaru had done everything but beg for her to confide in him. For him that was saying something.

He had said he would not judge and Kagome had known that truth before he had even spoken it. Maybe it would be okay to tell just him, out here where no one else would hear. Carrying this burden alone for so long was so hard and Kagome was so very tired.

It reminded her of a book they had read in their English class once when they were first learning. Starting off they read children's books until they got the hang of the language and the teacher had been very fond of Dr. Seuss. Kagome could not recall the book now but one phrase stood out like a beacon in the darkness. _I've never been so tired since I can't remember when._ Yes, that phrase summed up all of her at this particular time.

Kagome closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she sat up. She didn't move from beside Sesshomaru but just scooted over a bit.

Sesshomaru sensing she needed space loosened his hold once again without completely letting go. He would offer her his silent support for the time being until it was evident she needed more.

Bowing her head as she looked at her hands balled up in fists on her lap Kagome finally spoke in a soft and shaky tone.

"My nightmare is about what I first told you happened with my wish on the Jewel of Four Souls," Kagome started.

**ooOOOOooo**

**Alright everyone I need to end it here. I wanted to make sure I got this out as soon as possible because of the way I left the last chapter. Also I will not put the nightmare in again. I have already had it in three chapters I think that is enough. If you disagree then let me know and I will stick it in there. Sorry it is still a bit of a cliffy but I am working away at the next chapter and hopefully it won't be too long before I finish with that one. For me the story seems to flow better if I stick to no more than a few pages at a time, I'm weird like that but know that Kagome's explanation will definitely be in the next chapter. I hope you all liked this one and as always reviews and criticism are always welcome.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Her Hearts Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Chapter 21 Secrets Revealed**

"But then it changes and suddenly Midriko turns into this hideous rabid wolf creature with glowing red eyes that rips my heart out. I know that is not what happened but at the time it feels so real and when I wake there is still pain in the spot Midriko put her hand through. It fades in a few moments but the point is that it is there. That's not even the worse part though. The part that kills me is what she says.

She said that there was no hope, that it is the will of the Kamis that I would spend the rest of my life alone watching the world change and move on with me," Kagome said softly, her voice cracking in an effort to keep her emotions in check.

Sesshomaru sat there quietly absorbing everything Kagome had told him and thinking over what the meanings could be and that is when he smelled it. The strong scent of guilt assaulted his senses making him wrinkle his nose in distaste.

"Kagome?" Sesshomaru asked in a voice softer than normal. "What is it that makes you feel so guilty?"

Kagome closed her eyes for a moment. Her first thought was how would he know and then of course it hit her making Kagome want to smack her forehead. Of course he would know his nose was probably one of the most, if not the most, sensitive of any demons.

Kagome's second thought had been to deny, deny, deny but Sesshomaru would know she was lying. She took a few more calming breaths before answering. She really was ready to let the subject drop but it was too late for that now. The door had been opened. She had decided to confide in him and she would not stop because the questions kept getting harder.

In a low voice that even the Taiyoukai almost missed Kagome finally answered, "Maybe because I am still here and he's gone. If he had to die why do I get to live on year after year, century after century, is that really fair?"

"Hn, it has been my observation that life has never meant to be fair." Sesshomaru stated.

"I know it's just that everything seemed to go so wrong. Maybe I made the wrong wish. Midriko was right there and she did everything but come right out and ask me 'Kagome are you sure this is the wish you want to make?' Like a fool I said yes and here I am doomed to spend eternity alone protecting this stupid jewel until the next unlucky person is ready for it. Arrg! I was so stupid," Kagome finished punching her leg in frustration.

Sesshomaru nodded, it was as he thought. "The wish you made is the one that made the jewel disappear. It was pure and unselfish. What other wish do you think could have done the same?" Sesshomaru asked.

"And what of my brother? (The half part Sesshomaru had dropped at least a couple of decades ago.) Do you think Inuyasha would feel the same? Do you think he would want you not to go on because his time was at an end?" Sesshomaru hated to add the last part but Kagome obviously was not thinking clearly.

She had been so wrapped up in her grief concentrating on what had been lost that Kagome wasn't thinking about what she still had and could still gain. She might be offended but Kagome needed to hear it all the same, "And what about your pup? How would he have fared without you being there for him?"

At the mention of Shippo Kagome's eyes widened in surprise. How could she have forgotten about her son? Sure he would have been taken in by Sesshomaru as they were pack but that was not the point. If she were no longer around she would never have seen him grow into the handsome young demon he was today.

Kagome's heart hurt just thinking about what Shippo would have gone through if he had lost her too. Shippo had a hard enough time dealing with Inuyasha's death. How could she have been so selfish?

Sesshomaru could sense the different emotions Kagome's aura was giving off and he was pleased. Now he could tell she was really thinking about everything in perspective. Even concerning the jewel, Kagome might be irritated right now about it but her sense of duty would not have let there even be a chance the jewel was not protected and fall into the wrong hands. She had merely been wallowing in despair; hopefully this would be the push she needed. He gave her a few minutes to process everything and then continued. While she was on the right track this was the time to continue what he had needed to do for so long.

"Over time I got to know Inuyasha as a brother but even before then it was plain for anyone to see how much he loved you. I think he would want only happiness for you." Sesshomaru stated.

Her eyes lowered as they once again overflowed with tears Kagome stated, "I know he loved me and I loved him. On his death bed he told me I should move on but," Kagome said as she locked frantic eyes on his calm ones, "he couldn't have meant that. Inuyasha was always thinking of me first. He probably just thought it would make me feel better about living without him."

Shaking his head Sesshomaru countered, "You loved Inuyasha did you not?"

Highly offended by his question Kagome got defensive, "Of course I loved him. Isn't that what this whole thing has been about?"

"Kagome, calm down and listen. If you were to be suddenly attacked and stabbed through with a sword would you wish Inuyasha there with you too sharing the same sword thrust or would you want him as far away from harm as possible?"

Holding her gaze Sesshomaru continued, "If you were the one that died would you wish Inuyasha to end his days as well or to move on and if so would you want him to spend the rest of his days mourning you or being happy?"

Sesshomaru watched as Kagome grew angrier by the minute over Sesshomaru's questioning what she saw as his disregard for the deep love she had for his brother.

Eyes alight with indignation Kagome spat out, "Of course I would want him to be happy and move on. Do you even know me at all? If you did you would not ask me such a thing. Never question my love for him."Kagome almost shouted not caring about the demon's sensitive hearing.

Fighting the small smirk that threatened to grace his features Sesshomaru answered calmly, "I have never questioned your love for him nor his love for you. Think about it Kagome, if you feel this strongly about it why would you think he wouldn't as well. Why would you doubt his wish for you to move on?"

Kagome's anger instantly drained away as she realized what Sesshomaru's whole point had been. Looking up at him sheepishly Kagome could tell he understood her earlier reaction and did not hold it against her.

Nodding to let her know he understood Sesshomaru looked deeply into Kagome's eyes.

"I know it won't be easy but it is time to move on Kagome. Right now you have one foot in the past and one in the present and you cannot continue as such. Little by little you will break down, it will destroy you. You have your pup and many other people who need you right here." Sesshomaru said tenderly.

Embracing Kagome Sesshomaru leaned in and placed a lingering kiss in her forehead. As he pulled back Sesshomaru once again locked eyes with Kagome, allowing her to see the feelings swirling in his golden depths. Sesshomaru then added, "You might have to be the guardian for the jewel for another year or even another millennia but do not think it has to be alone. You are only alone if you choose to be. There are many that would be honored to have you at their side, including myself. Think about it."

Sesshomaru then rose gracefully and headed toward the entrance to the cave. Calling over his shoulder Sesshomaru spoke again bringing Kagome out of her stupor, "I am going out to hunt for something to replace the rabbits."And with that Sesshomaru was gone leaving Kagome to ponder over his words. Speechless Kagome could do nothing but stare at his retreating back.

Kagome didn't know what to do she felt as though someone had punched her in the stomach and knocked all the wind out of her. Images and flashes of looks, and smiles that her brain had refused to register before were now chasing each other around in her head to the point that Kagome put her hands on the sides of her head in an effort to get some control.

This was too much. She couldn't think about this now or it would drive her crazy. Deciding the best point of action would be another bath Kagome headed in that direction. She spent a long time sitting in the warm relaxing water staring out into nothing as she made little ripples with her fingers in the water.

Finally after she resembled an overgrown pale prune Kagome got out and dressed. Walking back into the main area she could see that it had gotten dark. Apparently time had gotten away from her but did it really matter right now. Her mind was still racing but at least it had slowed a bit. Her exhaustion had finally jumped on her with both feet and Kagome was glad of it for she had a feeling if it hadn't she would be spending a long night in thought.

Sesshomaru had returned and was now currently sitting at the fire turning what looked like pieces of deer on the spit. His only acknowledgement to her was a brief nod before he once again lowered his eyes to the food cooking. Kagome sat opposite Sesshomaru shifting in the uncomfortable silence. Once the meat was done Sesshomaru offered Kagome a plate that she took gratefully. Not really hungry Kagome took the plate and started eating mechanically, nothing more than to keep her hands busy.

Once she finished Sesshomaru took her plate and stated, "It is late and you have had a long day. Sleep, we will talk again in the morning."

Nodding silently Kagome lay out her bedding and got in her sleeping bag. After some maneuvering Kagome finally found a comfortable spot but sleep still would not come. There was one thing that kept bothering her that Kagome felt she had to know right now or she would burst.

"Sesshomaru," she called softly as she looked over at him.

Shaking his head he answered, "Sleep Kagome. There is plenty of time for questions and answers but for now enough has been said."

"Please," Kagome begged trying not to sound too desperate.

Sesshomaru however, picked up the feelings in her plea as well as her aura and sighed softly. "One question and then you sleep."

Kagome was quiet for a long time. Sesshomaru had hoped she had fallen asleep though he could tell from her breathing that she was still very much awake and distressed. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything so soon. He just couldn't help it. Sesshomaru had finally reached the end of his renowned patience; he couldn't keep it to himself anymore.

Brought out of his revelries but a spike in her scent Sesshomaru braced himself for Kagome's question. He was oddly anxious especially since she did not always follow the same thought pattern as those he would consider 'normal'.

Kagome, finally finding her voice asked, "Is that why you started keeping your distance?"

"Yes," Sesshomaru answered.

A little more hesitantly as if she was asking him to tell her one of life's biggest conundrums. "Did…Did Inuyasha know."

Sesshomaru did not want to go into this now. It had been his hope that she would sleep on it. After some sleep and a little time put between his confession maybe she would feel o.k. with it. No he didn't expect her cling to him and suddenly make declarations of love, though he would not be opposed to that either, but Sesshomaru had hoped she would at least keep an open mind, especially since she had gotten to know him much better.

Technically he could refuse to answer right now since he said one question but he would not refuse her. Apparently she needed to know and it couldn't wait if the anxiousness he was reading in her aura was any indication.

Nodding Sesshomaru spoke with an amused glint in his eyes. "Yes, but he knew I would never challenge him on the mating and that I would never dishonor you or him in any way. He merely said, _**'Keh, I'm not surprised who wouldn't fall in love with the wench, just remember she's mine."**_ Sesshomaru said in a very Inuyasha like manner, much to Kagome's surprise.

After looking at him for a few moments without saying anything Kagome nodded and then proceeded to close her eyes. Had it been anyone lesser they would have squirmed under Kagome's scrutinizing gaze. Sesshomaru wanted to but would not allow himself. Whatever Kagome had been looking for however, she must have found for she then nodded, put her head down and closed her eyes.

After few minutes when it was clear that she was well on her way to sleep Sesshomaru finally let out the breath he had been holding. His fear of her rejecting him had Sesshomaru as uncertain as a new born pup. Again, as he had done many times over the years, he had to give Inuyasha lots of credit. He was even braver than Sesshomaru had realized. He had been where Sesshomaru now was and had put his heart out there, bore her scrutiny and triumphed. Sesshomaru's last thought was 'Wow so this is some of what you went through' before he closed his own eyes and surrendered to some much needed sleep.

**ooooOOooo**

**Aright everyone tell me what you think. I know it took longer than I originally stated but I could not get this chapter like I wanted it. This is my third revision and I am still not quite satisfied. Hopefully you all will like it. Until next time. (^_^)**


	22. Chapter 22

**Her Hearts Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Chapter 22 An Awkward Pause**

The next day went on as if nothing had ever happened. Kagome slept in and when she woke Sesshomaru handed her a plate with left over deer meat that had been made into jerky and some fruits and berries. After thanking him Kagome began to munch on her fruit as she exchanged pleasantries with Sesshomaru.

They talked about many general things but it was clear that she was more reserved than usual. Kagome did feel a little more rested since the nightmares did not come back, but her mind was still racing over the previous day's revelations. As the day wore on they still did not speak about what had occurred but that did not stop Kagome from thinking about all of it.

Now that Kagome actually let herself think everything over and really see the things that had been going on right in front of her this whole time things fell into place. Little things she paid no attention to earlier now were the small pieces of the puzzle that at first glance look so insignificant. That is until you put them in and watch them bridge the gaps and bring the whole puzzle together to form one large picture. It was if she was now looking at everything with new eyes, though of course she felt like a complete and utter idiot for not seeing it before. How was it that she hadn't noticed the many signs and hints she had been given? Suddenly it felt as if she had been walking around with blinders on and now that they had been removed she could see everything and it was now that comprehension was setting in.

Finishing up her fruit Kagome then tried the meat.

"Mmmm." Kagome said as she took a bite into the dried meat. You used some of my spices I see, excellent. But, Sesshomaru isn't this the same deer meat from yesterday?" At his nod Kagome then asked, "When did you have time to dry out the meat?"

"Remember I do not require as much sleep as you do." Sesshomaru answered slyly a hint of teasing in his voice.

"Yes but I went to sleep last night there was no sun to dry the meat so how could you do such a thing so fast. Leaving it out to dry without sun would do but it would take much longer. Is it some kind of youkai magic? Could you teach me? If so that would be awesome. I mean, yes we usually stay at the castle and I always bring supplies when we travel but that would definitely come in handy. Plus you never know what you're going to need."

Sesshomaru couldn't help the smirk that spread across his face as Kagome unknowingly stroked his ego. He held his hand up in a gesture to silence her since he could feel Kagome's excitement levels rise. She had also begun to ramble as she thought over the endless possibilities of such a thing. Once he was sure she was paying attention Sesshomaru spoke, "Kagome there was no magic or secret art used. I merely stretched them out in the sun to dry."

Kagome listened and tried to process what he said but it was not making any sense. Something was missing. Tilting her head slightly in confusion Kagome asked, "But there was no sun so how did you do it Sesshomaru?"

Smirking wider Sesshomaru stated, "There was no sun _here _Kagome. There is always sun as you being as educated as you are should well know." He couldn't help but tease her slightly as he was indeed proud of himself. How many other males would fly around the world just to provide their future mates with dried meats upon waking?

Kagome still was not getting it. Going over what he said again in her mind Kagome's eyes widened as understanding set in. Her first thought was that Sesshomaru's thoughtfulness knew no bounds. She couldn't believe he would go through so much just because she liked beef, or in this case deer, jerky.

A little voice in the back of her mind spoke up then saying that that is what mates do for one another, especially inu mates. Kagome quickly silenced that voice as she could only handle so many new revelations at once.

Returning to the thought of the jerky itself Kagome's second thought was that if he was going to go through all that trouble he could have gotten her some eggs or a delicacy from another part of the world. He could have just waited the extra day for the jerky to be ready.

Then, mentally smacking herself for being selfish and momentarily forgetting the grandness of his gesture Kagome locked eyes with the Taiyoukai and smiling gave her thanks.

The rest of the day went on without a hitch as they talked and enjoyed each others company. It was like they were in a holding pattern that neither was willing to break so they both were sure to keep the conversation light staying away from certain topics.

As the night wore on Kagome's eyes steadily started to droop. Having no intentions what so ever of fighting sleep since she was finally sleeping well for a change Kagome left to do her nightly ritual.

A half hour later she came back feeling refreshed, though still sleepy. Kagome got herself comfortable within her bedding and looked over at the silent Taiyoukai. Ignoring the nervous butterflies within her stomach Kagome stated.

"Sesshomaru, I need to see Inuyasha tomorrow will you take me. I don't mind going on my own but I thought maybe you could get me there faster if you don't mind."

"Of course I do not mind Kagome, we will leave in the morning. Rest now."

Gracing him with one last smile Kagome bid Sesshomaru a good night and then closed her eyes.

**oOo**

For his part Sesshomaru tried to be nonchalant about the whole thing careful to give Kagome her space. It took every ounce of self control he had however as his beast was howling and spitting in disgust and rage. Now that said female knew of their feelings, which was the whole purpose of this waiting thing, it didn't understand Sesshomaru's lack of action. The Taiyoukai had always been one to take care of any problem or matter that needed his attention so what was wrong with him now. How could he sit there acting as if all were right in the world when their future mate was yet to be marked?

The only things that helped to hold his beast at bay were the things he had been doing for Kagome. The cured meat was a big thing. His need to prove his worth was almost overwhelming, though he knew Kagome would not judge him harshly if he did not do extra since he had proven time and time again his superior skills that would make him a fine mate. It didn't matter in this case however, his instincts were in overdrive. So what better way to show off? He had travelled at mind numbing speeds to get to the other side of the world where the sun was still shinning in order to dry and make the jerky he knew for a fact was one of Kagome's favorites.

Even though the was no official courtship at the present time, Sesshomaru going out and not only collecting food for Kagome but preparing it as well was enough of the courting rituals to keep his beast sated for now. That and the images Sesshomaru kept conjuring up of them alone for the rest of their days because the miko had been scared away.

That was when he decided that he needed to burn off some pent up frustration. After watching Kagome sleep for a few more minutes, tracing the curves of her body presently hiding under the sleeping bag with his eyes ,Sesshomaru left in search of some much needed relief.

**oOO The Next Morning OOo**

Kagome woke in degrees feeling well rested. As she looked around Kagome could tell by the shadows across the cave walls that it must be late afternoon. Smiling a bit as she stretched Kagome looked around and noticed Sesshomaru was missing in action. Shrugging Kagome got up and started to get ready for the day, however much of it that was left anyway. After she finished Kagome went over to the low table in the corner and grabbed a piece of fruit. Using the other hand to pull the last of the tangles out of her damp hair Kagome then went in search of Sesshomaru.

Easily following his youkai signature Kagome walked along the trail that led around the mountainside. Rounding the corner Kagome saw Sesshomaru standing in the middle of many fallen trees going through what was one of the most intricate and involved katas Kagome had ever seen. His hair pulled up in a high ponytail Sesshomaru was dressed in his regular pants but his chest was only covered by a simple juban. His face was a mask of concentration as he went through the steps, his sword swinging effortlessly as he stabbed and beheaded many invisible foes. By the light sheen of sweat that covered him Kagome guessed he had been out here for quite a while.

As she stood there watching Sesshomaru's beautiful but deadly dance Kagome noticed how muscled Sesshomaru was. She knew that of course but without the outer garments you could really see the definition that was usually hidden under all those layers. Noticing how the different muscles relaxed and tightened with his movements Kagome could not find it in her to tear her eyes away. Pale and glistening she watched Sesshomaru's skill and precise movements admiring his flexibility.

As she continued to watch Kagome kept seeing different flashes of Sesshomaru's body go through her mind. Before she thought nothing of the fact that they had been in close quarters several times but now with all the new information she now was starting to see things in a different light. Her brain going where it shouldn't be going Kagome tried to force down the blush that was steadily staining her cheeks and stomp down the stirrings in her lower belly as she continued to watch him.

On his end Sesshomaru had to clamp down on the satisfying smirk that kept threatening to grace his features as he noticed Kagome's reaction to him. He knew he was desired by many and females often found him attractive. It was just a fact and usually meant nothing to Sesshomaru, but this particular female was an entirely different matter.

He had waited so long to be able to vie for her attention. To have her look at him in even the smallest way similar to the way she had often gazed at his brother. Yes, at this point in time life was good.

It was very rare that Kagome ever indulged in gawking at him and Sesshomaru could not help but feel great pride as well as happiness at the reaction Kagome's observance was causing her. Finishing up Sesshomaru sheathed his sword and headed over to the large boulder he had put the rest of his things on.

Grabbing up his garments Sesshomaru pulled his hair loose and used a small hand towel he had brought with him to blot some of the sweat off of his face and neck.

As he turned to face her Sesshomaru was once again amused as Kagome quickly broke off eye contact. It was like she had gotten caught watching something she shouldn't have. If only she knew. As far as Sesshomaru was concerned he was hers and had been for many years now. Kagome was welcome to look as long as she wanted. If it weren't for the fact that it would most likely scare her off Sesshomaru would put together a more appealing and intimate viewing for her pleasure. Sighing, Sesshomaru filed that idea away for a later time.

Taking in her expression Sesshomaru had to admit that Kagome was truly something else. It was funny though that she had been mated, had killed thousands of demons and ,from their talks of her time, had been exposed to much more than that from her T.V. and yet she was still so innocent. Sesshomaru doubted anything would ever kill that innocence and was glad for it.

Walking up to her Sesshomaru asked, "How are you feeling?"

Smiling Kagome responded, "Fine, I slept well though I did not mean to sleep so long. You should have woken me."

Walking past her Sesshomaru headed back towards the cave. Speaking over his shoulder Sesshomaru answered, "Apparently it was what your body needed. I wish to freshen up and then we can leave. Is that alright with you Kagome?"

"Hai," Kagome answered as she followed Sesshomaru back to the cave trying desperately to look at anything other than the striking figure in front of her.

**ooooooOOOoooooo**

**Until next time guys hope you like it. Don't forget to review and tell me what you think. All constructive criticism is welcome.**


	23. Chapter 23

**Her Hearts Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**I just have to say thank you again to everyone you guys so rock. The amount of comments and support I have gotten for this story is truly amazing. Thank you all for being so great. **

**Chapter 23 Final Goodbyes**

An hour later Sesshomaru landed close to Kagome's old hut. Removing his hand from around her waist Sesshomaru stepped back slightly to put more room between them. They still had not spoken of anything that went on but Sesshomaru took it as a good sign. The fact that Kagome had not flat out refused him spoke more than anything. Still he didn't want her to feel uncomfortable and wanted her to have the space she needed right now.

Giving her an understanding look Sesshomaru then said, "I will take my leave. When you are ready flare your reiki and I will come for you."

Kagome only nodded as she watched he turn and walk away. She stood there for a moment in indecision as she bit her lip. She had been so sure just moments ago and now Kagome wondered if she was ready for this. Closing her eyes as she took a deep breath, Kagome reigned in her emotions. She had not even gotten there yet and already she was an emotional wreck.

Now that she was once again focused Kagome turned and starting walking in the opposite direction Sesshomaru had gone. As she walked Kagome went over what she wanted to say. No, she didn't want a rehearsed speech but she also didn't want to be blubbering like an idiot either. Not that it really mattered he would understand, he knew her well.

As she walked her thoughts turned to Sesshomaru. Kagome was glad Sesshomaru was thoughtful enough to let her walk the last few minutes alone. She had a lot to say and would have felt a little awkward showing up with him in tow right now. She hadn't even asked him to do that and Kagome again had to admit his thoughtfulness and understanding toward her.

Coming up to the grave site Kagome smiled and greeted him.

"Hey Inu it's me," Kagome stated as she looked down at the beautiful headstone with Inuyasha's name engraved on it. There was not a blade of grass out of place and the headstone looked as if it had just been polished. It was always this way whenever Kagome came to visit. She knew Sesshomaru must have someone that came at least once a week to keep it manicured and perfect. At first she had been confused as she had expected to have a little work to do but now she was used to it.

Sitting down beside the grave Kagome then placed her hand over the spot she knew Inuyasha was. As her fingers gently trailed through the dirt and grass Kagome tucked her legs under her and started pouring out her heart.

"I've missed you so much. Sometimes it is if I can't breathe the pressure on me is so heavy. It has been so hard without you here and Shippo. My, you should see how much he's grown. He's a good boy too, you would be so proud of him."

Kagome stopped talking then as she tried to find the right words to say. Anyone looking at her from a distance would think she was completely at peace the way she sat there with a small smile. Her back braced against the headstone as her right hand trailed lovingly over the ground. How wrong they would be.

The thoughts and emotions swirling around in her head were utter chaos and the air around her was thick with sorrow. Kagome sat there like that until she realized the sun was setting. She knew she had gotten a late start but it couldn't be that late. Could it?

Kagome had been so lost in her thoughts she hadn't realized it had been hours instead of minutes that she had been sitting there. She couldn't even recall if she had been silent the whole time or had been talking. That was when her body started to let her know she had indeed been sitting in the same position for hours. Unfolding her now semi- numb legs, Kagome then leaned back and stretched as her muscles ached in protest. Her feet were doing that pins and needles thing so she wiggled her toes and flexed and un-flexed her feet to get the circulation going again.

It was now late and Kagome knew she should move but she couldn't. There were just too many things that were still left unsaid. She needed to do this and do it now. Rolling over on her side Kagome stretched out beside Inuyasha's grave and laid her hand in the spot she thought his heart would be if he were there in the flesh. As she stifled a yarn Kagome threw up a barrier and began speaking once more.

""I think I'll stay with you tonight Inu. You don't mind do you?" Kagome asked and then nodded as if she had received an answer. Suddenly the emotions she had thought were being kept in check came back to the forefront. Kagome's eyes started to sting as the first of many tears ran down her face and onto the earth.

"We had such dreams you and me. I wonder what happened to us, I feel like we didn't get even half of the things we planned done. Then again we always thought we had more time. What's a few hundred years to run around when you're looking at eternity? I guess the time just slipped away from us.

I have been thinking about the wish a lot lately too. Do you think I made the right decision? I know the wish had to be selfless but I can't help but wonder what would have happened if I had wished you had a longer lifespan or even become a full demon but still be in control.

What do you think? But we both know I wouldn't have done that. As much as a part of me would love to I couldn't damn the world and everything in it just to keep you.

You know for the longest time I have felt so guilty. I wondered if I have the right to be happy when you not with me. I have been thinking about all these crazy things but what I feel it boils down to is that I love you with every fiber of my being and I do not regret one moment, one argument. Whether we were together for two hundred years or two thousand I would not change a thing. The time we spent together will always be with me."

Smiling through her tears Kagome yarned again. As she lay there silently weeping for the love she had lost Kagome's eyes grew heavier until she fell off to sleep snuggling up to the body her mind wished with all her heart was there.

**ooOOoo**

Kagome woke with a start. Sitting up suddenly she looked around her looking for what woke her. As she scanned the trees and land around her Kagome saw nothing out of the ordinary but her mind was screaming that something wasn't right. She felt a chill as the hairs on the back of her neck stood at attention.

Kagome stood up with her fist to her sides as she again surveyed the area around her. She could sense no aura other than small animals around, yet someone or something was out there.

"Who's there?" She asked calmly as she adjusted her stance for battle.

Suddenly a heavy mist moved in from nowhere shrouding everything in shadows and mystery. Hearing movement behind her Kagome quickly turned around already on the defensive. That was until she saw who or what it was and then her hands dropped to her sides as her eyes widened in fear.

"No," Kagome all but whispered as she looked into the blood red eyes of the wolf demon that had haunted her dreams for so long.

It was not attacking but instead continued to eye her maliciously.

Swallowing hard as she tried to get a hold on herself Kagome finally asked the question that had been in the forefront of her mind.

"Who are you?" Kagome asked the thing as it started to circle her like a vulture.

With a deadly smile that almost matched the intensity of one of Sesshomaru's the rabid wolf demon thing laughed. The laugh was thick resembling a hacking cough rather than real laughter. The teeth that seemed to be too big for its mouth shined in the darkness as it said just three words.

"Don't you know?"

**ooOOoo**

**Sorry it's been so long guys' life has been hectic. I did warn that updates might be sporadic. I am working on the next chapter and hope to have it up by next week but there is no guarantee. I know what it is I want to say but when I put it down on paper it turns out all wrong. Hopefully I'll be able to get it together. Also, just wanted to clear something up. You might have noticed that Kagome is thinking about and referring to Inuyasha as if he is still living. Later she starts to speak of him in past tense. This is on purpose. All this time even though Kagome knows he is dead a part of her still hangs on to him as if he is just away and will come back someday. That is one of the biggest reasons she has not been able to move on. Once she says her final goodbye that is when she will start referring to him in past tense. **


	24. Chapter 24

**Her Hearts Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Last chapter**

"Who are you?" Kagome asked the thing as it started to circle her like a vulture.

With a deadly smile that almost matched the intensity of one of Sesshomaru's the rabid wolf demon thing laughed. The laugh was thick resembling a hacking cough rather than real laughter. The teeth that seemed to be too big for its mouth shined in the darkness as it said just three words.

"Don't you know?"

**Chapter 24 Revelations**

Shuttering from the chill that laugh gave her Kagome waited for an answer. After a few minutes of silence she decided to ask a simpler question.

"Where am I?" Kagome asked only to receive nothing but an evil glare.

Kagome however was not in the mood for cryptic messages. The thing in front of her was creepy enough in her dreams and now she was in a waking nightmare with it. In the nightmares she had never tried to use her powers because it would have been no use.

Kagome didn't know how she knew she just did. Now was no different, her powers couldn't help her this time either.

As the wolf demon started to circle her like a hungry vulture Kagome again moved into a defensive stance. Keeping her eyes on it she turned when it turned keeping track of it as she attempted to keep it from getting behind her.

Confused and frustrated Kagome asked the one thing she needed to know but was afraid to ask. "Is this a side effect? Did I make the wrong wish?"

The wolf demon stopped circling and finally answered, "Only you can answer that."

As her frustration levels hit an all new high Kagome forgot for a moment to be scared and looked at the thing defiantly. "I have to be here for a reason. If you going to be here, why not help wouldn't that end up helping both of us? The least you could do is to answer some of my questions."

Flexing its deadly claws the thing asked, "Are you sure you are ready to hear the answers?"

Kagome was taken aback by the thing's question and hesitated. Was she really ready? For it to say something like that it the answer was obviously something she would not like. But she had to know. Kagome was tired of being scared and just wanted an ending to all of this.

"Yes," Kagome answered.

After considering her for what seemed like forever the thing nodded and said, "Ask."

Letting out the breath Kagome didn't know she had been holding she decided to ask the simplest question first.

"Where are we?"

"In your mind," the thing answered.

Confused Kagome's brow wrinkled as she asked, "So I'm like dreaming?"

"Yes and no. Your body is asleep but this is very real and happening in your mind. I needed to wait until your mind was not so busy. When you are asleep your brain is not focused on walking, interpreting the images you see, and things like that. Do you understand?"

Nodding Kagome answered, "Yeah I get the gist of what you are saying."

As she observed the wolf demon for a moment Kagome became more confused. It seemed so vicious and it looked at her as if she was the enemy. If that was so then why was it answering questions? She wasn't complaining since she might finally be getting some answers but it was weird. Kagome thought about what the thing just said and a thought came to her. Was it maybe Midriko or one of the other three souls that at one time inhabited the jewel? Is that how it was able to penetrate her mind through her dream?

Kagome realized this was not going to work. It answered one question but the answer really didn't help her figure out what was going on. If Kagome was going to really understand things she needed to ask the questions that had plagued her for so long. So she went back to her original question?

"Who are you?"

Smiling sadly the thing answered, "I am you."

"You can't be." Kagome countered as she watched the rabid wolf demon for any signs of it attacking. The demon wolf had said she could ask questions but how many did that mean and could she really trust what it said. "If you are me then why are you hurting me? Why would you tear my heart out? I don't understand what any of this means." Shaking her head Kagome just couldn't accept that as a fact just on only this thing's word.

"Prove it," Kagome said as she crossed her hands over her chest.

The demon wolf demon did not answer just stared at Kagome with eyes filled of pent up rage. Then, making a show of slowly lifting its hands and showing off deadly claws the thing held out its left arm and slowly pulled the claw of the right hand forefinger down the arm. Kagome watched in horror as the blood welled up from the sliced skin. She didn't know how she expected it to prove it but this wasn't it.

In fact, she was so wrapped up in watching the thing in front of her Kagome barely noticed the burning on her own arm until that burning turned into what felt like hot lava eating at her skin and causing excruciating pain. Grabbing her left arm in her right hand Kagome looked down to see the identical cut running down her arm. Wincing in pain Kagome hastily said, "O.K., o.k. I believe you, please stop."

The demon wolf stopped at Kagome's plea and while keeping eye contact it lifted its arm up a bit towards its mouth. As it opened its huge jaws Kagome saw an extremely long misshapen tongue dart out and lap at the blood. Shuttering again in revulsion Kagome continued to watch as the wound closed over leaving only dried blood on its arm and a small scar showing where the cut had been. Kagome's pain immediately stopped once the cut was healed on the demon wolf but she still kept her arm cradled against her chest. After Kagome took a few deep breaths she hesitantly lowered her own arm. Upon inspection Kagome found that her arm looked exactly like the demon wolf's right down to the scar.

Trying to get her thoughts in order Kagome took another deep breath to calm her frazzled nerves and started over. "You said you are me, right?"

Nodding the thing replied, "Yes but only a part of you?"

"Why do you look like that then? That is definitely not like me."

Smirking again as its eyes flashed the thing taunted, "Isn't this what you have really seen yourself as: a miko, a monster, a bad person, deadly. This form is merely the manifestation of all you have felt and hidden."

"That is not true." Kagome stated as she fisted her hands at her sides.

Not at all fazed by Kagome's tone and denial the thing answered, "It was and still is. You have gotten past much but you still have yet to let go completely."

"Why am I in so much pain even when I wake?" Kagome asked moving on. She wasn't quite sure how to take the last comment so for now she would let it go.

"It is the part of your anguish and guilt you never let go of. You can't possibly think to burry and stuff down so many negative emotions and expect them not to leak out in one way or another," it chastised.

Now it was Kagome's turn to be silent. Her shoulders sagged as she took in all it was saying.

Sighing, the thing continued, "You hurt because I hurt. Our heart has been broken, our dreams dashed. Long ago when you snuck off to follow Inuyasha and he had finally made his stand that was the beginning of the fairytale."

Waving its right hand above its head a memory played in between them. In her surprise Kagome moved back a few steps widening the gap, her eyes glued to the memory that was now playing as if it were a movie.

**Memory**

**She hid in the bushes masking her reiki. Inuyasha had been acting funny for awhile and Kagome was determined to find out what he was up to. Naraku had been defeated and she planned to wish on the jewel in a few days. She had wanted to do it immediately to hurry and rid herself of the thing but Kagome resisted the urge. The wish had to be just right or the jewel of four souls would not be gone for good. **

**When she caught sight of the shinindamashuu, Kagome felt her ire rise. She was so sick of Inuyasha going back and forth. Biting her lip to keep it from trembling, Kagome waited to make her presence known. This was it; she had been trying to be patient but no more. Kagome couldn't believe Inuyasha thought she had really bought his lame excuse about checking the area for threats. She would confront him once and for all and then 'sit' him into oblivion. If Inuyasha was so bent on going to hell with Kikyo then let him. She had tried time and time again to show Inuyasha his worth. How many times had they discussed this very thing in detail with her breaking down all the reasons why he could not be held to his promise? **

**But no more enough was enough, if Inuyasha didn't get it by now he never would. Kagome watched as Inuyasha stood in front of Kikyo her cold clay hands in his. Just when she was about to jump out and confront them both Inuyasha spoke and Kagome held off deciding to let Inuyasha dig himself even deeper in the hanyou-shaped hole he would soon be in.**

"**Kikyo," Inuyasha said as he raised her hands to his lips giving them a quick peck. "I really thought I loved you once and I believe you thought loved me. Had it not been for that bastard Naraku I think we might have been happy, but that time has passed. We never got to really see where our love would take us had it been allowed to grow. I don't blame you anymore for how things happened and I hope you understand and won't blame me."**

**Taking a deep breath Inuyasha continued, "I can't go to hell with you and I know I promised but it was a stupid promise I made in the heat of the moment. It was back when I blamed myself for your death. **

**We both know your time on this earth is borrowed but I still have life in me and a chance of happiness. I am finally getting to know my half brother and even if he is a bastard he's the only kin I have left. There is too much for me to do yet and well I um…have um…kinda fallen in love someone else," Inuyasha said in a low tone laced with more than a little guilt.**

**He truly did feel bad that she never had the chance to know real love but it would do no good to deny himself as well. He finally knew where he belonged and it wasn't by Kikyo's side.**

**Shaking her head Kikyo replied knowingly, "My reincarnation. Tell me Inuyasha does she know how you feel. Have you told her what you are telling me now? It might not be mutual."**

**Shaking his head in the negative Inuyasha answered, "I think she suspects, she should know but no I have not admitted to anything. I owed it to you to tell you first and after we speak I will go to her. And yes it is mutual. She is my future Kikyo, I know that now."**

**Kikyo looked into Inuyasha's eyes to gauge his sincerity and to see if there was even a hint of uncertainty there. Nodding when she found none Kikyo then looked past Inuyasha at the spot she knew Kagome was hiding in. It had been selfish on Kikyo's part and she knew it. Though she felt almost nothing now in her clay shell she could recall the memories and feelings she once held. Begrudgingly she would admit that what they had was not enough but that was an admission Kikyo would take to hell with her.**

**It was plain to see that what Inuyasha had found with her reincarnation couldn't even be classified in the same category as what she and Inuyasha had shared. Kikyo had seen the two together and maybe if they'd had time they would have been like that but there was no way now. That time was long gone. **

**Locking eyes once again with Inuyasha Kikyo finally spoke, "Very well, I release you from your promise Inuyasha. You may go with my blessing." And with that Kikyo turned and walked away leaving a shocked Inu behind. The next day the last part of Kagome's soul returned to her and Kagome gave a silent prayer and blessing for the miko that had once shared her soul.**

**End Memory**

As the memory faded the wolf demon continued, "We hate that we were raised to believe in that fairytale crap. It's was your parents giving you dolls and saying here's you Barbie and Ken. You're the hostess, play kitchen and learn well because when the real stuff comes along it will be your job to take care of it and if any of it gets broken you're the one to blame.

We loved him and he us. We were happier than the story books ever described, living like we had all the time in the world. We had that fairytale life we grew up believing in except that in the fairytales they always live happily ever after. The prince doesn't die leaving the princess to walk the castle halls alone for all eternity. I am the last bit of that angry, bitter part of you that rages against the injustice of it all."

Standing there listening to the demon thing Kagome had the sensation of drowning. Every word she spoke, every truth revealed was like another dagger plunged in her heart. Another air bubble escaping as she slowly drowned in her emotions...

The pain in her chest was back with a vengeance and her eyes burned from the tears she refused to shed. It was enough she didn't want to hear anymore. Trying to get control of herself Kagome asked, "Why now? Why didn't you explain this to me before so I could deal with it? Why the nightmares and the pain? Do you know how I have been suffering?"

"How _we_ have been suffering," it countered, "And would you have even heard me? Would you have listened with your heart and mind open as they are now?"

Her eyes downcast Kagome admitted, "No."

"I could not appear because you were not ready to face the harsh truth. Remember I am you. How could I come forward when you yourself have just acknowledged the truth? Now, here in this place as you say your final goodbyes, here I am. To move on completely you need to let go of it all; the hate, the fear, the guilt, and the pain."

"But what about Sesshomaru? What about Inuyasha?" Kagome asked.

Eyes flashing in anger it answered, "Inuyasha is no longer of this plane and therefore is a mute point. That is, unless of course you plan on joining him," the thing said menacingly.

Kagome was beyond frustrated now. It seemed as though every question answered just brought on more questions. Sighing she then asked, "O.k. so what about Sesshomaru then? Is it really alright to move on with him? Was there something more I didn't understand that Midoriko was trying to tell me?"

Shaking its head the demon wolf replied, "That I cannot answer. You will have to find out for yourself."

Kagome was tempted to ask the thing what use it was then but angering it would do no good. Obviously this needed to be resolved so she just needed to calm down and think. She needed to figure out what the right question to ask was since this thing was not not exactly talkative, nor was it volunteering any information.

Kagome regarded the thing silently for a moment as she chewed on her bottom lip. "You mean you cannot or you will not?"

Blood red eyes locking onto hers it answered, "I cannot be expected to know since you yourself do not know."

"Oh right," Kagome said aloud more to herself than the thing in front of her. Kagome was still having a hard time thinking of this thing as a part of her. Deep down she knew the truth of it but most of her wanted to keep denying the fact. Of course that was how Kagome came to be in this predicament in the first place. No. It was finally time to stop running and trying not to look at things that were too painful to deal with. This had to end.

"So what do I have to do now? I am here so I must be admitting some of it since you are also here. You said so yourself, so now what?"

"You merely have to face that which you have been hiding from for so long," the demon wolf said as it stretched out its arms in what would be an inviting manner had it not been for its sharp teeth and deadly look; well that and the fact that it had been the source of her nightmares for years.

Hesitantly Kagome bridged the gap between the two of them. She really did not want to be so close to this thing but what else could she do. Her jaw set, Kagome continued to slowly move forward the whole time chanting in her head, _You can do this it's just you, You can do this it's just you._

Stopping right in front of her nightmare Kagome was determined to end this, it was now or never. Closing her eyes, her mouth drawn down in a frown Kagome embraced the demon wolf as she forced herself not to pull away at the feel of making contact.

The demon wolf thing started to glow as it turned translucent slowly merging consciousnesses' with Kagome. The spot in Kagome's chest that always gave her trouble started hurting again only this time it was almost unbearable. It felt like she had been stabbed with a large serrated knife that was being twisted to widen the gap. She could almost imagine her muscles being cut and torn apart. The pain then gave way to a burning sensation that spread out from that point in her chest on throughout the rest of her body.

Kagome screamed in pain as it finally reached her head and she was bombarded all at once with memories and visions she would rather forget. It was agonizing seeing everything again and reliving every mistake and loss she had suffered, especially Inuyasha's.

Kagome screamed until she no longer had a voice, her ears ringing with a thousand voices all crying, shouting, and laughing at once.

Then it was done and everything went still, mentally and emotionally exhausted Kagome stared in front of her not even seeing the ground that was rushing up to meet her. The voices had finally stopped and as she crumbled to the ground Kagome knew no more.

**Whew (Wipes sweat from brow), I hope you guys liked this it was a hard one to get to come out and explain like I wanted. As always let me know what you think and don't worry or if you think I should change something. And for those who keep asking when the sadness will stop don't worry I am definitely ready for some fun now. **


	25. Chapter 25

**Her Hearts Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Chapter 25 New Beginnings**

The first thing Kagome noticed upon waking was the strong fresh scent of earth. Using her reiki Kagome extended her aura searching her surroundings to insure she was safe before she showed any movement. That way in case she was in fact being stalked it might give her the element of surprise if her attackers assumed she was still asleep. It was only once she deemed it safe that Kagome then opened her eyes, only to quickly shut them again in an effort to block out the blinding light of day.

Not that it was overly sunny, the day was kind of overcast with the sun hiding out behind the clouds, but it was still too bright as far as Kagome was concerned.

It was only after her second attempt to open her eyes that Kagome noticed she was face down in the dirt and so, lacking the energy to get up she rolled over on her back, wincing slightly at the protest of her stiff muscles. After a few moments the previous night's events finally caught up with her sluggish brain and Kagome silently took inventory, feeling for anything mentally or physically that could be off.

Lying there trying to access how she felt Kagome didn't really feel any difference other than one main thing. How had she not noticed it right away? In utter shock and relief her hand flew up to massage that one spot above her breast. The pain in her chest, the pressure that was always there; just heavier or lighter at certain times was completely gone.

Unconsciously her other hand started to caress the ground beside her as she thought of Inuyasha. A small smile graced her lips when Kagome realized there was also no burning or stinging in her eyes. She did miss him but that deep desolate despair that had been her constant companion for so long was nowhere to be found. Was this it? Was it really over? It was almost unreal to her, the thought of no more heavy burdens weighting on her heart. No debilitating sadness. Kagome then sat up as she started to try to get herself together. She brushed off the front of her kimono and then made a poor attempt at the back, at least what she could reach of it anyway. Then, she ran her fingers through her hair to get out the worst of the tangles before looking down at the grave that held her beloved.

There were so many things Kagome felt she still needed to say that she didn't know where to start. As she groped for the right words it suddenly occurred to her that there was really only one thing left for her to say. Standing up Kagome continued to look down at the grave smiling and then moving to the headstone she said the two words she had needed to say for so long. Kagome lifted the fingers of her right hand to her lips placing a gentle kiss on them and then placed those fingers on the headstone.

"Goodbye, Inuyasha."

As she got ready to turn around to leave the cloud cover broke and for an instant Kagome was surrounded in the suns warm blinding light. It illuminated her whole body giving Kagome an other worldly look for a moment. Closing her eyes at the sudden brightness, Kagome then felt a warm breeze caress her as if an invisible hand had stroked her cheek. It was then that Kagome did shed a tear. Not the bucketfuls she had been shedding up until this point but one single tear. The difference in this one from all the others being that this was one of acceptance, of resolution, and above all else happiness. Then, just as suddenly as it had begun, it was over and the sun was once again hidden behind the clouds. After a quick glance at the heavens Kagome turned on her heal and started to walk away without the slightest urge of looking back.

**oOo With Sesshomaru oOo**

Black leather boots continued to traipse along the now well worn strip of grass. The owner of said boots only stopping every hour or so to look east in the direction a certain miko had disappeared in two days ago. He had trained, hunted, meditated and then trained, hunted, and meditated some more. The waiting was really starting to get to him. Sesshomaru knew Kagome was more than capable of taking care of herself and he had himself checked several times to make sure there were no threats in the area but it did little to ease his mind. He needed Kagome here, in front of him. Until her could look at her himself and see she was unharmed he would not be content.

As he continued to pace the usually patient Taiyoukai marveled again at the fact that Kagome could always push his patience almost to its breaking point. Just what was taking her so long? Yes, he understood that it would take time but not this much. If it were not for the personal nature of her departure or the fact that he knew she needed space Sesshomaru would have retrieved her long ago, her wishes be damned.

So relieved was Sesshomaru when he felt the spike of Kagome's reiki that without thinking he sped off to meet her. It was only mere seconds before reaching her that he made himself slow down, trying quite unsuccessfully to calm himself and school his features so as not to give away his anxiousness.

As he landed before the miko Sesshomaru stilled his tongue. Instead of going to her right away he took a few moments to take in Kagome's scent and appearance only moving forward when he was satisfied she was in fact unharmed and well. The words_ "What took you so long?'_ and 'Why_ are you covered in dirt?'_ teetered on the tip of his tongue. It was such a struggle to control at this time that Sesshomaru felt he should pat himself on the back when a totally different question passed his lips.

"Are you ready to go, Kagome?"

At her smile and nod Sesshomaru extended his hands towards her but much to Kagome's surprise it went past her own to the back of her neck. Before Kagome could ask what he was doing Sesshomaru brought his hand back to where Kagome could see the few pieces of grass she must have missed. Kagome looked down at her feet refusing to meet Sesshomaru's questioning gaze. She really did not want to explain why she was so dirty. If ever his remarks about the hygiene of humans he used to make were true, looking as she did now Kagome would be its poster girl.

"I guess the first thing I should do is take a bath when I get back, huh?" Kagome stated her voice laced with embarrassment. She was just waiting for him to say something smart but was pleasantly surprised when he simply agreed and let the topic go.

"Indeed," Sesshomaru countered earning him playful smack on his arm.

"You know you don't have to agree so quickly," Kagome chastised as the two took off towards the cave.

Kagome took her time bathing and by the time she joined Sesshomaru by the fire he had what appeared to be a squirrel already roasted and on a plate for her. His own uncooked and neatly sliced, no doubt by those deadly claws, sitting beside him. Kagome smiled when she also noticed the berries and sweet grass that was added to only her plate. It was yet another reminder of how much Sesshomaru always considered her needs, even nutritionally since demons for the most part did not need fruits and veggies.

Their meal went nicely as they talked about little things, nothing serious. Kagome was actually very glad for this. It occurred to her while she bathed that Sesshomaru might want to discuss what happened while she was gone. Not only was Kagome unsure if she wanted to discuss the matter but she was also confused as to where to start as far as his earlier admission as well as her own thoughts on the matter.

After they both finished and the dishes had been cleaned and put away they decided to do some sparring. Kagome hadn't moved much for the last two days and really felt a good workout would be beneficial.

The sparring session was intense, though Sesshomaru seemed a little distracted much to Kagome's chagrin. However, considering everything that had happened in the last few days, Kagome felt that Sesshomaru would speak to her about what was on his mind when he was ready. Kagome then decided that she would hunt for dinner this time since only Sesshomaru had hunted for them since they had come on this little getaway. Sesshomaru agreed but refused to leave her alone. The younger Kagome would have fought such an action but she realized that she had been gone for long time and with him being an Inu Demon his instincts would not let him do any less. She was lucky he was letting her hunt at all. In light of that Kagome just agreed and made up her mind to make it as pleasant as an experience as possible.

It ended up being even better than Kagome ever thought it could be. Sesshomaru starting to tell more stories from his past, only silencing once any prey was near, and Kagome had to admit she was thoroughly enjoying herself.

**oOo Later that Evening oOo**

Kagome stretched a little as she rubbed her full belly. The pair of rabbits she had been chasing had gotten away from her but she was able to get a nice fat bird that had flown by. Dinner had been another wonderful experience and then the two played cards until it got late and Kagome could no longer stifle the yarns that just kept coming.

After a quick look at the Taiyoukai to gauge his mood Kagome then moved from her place in front of the fire and sat down beside him. Sesshomaru for his part stayed perfectly still, trying not to give his curiosity and nervousness away. For the hundredth time in just a few days he wanted to smack himself for acting like a pup, but of course he was above such things, so he mentally berated himself instead. Sesshomaru was only brought out of his musings by Kagome clearing her voice.

Shifting his attention to Kagome Sesshomaru gave a slight nod to let her know he was listening and waited for her to continue.

"Sesshomaru, exactly how much longer will we be staying here?" she asked.

"I had no specific time in mind Kagome. I cleared my schedule for a week since I was not sure how much time you would need, but if you are ready we will head out in the morning." Sesshomaru wasn't quite ready to go yet as he had hoped they could spend a few more days with it being just the two of them instead of the constant company of those in the castle. However, if she was ready then so be it.

"Not really. I was actually hoping we could stay for a few more days if that is alright with you," Kagome answered looking into the fire instead of directly at him. She knew what she wanted to say but Kagome had become so nervous she could hardly keep her voice from shaking.

"As I said I set aside a week so we can stay the remainder of the time as long as we head straight back once the week is over. I have some important guests that are to arrive in two weeks and everything must be readied for their arrival." Sesshomaru then waited to see if she had any further questions. He could sense the rise of her nervousness but could not pinpoint what the cause could be.

"Thank you," Kagome said in a low voice. "I would like that." Kagome was about to get up to get ready for bed when she stopped. Mentally kicking herself for being such a chicken Kagome then added, "Ano…. Sesshomaru, if you are still willing I would like to give us a try."

Sesshomaru, who had been looking forward at the time, whipped his head towards her so quickly it actually startled Kagome. One moment she was looking at his side profile and the next she was staring into curious golden eyes that held more than a little passion in them. The only evidence of him being caught off guard the slight widening of his eyes.

"I….uh… I don't mean like right away," Kagome corrected as she waved her hands in front of her body. "I just mean I would like to see where this will take us. As long as we move slowly, that is."

Sesshomaru was not sure of what exactly he should say that would not give away too much but that would let her know he was happy about her proposition. "Of course, I think that would be best." Sesshomaru merely said, his smooth strong voice belying his own nervousness.

Smiling her thanks, Kagome then leaned over a placed a chaste kiss on Sesshomaru's cheek. "Thank you for everything… especially your patience."

Kagome then quickly retreated to her sleeping mat throwing the covers over her head to hide her cherry red cheeks. Had she had the courage to look across the fire Kagome might not have been so embarrassed. Not with the comical expression Sesshomaru now wore. Long into the night Sesshomaru sat there slack jaw and eyes wide, with a half smile gracing his features. He knew he must resemble a grinning idiot but could not find it in him to care. Things were looking so much better than he had even dared to dream, especially after so long, that for the moment he would just bask in these feelings.

**Hope you guys like it. Not that exciting I know but a necessary transition for them to get where I need them to be. I can't move but so fast because of how I set it up but I will definitely be moving things along faster than before. Next chapter Sess and Kags will be able to have a little fun in the sun. Half naked Sesshomaru. (^_^) Yeah! **


	26. Chapter 26

**Her Hearts Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Chapter 26 Not So Scary After All**

"Come now Kagome we are both grown," Sesshomaru chastised using a tone similar to Kagome's when she got '_a talking to'_.

"I will get myself prepared first," Sesshomaru continued as he disappeared behind a group of trees to the left of the lake.

When Sesshomaru came back out Kagome could do nothing but stand there staring with her mouth hanging open. Yes, Sesshomaru was a vision but that was not the issue here.

"You are not going in like that are you?" Kagome asked in a much higher pitch than she had meant that made the Taiyoukai wince slightly.

**oOo Earlier oOo**

It was their last day away from the castle and Kagome had been having a ball. She was still oddly nervous around Sesshomaru but it was steadily getting better. It was absurd of course, since they had been spending so much time together in each other's company for so long, but now that she knew how Sesshomaru felt about her it was just different. It was also kind of nerve wrecking now that Kagome had allowed herself to admit how she felt about him as well.

It was like she had been seeing only two dimensionally all this time and now everything was suddenly three dimensional. It was all there in the open; the good and the bad, not just one side of the coin but both. Now each smile, look, and touch took on a whole different meaning.

No, Sesshomaru had not said anymore other than those words he spoke before but now that her eyes were open Kagome knew there was more. He might be letting her slowly adjust before he said anything further but Kagome knew Sesshomaru at least a little better by now. He would never have said something to her so lightly. There was nothing Sesshomaru did as far as she was concerned, that was not carefully planned out and meditated on. Knowing that, Kagome did not doubt that just below the surface there were a lot more things lurking below the calm facade he often wore.

The days had steadily been getting hotter and Sesshomaru had suggested they take a dip to cool off. Kagome, being the water lover she was, hastily agreed until they got to the river and the subject of what they would wear while in the water came up; which is what led them to their current heated discussion.

**oOo Present oOo**

Pointing Kagome asked, "Where did you get those?"

Looking down at the knee length swimming trunks he wore Sesshomaru merely raised an eyebrow at her question. "They were a gift from you when you first came to stay at my palace, or do you not remember."

Kagome let the irritation be heard in her voice as she countered, "Of course I do. I am the one that brought it along with all the other handy things I thought we all might need from my time. What I want to know is how you knew to bring them? I am definitely not going to be the only one in the water in my unmentionables. Take those off?"

Sesshomaru's eyebrow then completely disappeared behind his bangs as he answered, "I am starting to believe that was your intention all along Kagome," Sesshomaru said in a deep silky voice that sent shivers down her spine. "However, you only had to ask. There is no need for such pretense," Sesshomaru said with a wicked smirk as he advanced on her.

"I …. You…no," Kagome sputtered as her face turned crimson. She then backed up a few steps to counter the steps Sesshomaru had taken towards her. After taking a deep breath to get composed Kagome tried again. "That is not what I meant Sesshomaru and you know it."

"Hn," he replied as he turned and then reached in the pack he had set down. That was when Kagome noticed the pack. _Had he been carrying that the whole time?_ She looked at it curiously as he pulled out a wrapped bundle that had a note pinned to it.

"You are just too easy to fluster," Sesshomaru said and then tossed the pack at Kagome.

Easily catching the bundle Kagome then unpinned the note and read it. _Knowing you Kagome-sama you will need this. Leila. _Shaking her head Kagome turned her attention to the package itself. It was one of her bathing suits. That woman knew her way too well. Kagome made a mental note to thank her when she returned as she walked toward the place Sesshomaru had just moments ago stepped out from behind.

However, in mid step Kagome turned again as something occurred to her. "Wait a minute. You knew all along this was in here. Were you just going to let me swim in my underclothes? You are as bad as Miroku was you, you lecher," Kagome said as she pointed an accusing finger at Sesshomaru.

"You doubt my honor and insult me by comparing me to the monk?" Sesshomaru asked sounding quite put out.

Kagome again started to sputter as she fought to find the right words to correct what she had said when a small laugh, that more resembled a bark, came from Sesshomaru.

Shaking his head he answered the question in her gaze. "As I said, too easy."

Realizing she was being teased Kagome huffed and then turned back towards the bushes to get dressed as she murmured promises of payback.

**oOOo**

Icy fingers massaged her scalp as Kagome dived into the crystal clear lake. Kagome couldn't help feeling a little giddy. Everything was so new and exciting but scary at the same time. She said she would give this a try and she meant it. Finally her heart, mind and body were all on the same page. Well, mostly anyway if she had to be truthful about it her body was way ahead of everything else but she could rein it in.

Surfacing Kagome flipped over on her back so she could watch the clouds. As she thought about where she was going to go from here Kagome smiled as she lazily floated on her back looking at the few birds that flew by.

It was nice and peaceful and Kagome was so relaxed. It was like a great weight had been lifted and she felt wonderful. Thinking about how she would love to do this all day Kagome continued floating when she was assaulted by splashing water. Suddenly, as her nose began stinging Kagome stood up coughing a bit as the water ran out of her nose.

Turning on her attacker Kagome yelled, "What was that for?"

Sesshomaru stood a few feet away looking bored; in fact if it wasn't for the fact that Kagome had been spending so much time with him she would have left it at that. However, she had been around the Taiyoukai enough to read his various expressions and Kagome could tell he was indeed quite amused. He was also trying to hard not to look as if anything were amiss.

"My apologies, Kagome I was merely swatting at an insect."

"Yeah right," Kagome said getting ready to reciprocate. "Well, stand still I see another one."

Before Kagome could put her hands in the water to splash Sesshomaru he took off diving under the water away from her.

"Oh, no you don't," Kagome said aloud as she followed suit.

Blindly reaching out under the water Kagome managed to grab on to one finely shaped calf. She figured she would need to play a little dirty since Kagome knew she was no match for his speed. Giving a hard tug Kagome both pulled Sesshomaru back while simultaneously propelling herself forward enough to grab onto his waist.

Sesshomaru on the other hand was confident that his little miko was no match for him. Yes she could swim but with his much longer arms and his powerful strokes it would be easy to evade her. Sesshomaru was actually surprised Kagome managed to get a hold of his leg. When she pulled he mentally shook his head at the futility of such an action but when he suddenly felt her petite hands wrapping around his waist he had to smile. So she wanted to play did she? Putting more power into his strokes Sesshomaru was planning to pull her along with him enjoying the feel of her body so close to his that was until her fingers started to spasm.

In surprise Sesshomaru inhaled sharply only to imitate Kagome's earlier actions. As he stood up coughing he brought Kagome up as well still hanging off of his waist. Once they were upright Kagome let go, only to give Sesshomaru a minute to catch his breath before she continued her tickling assault.

Not thinking Sesshomaru tried to move away from Kagome's fingers as fast as possible so instead of just coming out of the water he ended up trying to run. With Kagome's laughter ringing in his ears Sesshomaru then looked up to realize he had run right into the rock face, blocking any exit. With nowhere to run Sesshomaru frantically tried to figure a way to escape all the while moving away from Kagome's fingers when he stopped. He was Sesshomaru, why was he running? With a wicked gleam Sesshomaru then turned on Kagome figuring turnabout was fair play and launched his counter attack. Kagome realizing a little too late that Sesshomaru had gotten his bearings and that she no longer had the surprise advantage squealed and turned tale. Only to be caught before she even started to get away. After a few moments of nonstop tickling torture at Sesshomaru's hands Kagome finally relented.

"O.k., o.k. I give!," Kagome begged out of breath. Stopping his assault Sesshomaru wrapped his hands around Kagome pulling her flush against him.

Laughing Kagome smiled up at Sesshomaru as she watched the water trail down his perfect face. Kagome lifted a hand and gently moved the hair stuck to the side of Sesshomaru's face completely in awe of how stunning he looked right at that moment. His face was open, graced with one of his most beautiful smiles she had ever seen and his eyes were sparking as he looked down on her with adoration.

Kagome could feel her heart beat speeding up as she watched the water trail down his neck and onto Sesshomaru's perfectly sculptured chest. Kagome's mind raced as she licked her lips. Before she could change her mind and think about what she was doing Kagome stood on her tip toes and gently placed a kiss on Sesshomaru's lips.

Her face warming with a blush Kagome went to pull back only to feel Sesshomaru's hand on the back of her head as he deepened the kiss. Startled as she realized what was going on Kagome went to pull back but as Sesshomaru gently but firmly ravaged her mouth Kagome could do nothing but moan as she put her hand on his shoulders pulling them even closer.

Finishing off with a few soft pecks Sesshomaru reluctantly pulled back and then looked at Kagome to gauge her reaction. Trying to tone down his self satisfied smirk at Kagome's passion filled eyes Sesshomaru gently let go.

"It is getting late Kagome, we should go and eat," Sesshomaru said as he grabbed her hand and led her out of the water.

"Ah Huh," was all Kagome could manage to say as she blindly followed Sesshomaru. At this point her brain had temporarily shut down, he could have walked them both off the edge of a cliff and she'd be smiling the whole way down. Maybe this wouldn't be so scary after all.

O.K. I hope you all like it. As always I love to hear your thoughts so please review. Until next time. ^_^


	27. Chapter 27

**Her Heart's Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Chapter 27 A Doubting Kagome**

Kagome sat in the windowsill overlooking the east side garden. Usually she would be up and moving by now but her mood had dimmed a bit since they had returned. It had been one week since they had been back she had hardly seen Sesshomaru since.

It seemed that the apprehensive feeling that had started to take root in her stomach upon her first glimpse of the beautiful fortress was warranted. At first Kagome had refused to give in to the feelings and fears that maybe this had been all just a wonderful dream. Then Kagome had started to fear that the Sesshomaru she had spent those few wonderful days in the woods with would be gone. Being back in the castle surrounded by subordinates Sesshomaru would never do anything that was perceived as weak to others. In his case, as far as Kagome knew, Sesshomaru was still of the opinion that to show emotions was a weakness.

Obviously he had come a long way, since he had in fact expressed to her his feelings but could she live with that? One or two sentiments only when away from prying eyes, not even able to touch or hold hands save in private. Kagome had always been emotional being and with people that were her friends , or let's face it in her younger years anyone not trying to kill her at that second , she could not restrain herself from showing said emotions whether negative or positive physically. It was not that she was overly touchy but when you compared her interactions with people to those of Sesshomaru's, Kagome was sure it would look like she was a human octopus. Just how would they overcome that?

There was also the question that now that they were back how much time would they get to spend together. Being a lord Sesshomaru had many different things to deal with so it only stood to reason that those matters of the most importance would gain the bulk of his attentions. Did that include her as well? Did he even still want to be with her? Kagome also had to wonder about the courting, he had yet to make a formal announcement. Sesshomaru was not one to procrastinate so Kagome had thought that would have been one of the first things he would have done so that she could move her room closer to his. She figured that way at least they could speak more without someone always around.

As Kagome looked over the beautiful landscape she started to wring her hands, an automatic reaction to all the disturbing thoughts that plagued her. She knew that when they had gotten back Sesshomaru would have to catch on his work and he had to oversee the preparations for his incoming guests but she did expect to see him a little more. The one thing she did appreciate, however was that no matter what else he had to do Sesshomaru always joined her for dinner but even then he was so much more reserved and formal. He also never stayed to talk with her afterwards; instead Sesshomaru always excused himself shortly after. Kagome shook her head slightly as if that one action could dispel the many thoughts running around her head. She had to stop thinking about this stuff and just come out and ask him. If she kept pondering on all these things as she had been Kagome knew she would drive herself crazy. As it was she was ready to start pulling out her hair.

Trying to distract herself Kagome turned her thoughts to Sesshomaru's special guests. He had given her very few details about them. All Kagome knew was that they were some esteemed dignitaries and that she was to attend the banquet. Whoever they were they must be very important since she had to be fitted for a new Kimono just for the event. Kagome's thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of her rumbling stomach.

After a quick check of her appearance Kagome headed to the main hall to find something to eat. She wondered if she would see Sesshomaru on the way. If it weren't for the fear of embarrassment and rejection she would have hunted Sesshomaru down before now but every time she started to seriously consider it her stomach started to feel like it was trying to tie itself into knots. There were just so many things she hadn't considered before that had all come crashing in on her now that said problems were right in her face.

Still she could not hide out in her room forever. Her mind made up she took a detour and Kagome found herself in front of the door that led to Sesshomaru's office. Smiling at the guards posted outside the office Kagome straightened her back and proceeded forward all the while ignoring the trapeze artists that had once again taken up residence in her stomach.

**oOo**

There he sat looking regal and perfect. To anyone that hadn't noticed the slight narrowing of his eyes and the grip that was a little too tight on the arm of his chair it would have looked as if the western lord was indeed interested in what was being said.

However, no one noticed other than maybe a couple of servants bringing in trays of tea and fruit. Knowing there lord well they were sure not to even acknowledge any such change, lest said lord decide to take out his frustrations on them.

Sesshomaru for his part was playing the fair and attentive Lord but if the meeting went on for much longer he was sure that the West would be going to war. For he would have liked nothing more at that very moment than to behead the irritating youkai in front of him if only just to get him to shut up. At that thought Sesshomaru's hand tightened a little more on the arm of the chair; his sharp and deadly claws easily cutting through the first few layers of the thick wood.

Ever since he had come back Sesshomaru had been bombarded by endless tasks. He had sat in more meetings than he cared to count and had also had to sit in as judge to handle those matters that had already gone through the lengthy chain of command and still could not be settled.

Never had Sesshomaru (with the exception of the first few hundred years of his reign after his sires death) felt so tired of his duties as lord or have a compulsion so strong to shirk his duties as he did now. All he wanted was to grab up Kagome and disappear somewhere, anywhere but here. Had it always been like this taxing or was it Kagome? Now that Sesshomaru had gotten a taste of a happiness and contentment he had never known without her at his side everything else was so dull.

Tuning out the old badger, that was taking way too long to get to his point, Sesshomaru pondered over this mood that had taken over him lately. He always had little patience when it came to all the paperwork and pleasantries that went along with his title but that did not mean he didn't put just as much effort into it as he did his fighting and training. Being a leader there were bound to be tasks and responsibilities that were less than pleasant but that did not mean one avoided them.

Though there were many points they did not agree on Sesshomaru had to admit his sire had taught him well when it came to the responsibilities and attention to detail that was needed to be not just a lord but a great lord.

With the training he received from his sire Sesshomaru had built upon that and now had far surpassed Inutashio. Even though he was one of the strongest, if not the strongest, Taiyoukai alive Sesshomaru knew brute strength and cunning would only take you so far. It was why the dignitaries coming were so important. One had to keep on growing and improving lest they find themselves stagnant in a world that was ever changing. Knowledge was true power and yes Sesshomaru's power increased daily. That line of thought brought Sesshomaru back to the studies and conversations he had with Kagome. Kagome.

Kami, how he missed her. Sesshomaru had loved Kagome from afar for so long he was used to her occupying his thoughts the majority of the time. However, now that they had spent so much time getting to know each other in a whole other way things were different. He ached to be with her every moment of the day. No more hiding or holding back. Now that she knew how he felt and had reciprocated said feelings Sesshomaru could hardly think of anything else but Kagome.

He had been able to slip away for a few small talks and of course they always ate together but it was not the same. The quality time that he had wanted to spend with her was gone. Even though it would only be until he got everything in order and finished up with the surprise he had in store for Kagome, Sesshomaru was getting anxious.

Him, anxious. Sesshomaru almost wanted to scoff at his own self with that thought.

The slightest shift in the badger's posture brought Sesshomaru out of his revelries. Realizing that he had finally stopped talking Sesshomaru waited a few more seconds before answering. Better to look like he was seriously contemplating the mating offer than to look like he wasn't paying attention even if he wasn't. He was the lord of the West; they would wait for his response even if it took all day.

Flexing his hands ever so slightly Sesshomaru then spoke, "Thank you vassal Kinchi, your offer will be seriously considered. In the meantime send my regards to the princess and know that a messenger will be arriving in your lands in two days time."

"As you know I will be having a banquet in a week and one half. I have decided that I will announce my decision there. This will change the length of the banquet by three days and I want to make sure you know of my intent to send you formal notice."

"Thank you my lord, your messenger will be well received," the badger answered before bowing and taking his leave.

Sesshomaru watched the retreating back of the badger in utter boredom. Personally telling him was enough but of course procedure, procedure, procedure. After pinching the bridge of his nose to relieve some of the stress that had been building behind his eyes and spreading along his sinuses Sesshomaru took a deep cleansing breath. He then raised his right hand and flicking it once as if he were warding off an insect and spoke in a deep voice.

"That will be all for the day I will be retreating to my quarters and am not to be disturbed," he stated as he walked out without even glancing at the guard stationed to the left of the room. He knew that his orders would be disseminated and followed.

Sesshomaru was tired and needed to unwind. A nice soak in his personal hot spring followed by a visit to Kagome was just what he needed. At the thought of extra time with Kagome Sesshomaru's steps quickened, the staff in his path scurrying to move out the way of their lord.

**oOo**

After a failed attempt to see Sesshomaru, Kagome headed back to her room. Not feeling up to eating alone Kagome let Leila know she would be taking dinner in her room. Once again taking up what was becoming her favorite window seat Kagome then let out a sigh.

"Come in," Kagome answered to the soft knock on the door. She never turned around to great her knowing Leila would take the hint and give her some space.

So when Kagome heard the tray being sat down and the door closing a few seconds later she assumed she was alone. That was until her hair was stroked, taking a deep breath Kagome then turned slightly to tell Leila she wasn't in the mood for company since Leila obviously did not get the hint when her eyes widened in surprise.

"What are you doing here?" Kagome asked a little tensely.

No longer hiding his aura Sesshomaru took a step toward Kagome and answered. "I went to the dining hall to meet you for dinner when I was told you were taking it in your room. You did not expect me to eat alone now did you?" Sesshomaru answered in a slightly teasing voice.

Shaking her head Kagome countered, "You know what I mean. I thought you would be in meetings all day and late into the evening. At least that is what Shinzo told me."

"I was supposed to be," Sesshomaru explained, "but I cancelled the rest of the meetings for the evening."

"I know that Shinzo was only doing what he was told and I am not upset with him," the slightest flare in her powers belying her statement. "It's just that I…. I at least thought that with … well you know with everything that's going on I wouldn't be included in not being able to come in."

"You mean us?" Sesshomaru stated plainly watching the color start to rise in Kagome's cheeks.

Turning around to fully face him Kagome gestured to a chair. Before thinking Sesshomaru went and retrieved a chair pulling it in front of Kagome so that they would be sitting knee to knee and sat quietly awaiting the question he knew she would ask. The little part of his mind that questioned when he started to behave like such a trained puppy was pushed aside as Sesshomaru gave Kagome his complete attention.

"Sesshomaru have you changed your mind?" Kagome blurted out as she tried not to sound desperate.

"No Kagome. I meant every word I said to you and nothing will change my feelings. The only thing that has changed is that I will need to promote a few more judges to free up more of time that I would rather be spending with you. I have watched you from afar for so long until I was almost driven mad with envy. I will not relent now."

At the question in her eyes Sesshomaru continued, "Even though he had passed I still envied my brother. I wanted so much to be more than just pack or associates. If nothing else I at least wanted to be a close friend; to hold a little place in your heart."

At his statement Kagome couldn't help but smile as her stomach flipped in response to his comment but she would not be deterred she couldn't. Kagome couldn't stand the thought of not knowing or doubting where this was all going.

So, squaring up her shoulders Kagome then asked, "then why have I hardly seen you? I kind of feel like your avoiding me. You haven't said anything to anyone about us starting the courting process and the guards still treat me the same. Not bad mind you," Kagome added quickly at Sesshomaru's darkening expression, "just like the same old Kagome. Not that I really wanted them to treat me any different. Well of course they would treat me different but you know little things like letting me in the meeting with you and my room being all the way on the other side instead of at least a little closer."

Kagome's rambling was stopped by a long slender finger across her lips along with a soft growl that she knew meant to shush but in a nice way.

"Kagome there are many things to do before I can announce something so monumental. For this will not only affect the west but the other lands as well since at least two are trying to negotiate a mating alliance with their daughters. For this reason I cannot move you closer to me and I have to watch the amount of time spent in your presence. My men are all loyal to me but there could always be spies planted around to carry any rumors or gossip. There is also the matter of the upcoming banquet. This is very important in uniting those that have scattered since we know there are very few youkai in your time. I cannot make a move until that is done. Understand?"

"Yes, I understand," Kagome said a little sadly. She felt better knowing it wasn't him trying to hide her away but it still saddened her a little that this was how things would have to be for Kami knew how long.

Sesshomaru looked into Kagome's eyes and did not like the small traces of doubt that were still there. Mindful of his claws he then reached out and gently pulled Kagome towards him. Trying to express what his words were not doing adequately by putting as much passion and love he could in his kiss. Kagome was taken off guard and sat stiffly for a moment before she melted against him and moaned into his mouth.

Sesshomaru took that opportunity to deepen the kiss even further as their tongues battled for dominance but that took no time as there was no real fight. Kagome submitted instantly as she ran her fingers up Sesshomaru's shoulders using one hand to gently massage the spot on the back of his neck that she'd found out accidentally he liked.

Sesshomaru growled lustily as he pulled Kagome from her seat on the window sill and onto his lap. So blown away was Kagome by his searing kiss that she didn't realize she had been shifted until she felt something hard rubbing against her bottom. Kagome knew she should be shocked or at least more reserved but all that happened was that she got even more excited as her lower regions started to heat up.

Breaking the kiss to get a breath Kagome once again moaned arching her back while simultaneously tilting her head back to give Sesshomaru more access. Not one to overlook an advantage Sesshomaru used the space between them and started to loosen Kagome's obi a bit. That's when the smell of Kagome's arousal hit him driving his beast in a frenzy.

Sesshomaru tried to quiet that side of him with promises of what they would be able to do later but it didn't work as much as he had hoped. Knowing he needed to end this now but the more devious side of him wanted to give Kagome something to think about. So Sesshomaru decided to show her one of the advantages of being with an inu was. Sticking out his abnormally long and flexible tongue he started to lap at Kagome's neck. As he started to move up toward the junction where her jaw and throat met Sesshomaru then started to alternate between licking and nipping at her neck.

After all he could control himself, he was Sesshomaru. That thought only lasted two minutes however, because it was just then that he stopped rubbing with his other hand and tweaked Kagome's nipples through her bra. He did not know when he had opened her kimono but at that moment it really didn't matter as he intended to feast upon her soft mounds. It was then that Kagome who had for the most part stayed still until then started to rock against him. Some kind of way the minx had managed to push up the bottom of her kimono and without him realizing it had maneuvered herself until she was straddling him. Between her pants that were tickling his ears, the taste of her and her heated core rubbing back and forth over his raging hard on Sesshomaru was gone.

Damn the rules they would do a mating ceremony for everyone else later. For if she her cavern felt and tasted even half as good as her mouth Sesshomaru would fight every fucking land that felt jilted by his hasty mating without a second thought. As he started to undo his hamaka's Sesshomaru started to feel the tingling of Kagome's reiki.

It was nothing that could harm Sesshomaru but enough for him to stop his ministrations and look at Kagome. She had pulled back and put her hands on his chest in an effort to gain space. Trying to catch her breath she said, "No we can't do this."

Looking at her in slight disbelief since she seemed all too ready a minute ago, Sesshomaru briefly thought to act as if he didn't hear her and continue. Kagome must have sensed that however as she added.

"Sesshomaru we have to stop you know that. I am sorry I got carried away but it's too soon," she said in a voice she hoped sounded firm and definite.

Knowing she was right Sesshomaru took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he attempted to regain his control. It didn't matter anyway since her last statement had pretty much done the job for him. He was a lot of things but a rapist he wasn't and even if she would probably be all for it once he got her going again no still meant no.

Shaking his head in acquiesce Sesshomaru stood and returned the chair to its proper place, giving Kagome a chance to straighten her clothes. Turning around to face her once he had given her an appropriate amount of time Sesshomaru gently placed a kiss to her forehead and then headed for the door. He still wasn't at the point where he could hold a conversation yet and hoped she would understand.

"I must go, I will see you tomorrow Kagome. Enjoy the rest of your evening and make sure to eat a little something."

Sesshomaru hastily retreated to him rooms and started to pace. He had underestimated her pull on him and would have to be more careful in the future. And what was worse was he was once again hard as a brick as the smell of her ensnared his senses. Intending on stripping and taking a cold dip to help alleviate his problem Sesshomaru stopped when he noticed the stain on his hamaka's. Kagome's juices had soaked right through. Continuing to strip his eyes started to tint with red as a predatory grin spread across his face. Taking the hamaka's with him Sesshomaru stripped down to all his glory then headed toward his massive bed. Perhaps there was a more enjoyable way to rid himself of his affliction after all.

/

**Alright guys that's it. I will try to update soon. I am sorry it has been so long but my son was in and out of the hospital and has been very sick. With everything going on honestly I just lost the will to write. Now things are getting better I feel my muse trying to visit and I can once again put some much needed love and attention back on my story. For those of you that have stuck in there with me. Thank you.**


	28. Chapter 28

**Her Heart's Winter Thaw**

** By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Chapter 28 Higurashi Who?**

Kagome shooed Leila's hand away in frustration. Kami knew she loved her to death but Kagome had been pulled, tightened and primped enough for right now. Over the years wearing a Kimono had become the most natural thing in the world but Kagome had never quite gotten used to the formal ones. This newest Kimono had to be among both the best and the worst of them all. It had so many layers that the beautiful soft material felt more like a straightjacket in all its confinement. Kagome was sure it had taken at least an hour and one half to put it all on and that was with the two of them working together.

"You look beautiful Kagome-san," Leila commented as she took a step back to admire their hard work.

"I had better after all the effort this thing took, whew!" Kagome huffed as she turned slightly to get a better look at herself.

When she did all Kagome could do was stare. She was comfortable in her own skin now that she was older. Before when she was a lot younger the flawless skin, otherworldly beauty, and intimidating height of the many demonesses of court had made her a little insecure. Sure she was pretty but they were gorgeous. Inuyasha had always said she was being silly and it didn't matter anyway because he only had eyes for her.

Kagome would be on cloud nine whenever he said that and would forget all about her insecurities; at least until the next time they visited the castle. Then as she matured it was only a passing thought every now and again. In all honesty Kagome was mostly just envious of the little to no exercise they got away with and still be able to maintain their beautiful figures.

Once she lost Inuyasha she no longer cared. _Inuyasha_ Kagome mused. It was an odd feeling thinking back to those times. Kagome missed him but it was not the terrible loss she had felt before. She could think about him with a smile. Her thoughts were not of his loss but of her good friend that she missed and the many wonderful times they had shared. It all now seemed as if that were in another lifetime. As she stood there lost in her thoughts the fingers of her right hand came up and absently rubbed the spot that used to cause her so much pain.

"Kagome-sama, do you not like it?" Leila asked bringing Kagome out of her revelries.

Clearing her throat Kagome answered. "Oh yes I love it. You know me, just lost in thought is all."

Redirecting her attentions back to the mirror Kagome smiled widely. The kimono was beautiful. She was beautiful. The outermost layer was an ivory color with intricate stitching of the symbol of the house of the west along the hem and cuffs and pearls of the softest and clearest hue were also intertwined throughout. It was a wordless story of strength and protection.

There was a picture of Sesshomaru in his youkai form standing tall and proud in the uppermost corner of Kagome's left shoulder. It was not one of him snarling or attacking but of him standing on all fours looking beautifully frightening as his radiant aura surrounded him making him outshine even the sun. His stance was one of protection as he looked out over the lands and castle pictured below that was around the area of Kagome's lower back.

The layer right under that one was baby pink covered in mountain scenery as if in continuation to show the reach of the protection offered under Sesshomaru's rein. Under that one was a powder blue solid kimono with white trimming along the edge of her collar and sleeves. On and on they went each one just as beautiful though not as intricate as Kagome's outer Kimono.

"I look like a princess in this," Kagome remarked. Leila had done a wonderful job on her hair and her makeup was flawless. The ornaments in her hair swung gently as Kagome turned her head to admire the finished product. Leila had added golden dog combs in her hair once she had finished. There were two, one placed on each side again in a protective stance and at their feet carvings of flame with pearls dangling down as if they were the subjects under the giant dog. Nodding to her reflection in the mirror Kagome said, "I'm ready now."

Wordlessly Leila turned and started to lead Kagome out of the room to the main stairway Kagome would descend from. A small smile played on her face as she put her hand on Kagome's lower back to make sure she was steady. Today would be the beginning of something spectacular and Leila was full of happiness and excitement for her mistress and friend.

The walk took longer than Kagome ever thought it could. If she didn't know any better Kagome would have sworn the hallway had been put under a spell to double its length. By the time they arrived Kagome was already tired of the kimono and felt as if she were about to have a hot flash. She had always noticed that in almost all of the paintings of noble women always had a fan of some sort. It was no wonder if they always wore things like this; she needed a fan herself at this point.

As they reached the stairs Leila drew back and Kagome continued forward. Smiling the guards stepped aside and instantly Koji was at her side.

"May I, Kagome-sama?" he asked as he held out his hand to escort her down the steps and to her place on the dais slightly behind and to the right of Sesshomaru.

As she walked down to her spot Kagome smiled and nodded to the different lords and ladies as she made sure to keep her eyes slightly diverted so she would not look Sesshomaru directly in the eyes. After those few passionate kisses they had shared that night Sesshomaru had made a point to spend more time with her and also made a point to walk her to her rooms. When he did Sesshomaru always found a reason to come in every evening when he bid her goodnight .He always followed the sentiment with a kiss or nip to her neck, in most instances both, that left Kagome tingling all over.

It became a game of sorts to them, well to him mostly; when he was being facetious Sesshomaru would look at her with those smoldering eyes and give her a knowing smirk that would always make Kagome blush. She would not let him get her this time.

After she was seated and exchanged greetings and nods with everyone Kagome sat back and waited for the ceremony. Just as she was about to lean in and ask Sesshomaru a question the musical cue was sounded and Koji stepped forward once more to announce the arrival of the dignitaries.

"Announcing Ambassador Wada Hikaru of the East," he said in a clear voice as a youkai of indiscriminate age stepped forward. He was a portly man that was dressed in a formal Kimono of green and brown. He had beautiful green eyes that were warm and filled with mirth. When he bowed to Sesshomaru and then turned to smile and greet Kagome she decided instantly that he would be someone worth getting to know.

Once he took his seat the next dignitary was announced.

"Announcing Ambassador Okamoto Teruna of the North," Koji then stated as a reptilian youkai then appeared. She was tall even for a demoness and as she walked stiffly down the aisle Kagome watched her taking stock of all those around her. It was only when she approached Sesshomaru she gave a sweet smile that never reached her eyes. Turning slightly to greet Kagome she continued to smile but her gray eyes took on a more predatory and calculating look, that seemed to linger just a bit longer than it should have, before she took her seat.

Returning her smile with a smile of her own Kagome made a mental point to be on guard with this woman and to find out what her story was. Kagome was also curious as to exactly what kind of reptile youkai she was. Okamoto Teruna did not seem dangerous per say, especially compared to Kagome's abilities but there was something about her that to Kagome just didn't seem right.

As the next was announced Kagome started getting fidgety and was ready for the festival to start. She really wanted to get down to the actual meeting before she died of curiosity. She had forgotten how long introductions were at these formal things. Letting her mind wander Kagome was taken by surprise when she heard her name.

"…Higurashi Shippo representing the west."

It was at that moment that Kagome saw the most beautiful youkai she had ever seen, her son. It was an instant struggle for Kagome to stay seated and not rush up to meet him. As he walked down the aisle they locked eyes and he gave a smile that had Kagome's eyes misting.

Watching him as he moved closer Kagome took in the sight of her man child. He had grown at least another inch since she had last seen him so that now he was just a little shorter than Sesshomaru. His long orange hair had been tamed and brushed until shining as it hung in tight waves from his low ponytail. He had thinned out as he had grown; the last time she had seen him Shippo still had a little chubbiness to him. Now the baby fat was gone and his face looked narrower and his cheeks had sunk in a bit. Although she would know him anywhere Kagome marveled at this youkai that had taken the place of her little Shippo. His eyes however, had stayed the same. They were just as radiant as they had always been only now guarded and wise but she could still see the mischief that swirled in those emerald depths.

Shippo nodded to all those he passed and bowed deeply to Sesshomaru before he smiled at Kagome uttering a low, "hello mother" before he took his seat.

If she was fidgety before Kagome was doubly so now, forget the meeting. Her only wish at this point was for them to get started so it would be over and she could talk to and hug her son.

Once everyone was seated it was then Sesshomaru's turn to stand and greet everyone.

As he stood the few small murmurs had all ceased as everyone waited for Sesshomaru to start. Looking around slowly as he made eye contact with all in attendance to insure their complete attention Sesshomaru then gave a nod once he was satisfied.

"Hn, now that we are all here I will explain the need to meet this esteemed group of youkai. As many of you have noticed the human population has grown expeditiously. As things change and the world moves on there will be a need more than ever to come together in a combined effort to make sure youkai continue to have a place in this new world. In expectation of this I put together this group making sure to include a representative from each land and sent them abroad. They have been learning new techniques in everything from fighting styles to farming. Their job has also been to seek out any of the other factions on the different continents to offer a treaty so that we may help one another. They are currently working on a central base of operations where we will be able to communicate across the globe, keep records, and help with any and all advances for our race. This is why you have all been asked here for input and information sharing."

As he looked about to see several nods from the crowd Sesshomaru then continued. Many of the beings in attendance already knew of the matter but everyone needed to be on the same page and Sesshomaru was one that did not like misunderstandings. Misunderstandings led to war.

"Now for the second matter at hand. Normally this would be done after all negotiations have ceased however this matter changes certain alliances and as such needs to be addressed first." Sesshomaru once again waited as a few low murmurs and questions floated through the crowd. Even Kagome looked on with more attention as her curiosity was once again peaked.

Sesshomaru then turned his head slightly to the right and extended his hand towards Kagome. Looking at him full on for the first time since she had come in to the grand hall Kagome allowed him to see her confusion just for a second before she schooled her features and stood up gracefully, allowing herself to be pulled to his side.

"I Sesshomaru, Lord of the Western Lands first born of the Great and Terrible General Taishio am stating my claim to mate with The Miko Higurashi Kagome, protector of the Shikon No Tama. I intend to strengthen the powers of the West even more as my blood mixes with one of holy powers making any heir to the west impervious to the only real threat to Youkai. Now as is tradition we shall eat and rest. The banquet has been prepared and then you may retire to your rooms if need be. We will not be convening again to discuss matters until noon tomorrow."

With a slight raise of his hand several servants appeared and lined up against the wall. At that Sesshomaru walked to the right passed the hall that had been decorated lavishly for the banquet and headed straight for his chambers dragging along a very red and dazed Kagome.

**oOo**

**Ok guys tell me what you think. I really tried to keep it up to snuff but I might have failed a little. This one I wrote and rewrote and still couldn't seem to jump back in like I wanted. Any and all suggestions will be welcome. Also I wanted to thank everyone for the many words of comfort and concern I cannot tell you how much it meant to me or how much it helped. Thanks.**


	29. Chapter 29

**Her Heart's Winter Thaw**

** By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

Chapter 28 No More Misunderstandings

It wasn't until the door shut that Kagome finally found her voice. Her mouth rushing to catch up with her racing thoughts Kagome finally started to protest as she pulled away from Sesshomaru. "Wait Sess. What is going on and why are we in here?" With her wrist finally free Kagome continued to move forward in the room, her back towards Sesshomaru as she continued rambling. "And just what was with that announcement? I mean, don't get me wrong I am happy but I am surprised. I …," Kagome's words died in her throat when she turned to see something that shook her to her very core.

Lord Sesshomaru, the fear inspiring killing perfection, was down on one knee wearing a look that was so intense it was simultaneously as frightening as it was endearing. For a moment all Kagome could do was stand there with her mouth agape as she struggled to find her words once again.

As he extended one hand towards her, Kagome whose tongue had suddenly turned to cotton in her mouth, could do nothing more than move forward and grasp the hand offered her. For a moment all was quiet with the exception of a shaky inhale that came from Kagome as her body once again started breathing. Kagome slowly moved forward as if she were in a dream, a part of her insisting it actually was. Whatever this was, Kagome was afraid to say or do anything that would interrupt this moment for she was certain this was a sight she would never witness again.

On his knees Sesshomaru was only a little shorter than Kagome, thanks to her small stature, and as she watched his much larger hand engulf hers Kagome could only look on in wonder. How strange it was to be the one looking down on him. Even from this position however, the Daiyoukai could never be seen as weak as his calmness and poise radiated strength and confidence. Had Kagome not been around him so much she would not have noticed the small fluxes in his aura at all. That was the main thing that gave her pause because if Sesshomaru was nervous this must be something serious.

Was it her? Was she supposed to say something? Kagome shook her head slightly as she dismissed that thought as quickly as it came. It still didn't stop her from wracking her brain as she tried to come up with a reason for his odd behavior but all thoughts ceased when she was pulled flush with him and embraced.

Kagome could do nothing but close her eyes and smile as she enjoyed the comfort and warmth his embrace offered. The soft rumbling that filtered through from him to her further put her at ease as she molded herself to him. Kagome was so lost in the many sensations his embrace caused that she gave a small whine of protest when Sesshomaru spoke in a soft tone breaking the spell he had so effortlessly cast.

After mentally giving himself a pat on the back at the reactions he could evoke in her Sesshomaru spoke again a little louder this time.

"Kagome, I made a mistake before that I promised I would never repeat," Sesshomaru started. As he read her expression Sesshomaru used his forefinger to trace Kagome's face starting from her temple until he reached her chin where he cupped her face gently. "There can be no misunderstandings between us ever again. I do care for you very much and wish you to be my mate. Understand that If the whole world was against it my mind and heart still would not be swayed."

Nodding Kagome looked down on him. Smiling for him to continue Kagome then tucked a stray hair the color of spun silver mixed with moon glow behind his perfect elfin like ear and waited to see just where this was going.

"During the announcement I only mentioned the power and prestige you would bring to the West. Do not think this has anything to do with why I have asked you to become my mate. This is how things are done with youkai. As you know rarely, if ever do we mate for love. It is always to strengthen alliances and form treaties. This coupled with the fact that you are nigen is why I have chosen to handle things this way. There are many that have long coveted the position you now hold. Some rulers have schooled their daughters from infancy on what they feel would be my likes and preferences in order to have a foothold in the west. If anyone is foolish to wage war over this then it is their death wish but as ruler I must do what I can to try to maintain peace. Even wars won bring losses if not to soldiers to lands and crops."

"I understand," Kagome said softly as understanding hit her. "You didn't have to explain but I am glad you did? But Sesshomaru why now? I mean of course I am pleasantly surprised but I thought we had to get all the other things out the way with the digni…..Shippo," Kagome said a little sharper than she had meant to.

Everything had happened so fast she had forgotten about her son. Wait, she was just proposed to, for all intents and purposes in front of her son. Oh, Kami what he must think? She hadn't even told him they were even talking about courting much less mating. Some mother she was. That was a fine introduction to things after she had not seen him in forever.

"Shippo is fine you will get to speak to him soon," Sesshomaru said knowingly as he read the worry in her aura.

Smiling, his eyes shining with mischief Sesshomaru asked, "Why do you think I waited? How could I ask you to be my mate without your pup present? He has already given his consent and was aware of what has been happening."

At his statement Kagome's mind was now reeling. When did all this happen? Where was she when all this had been going on?

"When did…?" Kagome started to ask only to be silenced by Sesshomaru's lips. Kagome continued to try to talk for a moment longer but soon not only gave in but started to return his kiss with fervor. Sesshomaru again growled deep in his chest this time accompanying it with a nip to her bottom lip drawing a small amount of blood. Masterfully drawing a canine across his own without breaking stride Sesshomaru then deepened the kiss as he grabbed the back of her neck carefully. It wouldn't do to rip her Kimono just yet the night was still young.

When Sesshomaru pulled back he looked on with a smile at his beautiful mate to be. She was absolutely breathtaking at that moment. A few tendrils of hair had fallen loose, despite his efforts to be careful, her face was flushed from their exertions and her pink swollen lips were parted ever so slightly as she struggled to regain her composure. Sesshomaru then took her left hand in his as after another nip and kiss to the second to last finger slipped on a ring.

At the sensation of the ring sliding onto her finger Kagome's half mast eyes widened as she was suddenly very alert and looking down at one the most beautifully crafted rings she had ever laid eyes on. The ring was nothing too elaborate but it far from plain. It was a beautifully carved ring of gold and rock crystal. In the middle was a pearl that was encircled on each side by a half moon of gold that was encrusted with diamonds. Kagome's eyes misted ever so slightly as she said, "It is beautiful Sesshomaru, thank you but you didn't have to do this. It must have been very expensive and I know you can afford it but still this is a lot. But youkai don't really give rings for this kind of occasion do they? " Kagome then held her hand out palm down to see how it looked on her finger and she had to admit it looked pretty good on there. The candle's light caught the diamonds and reflected back a myriad of colors and the band she noticed was not a simple circle but intricately carved lotuses connected all around.

As he watched Kagome's admiration Sesshomaru explained, "I had Totosai craft this using my fang and one of Shippo's so it will also serve as a protection for you. As for the ring itself, you are to be my mate but you are still nigen. I offer this to you in acknowledgement of your traditions and in honor of your heritage. Now we must get back to the banquet. It is customary for the two intended mates to exchange blood in a private ceremony that will start the courting process but we have been gone for much longer than usual and I am sure your pup would like to have a few words with you. Until later," Sesshomaru whispered huskily.

Standing to his full height Sesshomaru then made quick work of straightening up Kagome's kimono and then tucking the few escaping strands back into their respective places. Turning towards the mirror to give his own self a once over Sesshomaru then held his arm out for Kagome to take and then led them back to the banquet hall. As she watched him Check himself out in the mirror Kagome had to marvel at Sesshomaru's easy transition back to his normal distant self whereas she felt so giddy she could hardly keep from grinning like the town idiot. Kagome was so swept away with everything that she just nodded and followed Sesshomaru's lead, the whole blood exchange comment going completely over head. For a moment something in the back of her mind started to nag her but Kagome quickly pushed it away. She had much more important things to think about.

**oOo**

As they re-entered the banquet hall all noise ceased and the many servants swiftly weaving through the many tables carrying trays of every type of food and drink one could imagine stopped and bowed slightly. Then a round of applause erupted from the many tables around the hall that did not stop until the two reached the dais at the end of the walkway. Sesshomaru stood at the dais and gave a nod of thanks to all in attendance as he escorted Kagome to her seat next to Shippo.

Once they were seated all activity resumed and servants started to bombard their Lord and Lady with the many delicacies they had. There were bowls of steaming miso, fresh fruits of all kinds, breads, fish, rice, boar, and deer both cooked and uncooked. Absently nodding to the servant carrying the Sashimi Kagome caught hold of Shippo's hand while she waited for the woman to move after depositing three pieces of the salmon and tuna on her plate.

Giving her hand a squeeze Shippo stated facetiously, "So mother you left out a few things in your letters, huh?"

"Your one to talk, Mr. Higurashi," Kagome countered as she fought down the blush that was already rising. Of course she was flattered and deeply moved her son had chosen to take on her name, especially as that wasn't even a thing that they did yet, but she was curious as to why had had made such a decision.

"I thought it was time that everyone knew of what family I come from as well as where my loyalties lay. Though it looks like we both will be changing ours soon," Shippo said with a mischievous grin as his eyes danced with mirth.

"You know you're not too old to be grounded young man, Kagome stated. At that Shippo's laughter rung throughout the hall making Kagome's heart swell almost to bursting. Kagome smiled as she thought to herself that it was about time the Kamis had remembered her and answered her prayers.

**oOo**

**That's it for now guys please let me know what you think. Any and all thoughts and constructive criticism is welcome.**


	30. Chapter 30

**Her Heart's Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Chapter 30 A Chat Long Overdue**

As soon as it was possible to leave without being rude Kagome grabbed a hold of Shippo and disappeared. On her way Kagome was stopped by a servant that quickly redirected her to what was apparently her new bed chamber. As promised Sesshomaru had moved her room next to his as soon as the intending mating was announced.

Kagome opened the doors to reveal a room that almost rivaled Sesshomaru's in beauty and with delight she noticed that all her things were already there. Sesshomaru must have had almost every servant that was not attending to the banquet to move her things for it to have been done so fast. She hated packing and unpacking things so for Kagome it was great, some stuff would have to be moved but all the tedious things had already been taken care of.

This room was even bigger and more elaborate than her previous one. As she looked around Kagome also noted that where the rooms were joined there was a double set shoji screens. She could only imagine the reason for this would be if the one on his side was closed while hers was open it would mean that one of them was in the mood for company and the other was not or vice versa. Sesshomaru also could have had it put in to give her some privacy for when she dressed. Kagome would never understand Youkai's freedom with their bodies or their openness with anyone seeing their nudity. Yeah his body was gorgeous but that didn't mean Sesshomaru should strut around showing it off to everybody either.

Looking around Kagome also noted that the room looked very bare now that there was so much more space. Of course she could go into her storage area and bring out some mementos that she did not previous have the room for but Kagome had no wish to do that. It hadn't even crossed her mind. Those things were linked to a life that was long gone. In this room she would have new mementos and make new memories there was no need for old ones.

Kagome started to walk over to another door to explore when she heard Shippo moving around behind her. He had gotten comfortable and was in the sitting room munching on an apple. Deciding that now was not the time to play explorer Kagome returned to Shippo's side and had a seat. There were many more important things to do right now like talking with her son. Looking over at the tray of fruit and nuts that had been left on the table Kagome grabbed up a few grapes and dates and then after popping them in her mouth turned and attacked Shippo.

**Later that evening with Shippo **

"It's like nothing I've ever felt before. Sometimes I look at him and get the urge to pinch myself when I see Sesshomaru and know that we are to be mated." Shippo smirked as he watched Kagome's face take on a radiance he'd long since forgotten along with the sparkle in her eyes that he feared had gone for good.

"And sometimes when he looks at me with such compassion my heart starts to speed up a few beats and I feel like a giddy teenager with her first crush." Kagome finished as she raised her hands to either cheek, as if rubbing them would remove the tint staining them by just the memory of one of Sesshomaru's heated looks.

There were no secrets between them and things had always been discussed frankly but this was still a little awkward for Kagome. Technically Shippo was older than her but he was still her son so Kagome was trying to balance telling Shippo what had been going on and how she felt without being too graphic. She was sure he could fill in any blanks she left.

"Well, I must admit that when I received the notice of intent to mate from Sesshomaru's messenger I was so surprised l almost killed him," Shippo stated nonchalantly.

At Kagome's wide eyed and horrified look Shippo couldn't help but laugh. Shippo shook his head and waved his hands in front of him in a soothing way to try to let Kagome know all was well while still trying to stifle the laughs brought on by her horrified expression. Pulling himself together Shippo was finally able to continue. "Calm down its o.k. Just let me explain. Well, we were camping outside one the panther youkai cities. We have a truce with them but I felt better staying outside the city to rest and since we were headed out soon when they offered us accommodations we kindly declined. So you see we already had our guard up with the messenger arrived."

Shippo paused for a moment to make sure Kagome was following and at her slight nod he continued, "You see I had only met the messenger a few times and once I read the message it only stood to reason that his loyalties had been compromised and that it must have been some sort of set up."

Concern still marring her face Kagome then asked, "Well what happened to the messenger? Is he alright?"

As he started to smooth out his tail with his claws, it was left quite a mess after his mothers all too enthusiastic tackle, Shippo continued. "He is now but it did take him a few days to heal. You see I told him to join me in my tent where I then activated one of the many traps I enchanted it with and imprisoned him for a time. After extensive questioning and more than a little fox fire his story was still the same. As a matter of fact I was about to up the torture when I was informed that a second messenger had been sent."

"It was only upon setting eyes on this messenger that I set the first one free, after a short trip to our healers of course. It was she whom I knew to be faithful and trustworthy that really convinced me. Well, that and the fact that she smelled so strongly of you I knew the message was real. Of course then I had to read it over and over again until my brain would finally accept the news."

Nodding in understanding Kagome then asked, "So you were as surprised as I was then?"

His emerald eyes sparkled as he looked at her and smirked what Kagome thought of as his signature smirk. For a moment it made him look once again like the little fox cub that had ridden in her basket those many years ago.

After a moment of consideration Shippo answered, "Yes but not for the reason you were."

Her eyebrows scrunched in question but before she could ask the question burning on her tongue Shippo continued.

"I never really thought he would ever put his stubbornness aside enough to admit his feelings to himself, and certainly never to you. After all this time I guess I should know better than to underestimate Sesshomaru in any way," Shippo laughed.

"You knew too?" Kagome asked incredulously. For the life of her Kagome could not understand how everyone seemed to see what she never could. Had she really been that out of sync that she noticed nothing that went on around her? Apparently. As she thought over Shippo's words and how things had changed so much in what seemed like such a short amount of time a thought hit her.

Before this never in a million years could Kagome ever imagine feeling like this for anyone, especially Sesshomaru. Now, however, she couldn't imagine her life without him. Just the thought that things could have gone so much differently and that she might never have had the chance to know him in such a way gave her a cold chill. Of course never before could she have imagined he could be so wonderful and kind to anyone, with the exception of Rin but she was his pup.

Sesshomaru was so different than anything Kagome could have imagined. He was affectionate yet perverted; strong yet yielding and all at the same time. Kagome felt she had been caught up in some kind of fairytale whirlwind romance. A part of her insisting this was not real and she would come crashing back down to earth at any moment; waking up to find that this was all just a dream. As she followed along that line of thoughts Kagome then realized something else that she should have seen.

"Wait a minute the second messenger that came. You said it was a she and that she smelled strongly of me. Her name wouldn't happen to be Leila would it?" Kagome asked. Suddenly all those sudden disappearances and other duties Sesshomaru assigned her from time to time was starting to make sense. Kagome didn't have to wait for Shippo's confirmation to know she was right. Everything was starting to make sense now that she had the missing piece of the puzzle.

"Well, I'll be dammed. I should have known." Kagome said more to herself than Shippo as she shook her head. Some things Sesshomaru seemed to know about her customs and preferences seemed almost surreal and now she know why. It would take someone like Leila that could get Shippo talking about Kagome to inference things and read between the lines and yet know enough about her personality to help Sesshomaru understand and know what she would like.

The two continued to talk into late in the night until Shippo left claiming he needed to sleep. His excuse was that if he stayed in the room with her they would end up talking all night but Kagome had seen his expression. It was more likely if he stayed up much longer with her that he would miss meeting up with that raven haired fox from earlier. Kagome had not failed to notice that during dinner the fox demoness had kept peeking at Shippo making sure to swish her tails about in what Kagome was sure a seductive way for fox demons.

She was tempted to call him on it but she would let him have his fun tonight. They had not spoken much of his love life yet but turnabout was fair play and she was his mother after all. It was her duty to find out what her grown kit had been up to and make sure he was with someone worthy. Kagome couldn't help but smirk at the horrified face she was sure he would make once she started to pry.

Kagome sat on the chair with a grin as she absently brushed out her hair while her thoughts ran away with her. She had not realized she was still sitting in the same spot until she was brought out of her revelries by a knock on the shoji screen that separated her and Sesshomaru's rooms.

"Come in Sess," Kagome answered as she closed her robe more tightly around her. The one she had originally brought had long since been laid to rest but Kagome had the seamstress make her one that was almost identical to the one her mother had given her before she left. This one however, would last forever as it was woven with demon silk and had enchantments similar to those for Sesshomaru's clothes to keep it clean and neat.

As he stepped into the room Sesshomaru's eyes immediately locked with Kagome's. Reaching out for her hand Sesshomaru then pulled Kagome to her feet and into his embrace.

"I hope I am not disturbing you but once I felt your kits youkai leave I thought I would come in and bid you goodnight."

"Thank you for giving us time alone I hadn't realized how much I missed him. Even if we didn't talk I just needed to look at him for a while," Kagome smiled.

"Hn, no thanks are needed Kagome. He is your kit," Sesshomaru said as his claws slowly trailed down her spine and settled low on her hips lighting a fire in its wake. Kagome could do nothing but shudder at the sensation as she looked deep into those beautiful captivating eyes.

Lowering his head Sesshomaru then captured her lips. With a deep groan Kagome opened her mouth giving him full access into her moist cavern. As he pulled her even closer to him Kagome hands started to move of their own accord as she brought them up to tangle themselves in his silky tresses. Growling his approval Sesshomaru then broke of the kiss and nuzzled her head pushing it to the side to bare her neck.

As he trailed kisses from the corner of her mouth down to her pulse point Sesshomaru bit down a little harder than he had meant, as he was startled by the wonderful sensation of Kagome's blunt nails scratching against his scalp. After licking the few drops of blood that had escaped and healing the wound with his saliva Sesshomaru once again grazed the inside of his lip causing a few drops of his own blood to escape and then kissed Kagome full on the lips once more.

Pulling back he then bid her a goodnight and turned to leave when he heard Kagome call him back.

"Sess, earlier you said something about a blood exchange and just now you ingested my blood for what I know has to be the third time. I know I have tasted yours a few times as we have kissed as well. I thought that we do that all at once during the mating. Is this something else that I was not informed of?" Kagome asked.

Returning to her side Sesshomaru ran a clawed finger down her face stopping at her jaw line and then used his thumb to gently rub her swollen lips.

"Well if you like we could do it the traditional way. I bite you and you bite me but with you being a human and a miko I am not sure just how much pain would be involved in trying to merge your yaki with my youkai all at once. Our auras will clash either way but given that this has never been tried it would be safer and I'm sure a lot less painful for you to start ingesting my blood a little at a time. Though ," he said in a huskier voice, "if the thought of pain excites you that much I would be happy to oblige."

To accent his statement Sesshomaru once again nipped Kagome's neck , drawing blood, as he brought up his left hand to run a claw over the area of her robe that hid her nipple from him. Sesshomaru was more than a little pleased at the spike of arousal coming off of Kagome. Inhaling her scent deeply Sesshomaru closed his eyes momentarily to fully enjoy the heady smell.

Kagome moaned at the intense feelings Sesshomaru caused. Not one to be really into any kind of S&M she was pleasantly surprised at how turned on she got when Sesshomaru ran his fangs across her skin just enough to break the skin a little followed up by lavishing the area with his tongue. The mix of pain and pleasure along with his claws running up and down her body pinching and squeezing here and there was almost too much. Kagome was tempted just to ask him to stop with all the foreplay and just fill her already.

Sesshomaru for his part was happy with Kagome's reaction to his ministrations. Whereas he would be gentle with her given her human body; he was after all inu. Inus loved to take the dominant position and nip and bite their bitches. With his strength even while being careful she still might suffer a few scratches here and there. So, with what he had learned Sesshomaru was indeed looking forward to taking her in the Inu position and being able to let go at least a bit.

It was not that he thought Kagome was not strong enough to handle it, Sesshomaru worried she might not find it as erotic as he did. However, her reaction led him to believe that eventually he would be able to increase he actions to the point where she would not be hurt at all even if he let go completely. Being not only a full youkai but a Daiyoukai at that Sesshomaru was not completely sure how far Kagome would be able to go. He had planned to discuss it but due to her weird modesty every time he had broached the subject they never got far into the conversation before she ended it or changed topics.

It seemed he was more apt to learn by experimenting rather than trying to sit and talk with her. This was something he could handle; after all he was always more hands on when it came to things. This would be no different, save for the fact that it would be much more enjoyable than most of the tasks Sesshomaru was charged with.

With one last squeeze and lusty growl Sesshomaru once again bid Kagome goodnight and took his leave before Kagome could take notice of his sanguine eyes. Closing the shoji screen once more Sesshomaru silently thanked the Kami both for his self control and that the mating was not far off.

**oOo**

**Well, that's it guys. It's not the greatest but It is a least bearable I hope. I promise I will try not to take so long with the next chapter. I am also trying to figure out how to move the story along and incorporate the time changes without going into too much history. Any ideas are very welcome and as always let me know what you think. ^_^**


	31. Chapter 31

**Her Heart's Winter Thaw**

** By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Chapter 31 At Long Last**

Kagome couldn't stop pacing in anticipation. She fought the urge to bite her fingernails as had been her habit for years. The banquet had finally ended and all the guests had retired to their rooms. Now all Kagome had to do was to wait for Sesshomaru to come. She was giddy with anticipation but also dreading this.

For one dark moment thoughts of Inuyasha flooded her brain. How could she go through with this, would it be the same? How could she look at Sesshomaru and not think of Inuyasha, if no more than because of the hair. That was when Sesshomaru strode through the door. His eyes the most beautiful she had ever seen them. They were his usual light amber but streaked with red that when hit by the candlelight made it look like they were glowing from within. As he entered those eyes locked on her with an intensity that was palpable and Kagome couldn't help but give an involuntary shutter.

That was when all thoughts of Inuyasha or anything else for that matter left her. Looking into those eyes Kagome realized two things instantly. The first thing being that nothing would ever be the same. Though they favored some it was in the way that dragon fruit all look alike. All dragon fruit look alike from a distance but that was where the similarities pretty much ended. Some were more vibrant, some smaller than others, the texture was slightly varied,etc…

Their differences however, were as vast and opposite as fire and water. She also was not the same. The person she had been all those years ago and the person she was now was totally different. Nothing ever was the same nor could it ever be, how could it be if people were constantly growing and changing.

The second thing was that she loved this demon with all her heart and soul. She was his completely and it was with great pride and happiness that Kagome realized that it was the same for him. As much as she was his he was hers. The tingling Kagome had been feeling all night suddenly intensified as it traveled down her body to pool in her lower belly. Kagome's body instantly started to heat up under his unwavering gaze.

Sesshomaru crossed the room slowly as if to savor every moment. Gently cupping Kagome's face he stared into her eyes to make sure there was no hesitation before he lowered his mouth to hers. He had meant it to be a gentle kiss but it soon deepened as he used his incredibly long and dexterous tongue to explore every inch of her sweet mouth. Her moans were like a symphony to him. Using his other hand Sesshomaru quickly vested himself of his clothing with Kagome's help. Her nails, usually quite blunt, were somehow sharp and were scratching his shoulders and back deliciously rendering all Sesshomaru's well laid plans null in void.

He had waited forever for this female and now she was his. Sesshomaru did speak more now and converse but he would always be a demon of action and tonight he planned to show Kagome just how much he wanted and loved her.

Sesshomaru reached into the opening of her kimono, his claws hooking into all the layers at once, and in one swift motion cut it from Kagome's body. As he pulled back to look at her Sesshomaru's eyes widened, Kagome was nude and her body beautiful. Kagome always wore undergarments under her things, she was quite obsessive about having panties and bras but for him she had done this. Sesshomaru smiled but it soon took on a predatory look as the full smell of Kagome's arousal hit him. Her sex wet with anticipation of him was like ambrosia.

In one swift motion Sesshomaru had them both on the bed his need for Kagome painful at this point. Trying to control himself he kissed Kagome again, nibbling on her lip and sucking her blood. He then moved down her throat to the spot right over her pulse where he would mark her. As he continued to lick and bite his way down her body Sesshomaru leaned back on his left elbow so that he could used his right hand to caress her breasts. He pinched her nipple and twisted just a bit and was rewarded with a gasp and more moans. Kagome writhed under him her small legs trying to wrap around his much larger ones in order to speed him up.

"Sess, please I don't … think I can wait anymore," Kagome panted earning a half growl half laugh from Sesshomaru.

In a voice much deeper than usual Sesshomaru whispered in her ear, "Not just yet my love. Now you know some of what I have felt."

After a quick bite and lick to Kagome's earlobe Sesshomaru moved his mouth back down to Kagome's breast the right hand now moving lower to trace circles on her stomach. As her scent got even stronger Sesshomaru decided he had played enough and placed a hand on Kagome's chest to keep her down. Moving further down to his goal Sesshomaru put his nose against those luscious lower lips and inhaled deeply.

Not caring about drawing this out anymore as he was losing control very quickly now Sesshomaru stabbed Kagome with his tongue over and over again moving it around until he found a spot that had Kagome trying to rise of the bed thus moving his target away from him. Pulling with both hands Sesshomaru brought Kagome even closer putting an arm under each thigh and wrapping around them to spread her legs even more. Lapping at the juices leaking out from his ministrations Sesshomaru then moved up to that little pearl he knew would be her undoing. Sesshomaru used his all his skills to lick, suck and tease the hardening pearl until Kagome cried out from the powerful orgasm that had her body trembling.

Knowing she was more than ready Sesshomaru moved up to position himself at Kagome's entrance and in one quick thrust entered her. Staying still for a moment to allow her to adjust Sesshomaru closed his eyes both in pleasure and to focus himself. Even staying still those velvety walls had such a tight grip on him that he could swear she was tightening up more with every breath. As he started to slowly move Kagome decided it was time to help Sesshomaru move it along and started to thrust up to meet him urging Sesshomaru to pick up a faster pace. Kagome then started scratching and biting his chest as she moved begging Sesshomaru to make her his completely.

Sesshomaru was not much for women talking during rutting but the strange mix of Kagome's biting, scratching and pleas were wonderful. However, when she started to move her hips up to meet him thrust for thrust Sesshomaru had then reached his limit. He then started to pump into Kagome with such speed she could no longer keep up as she panted and her body began to once again spasm with pleasure.

With a mighty roar Sesshomaru flipped them over so that Kagome was one her hands and knees with him pounding into her with abandon. Kagome's moans and cries were even louder now as this position allowed even deeper penetration and Sesshomaru found this even more arousing.

He was extremely pleased when he ran a clawed hand down from her shoulder to her hip drawing just enough blood to sting a little and smelled Kagome's arousal get even stronger. Still never stopping Sesshomaru bent over and then licked the scratches only to do it again on the other side. The smell of her blood mixed with the feel of her walls trying to squeeze the life out of him was finally too much and Sesshomaru came with a roar that was heard throughout the castle as he bit down on Kagome's neck marking her as his own forever.

Kagome collapsed forward exhausted but sated. Sesshomaru lay down beside her and pulled Kagome flush against him as he began to lick the blood off her neck. As she moved around about to get comfortable Kagome drifted off with a smile.

She was in a garden but there were manicurist there and they were doing her nails and feet. Someone else was rubbing her back and Kagome felt as if she had died and gone to heaven. She was so relaxed, that was until someone behind started to poke her. She tried to ignore it and kept her eyes closed but the person was quite persistent and suddenly the garden went away and as she woke up in degrees Kagome remembered where she was and who was holding her trying to get her to wake.

"Kagome, you must wake it is time for you to eat," Sesshomaru said in a voice softer than Kagome had ever heard it before.

"Hm, is it morning already my mate?" Kagome asked as she turned to him slightly stretching as she did. She loved the way the word mate felt. Looking past Sesshomaru Kagome took in the sky. It didn't look like it was time to get up. The sky was still very dark but maybe it was because she was still half asleep.

"No it will not be daylight for four more hours yet but we are not finished. You must eat so that you can keep up your strength," Sesshomaru said as he fed Kagome some fruit.

Kagome's brain was still not working yet because for the life of her she couldn't figure out what else they would have to do, that could not wait until tomorrow.

"What else do we need to do? Please don't tell me there is a ceremony for after the mating has been consummated," Kagome said only half joking. It would just be her luck that there would be and she would have to drag her butt out of bed, get dressed, and have to meet with and smile at people when she was so tired so thought she would die from sleep deprivation.

His eyes flashed then, as he sported another predatory grin. Sesshomaru said huskily, "Who said we were done with the consummation? That was just the beginning and very rushed. Now that I have gotten my beast under control once more I can take my time and show you how this Sesshomaru truly treats what is his," Sesshomaru said accenting the statement with a kiss as his hands slid between her legs.

Kagome half groaned and half moaned as her body once again started to react to Sesshomaru. One thought prevalent before he erased everything from her mind for good.

_Oh Kami, I can't think of any better way to die. If I am going to die of exhaustion let it be like this._

**Hi Guys I know it's been a while hopefully I am getting back in the swing of things but don't worry I will not abandon this story. I know Sesshomaru slipped back into his third person for a moment but the way I look at it he spoke that way for centuries. Every now and again it is bound to pop up. I hope this chapter lives up to the rest I am still quite new at lemons and limes and not sure if it worked or not. As always ideas and constructive criticism is always welcome. Please review and let me know what you think. ^_^**


	32. Chapter 32

**Her Heart's Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Suprise! It seems I am not dead afterall. I really am sorry about not updating in so long but life has been whipping my tail. I didn't realize it had been sooo long though. For those of you that have stayed with me thank you. Also to answer a few people's questions yes I absolutely will finish this story. This is not betaed so please forgive any errors.**

**Chapter 32**

Kagome sighed happily as she nuzzled further into her pillow trying to fight her body's rise into consciousness. When she realized it was a losing battle Kagome slowly opened her eyes as she stretched her aching limbs. As flashes of her previous night returned to her Kagome could only blush and bite her lip as heat began to once again pool in her lower regions. _Sesshomaru_, she thought as her hand slipped down between her legs. As sore as she was Kagome still ached for him to fill her once again.

At first everything was in frenzy, both of them trying desperately to douse the fires in each other's bodies. Sesshomaru was beautiful, commanding, and unforgiving as he claimed her bringing her to the point of ecstasy again and again. Showing his dominance and his true bestial nature he alternated between biting, scratching, and clawing her body only to turn around and lavish the area with his tongue. It was a new and erotic sensation that Kagome found she liked quite a bit.

Once their initial fires had been doused Kagome collapsed in contentment already turning to snuggle against Sesshomaru to sleep. Remembering her surprised reaction once Sesshomaru made it clear that he was in no way finished Kagome could only smile. The second time he was still as demanding only gentler and there were more caresses and kisses that left her breathless. Kagome was in awe of this more passionate side of Sesshomaru that she never would have even imagined existed. It was a side she was sure none had ever seen and now only she would have the privilege to see behind closed doors.

As she did a mental inventory of her body Kagome could only thank the Kami's for her healing ability because she was quite certain without them she would not be able to move for a while. After one last sigh Kagome heaved herself out of bed and headed to the bathing chambers. She knew upon waking that Sesshomaru had already left to attend to his duties because his aura was not brushing against hers but now as she walked she reached out to his to let him know she was up and would be on her way to him. Kagome could only smile when she felt his aura spike and reach out to hers as well.

Feeling clean and refreshed Kagome dressed and then headed out to the sitting area to find Leila waiting for her with breakfast. "Good morning Kagome, I thought you would like something to help you regain your strength," Leila said facetiously with a grin.

"Good morning to you Leila," Kagome replied as she tried to stop the blush that crept up her cheeks at Leila's knowing smile. She mentally slapped herself for allowing Leila to pick with her. There was nothing to be shy about, people married/ mated everyday especially in her time but Kagome couldn't help it. This was Sesshomaru and with a castle full of youkai she was sure everyone had heard her screams of pleasure. Kagome had to remind herself to speak to Sesshomaru about adding a type of sound barrier around their living quarters.

After a moment of silence they both broke out laughing as they embraced. "May I formally congratulate you Kagome, Lady of the West on your mating," Leila said and kissed Kagome on the cheek.

"Thank you," Kagome replied as she sat down at the table, her legs tucked under her. Kagome looked over the wonderful spread of fresh fruits, nuts, rice and soups that were before her, trying to decide just which one she would start off with. Leila was already pouring tea for her mistress and herself when Kagome looked at Leila questionably and asked, "So how have you been and what's been going on? With all the ceremonies and the mating I feel like we have just been passing each other. I miss talking with you."

"Well," Leila began as they both fell into easy conversation. After a few hours Kagome once again reached out for Sesshomaru's youkai and followed it to the training grounds.

Sesshomaru was standing at the outermost border that surrounded the large sparing area. His back was ramrod straight and his hair was in a low ponytail that swayed beautifully in the breeze. He was wearing his signature white hakama's and haori. Again Kagome made another mental note (_maybe she should start writing this stuff down_). Now that she had access to his room and closet Kagome was determined to find out exactly how many of the same clothes Sesshomaru had. He was definitely not the kind to wear the same thing every day if in his own home so she was willing to bet he had at least four of the same outfits.

As she came up beside him Kagome followed the direction Sesshomaru was looking in and spotted Shippo. She watched as her son demonstrated some of the new fighting techniques he learned while abroad visiting other youkai groups. He was squaring off with Hiroku, who was holding his own quite well but it was easy to see from the strain on his face and the slight quivering of the muscles in both his arms and legs as he stood in a defensive stance that he was quickly tiring.

"He really has grown so much," Kagome stated as she watched Shippo leap into the air using his tails to strike out at Hiroku. "Hn," Sesshomaru said as too watched the demonstration; his pride in his kit obvious to anyone who knew what to look for.

"So, how are you this morning my mate?" Sesshomaru asked as he finally turned to look at Kagome. She noticed happily that the corners of his mouth softened ever so slightly giving her an almost smile. It came and left so quickly that no one else would have noticed but Kagome caught it right away. At least that put some of her fears to rest about how he would react when not in close quarters. So far it seemed that he would at least let some small amount of emotion show instead of being like tow different people, warm and expressive in the bedroom and cold and distant outside of it. A little voice in the back of her head told Kagome that it was only the first day as mates and that he would go back to being the same emotionless Sesshomaru given time but Kagome quickly silenced that voice. She would not let her own paranoia and negativity destroy the happiness she had finally found after so long. She knew it was her fear of being heartbroken again that was trying to cause her doubts but Kagome was determined to ignore them. She once again focused on what Sesshomaru was saying and heard him continuing.

"There are many things I need to do this morning however I have cleared my schedule for the afternoon I thought we should spend some time together."

"Things are about to get rather busy now and I would not want you to feel that I would neglect or ignore you in any way. Now that the mating is done and Shippo has returned with news I cannot hold off the meeting much longer. We have to make a decision on what steps we will take to prepare for the upcoming wars and ensure that youkai survive into your time. The next few days will be full of meetings, all of which you will be required to attend for your knowledge is key."

"Well what are we waiting for then, shouldn't we get started?" Kagome asked

Sesshomaru was quiet for a moment as he thought about what he was about to say. They hadn't talked much about pups and Sesshomaru knew Kagome and Inuyasha never had one though he never understood why. He did know however, that it was a tender spot for Kagome and even though she would never begrudge anyone their happiness at the mention of pups she became very guarded. He could tell it hurt her. Sesshomaru thought it probably brought to mind the fact that she had never had any. Shippo of course was her pup but he knew Kagome wanted to give birth to her own. She was one of those females that looked forward to the growing and discomfort. Who wanted not just an heir to carry on the family name but several pups to be family. By now Sesshomaru shouldn't be surprised as that was just how she was but it was still a bit odd as demonesses as a whole dread that whole part of the process.

"As you might have noticed everyone attended but the Lord of the South," Sesshomaru stated evenly.

Kagome scrunched up her face is consideration, her face taking on a far off look as she tried to remember the ambassadors. There was the portly pleasant demon, of course her Shippo, and that horrid reptile woman. _Okay what did she do that would have her labeled as horrid?_ Kagome's mind asked. Well, she hadn't done anything to be labeled as such per say but Kagome certainly was getting a vibe off of her, or maybe it was just that lingering look she had given Sesshomaru. As she sat there thinking and having a personal conversation in her own head Kagome noticed a slight movement and her eyes tracked it to Sesshomaru's beautiful and sculptured lips. Her mind wanted to start to contemplate those more but that nagging voice in the back of head reminded her that they were supposed to be talking business. Refocusing once more Kagome answered.

"Um, yeah your right. There were only three."

"Hn," Sesshomaru confirmed. "The Southern Lord's mate just recently gave birth and it is because of this he will not leave his territory until the allotted has passed in which he deems safe."

"Why doesn't he just send someone in his place then?" Kagome asked. It seemed that that would be the reasonable thing to do. She didn't have all the demon politics down or even know half of what she would need to know as the Lady of the West but that was obviously what should have been done.

Shaking his head ever so slightly Sesshomaru went on to explain. "The Lord of the South does not have as many resources as the other Lords. There has been a lot of infighting in his kingdom and the many small wars have cost him many soldiers. We cannot proceed with this most important meeting, however without him or an ambassador being present," Sesshomaru stated giving Kagome a chance to let it sink in.

"He has agreed that he will allow his ambassador to leave once the soldiers I have sent to help guard his home arrive and are in place. At this point that is the only way since he cannot afford to spare even one of his men."

"How long will that take?" Kagome asked. The sooner they could get these meetings done the sooner everyone would be out of the castle and then just maybe she could get in some much deserved time with her new husband and mate. _Husband, _Kagome mused as she lifted her hand slightly to admire her ring.

"Three more days," Sesshomaru stated.

Kagome nodded as she thought about Sesshomaru's words. With everything else she could not believe she had forgotten that things were about to seriously change. That was the whole point of Shippo and the other delegates to unite the youkai in other countries as well. It was important that they learned how to adapt to the new world that was fast approaching. Changes had already begun it seemed overnight and the forest had already begun to shrink as more buildings were going up.

O.k. guys I hope you liked it. Let me know what you think.


	33. Chapter 33

**Her Heart's Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Chapter 33 You Again?**

The three days passed in a haze of craziness. Kagome had everything down to a certain kind of routine. In the morning Sesshomaru would eat breakfast with her before going to his office to handle his Lordly business. During that time Kagome went to the gym to spar with Hiroku and do her daily katas. Their relationship had become as easy going and playful as when she had first met him, much to Kagome's pleasure. She could only assume that once Hiroku got to know her as a person he realized he had been wrong in his earlier assessment of her. Kagome would never know that it was not until Hiroku himself had been claimed by a certain female demoness, unofficially of course, that Sesshomaru had stopped his threatening manor towards his chief whenever he worked with Kagome.

Sesshomaru would finish up sometime after Kagome finished and from there he would go into small meetings with the ambassadors and several others that had arrived. This was the time Kagome was to visit with the Ladies of the court along with their other guests. After going around socializing, fending off a plethora of questions, and trying to remember which name went to which demon along with which land Kagome then retreated to the quiet of her rooms where she would take lunch with either Leila or Shippo. The nights were reserved for Sesshomaru only. Once they had dinner with the myriad of guests still visiting they locked themselves up in their chambers. What Kagome loved was it was not always straight to the bedroom, make love and then sleep. Sometimes they sat for hours talking and trading stories or just snuggling. _Who ever thought that Sesshomaru would love to cuddle?_

Leila had been a little scarce as of late and Shippo was as well but Kagome knew part of it was that he was bogged down with many meetings. She suspected however, that when he wasn't in a meeting he was off with his fox friend. Kagome wouldn't necessarily call her his girlfriend but there was definitely something there. Kagome wasn't upset in the slightest but it was just another reminder of how fast he had grown and how much time had gone by.

Her name was Nyla. The demoness fox was just a few inches short of Shippo and very pretty. She had a patch of freckles that decorated her nose and warm intelligent eyes the color of hazelnut. Nyla was very polite and quiet if you didn't know her but when she got comfortable Kagome found her to be very boisterous and charming. She was fiercely independent but seemed to know when to let Shippo flex his manly muscles in order to stroke his ego. Kagome was quite impressed since these were lessons that had taken her much longer to learn. Nyla was also very curvy but did not have the need to flaunt it. Her clothes were modest and beautiful; there were no excessive jewelry or plunging necklines. If this was the female her son chose then Kagome would be honored to welcome her into the family.

That night Kagome and Sesshomaru were stretched out on the bed talking. It still amazed her how far he had come. At first he seemed a little stiff and awkward as if not sure what he should talk about. Once he started, however, words flowed. He literally had hundreds of years of stored up conversation and seemed determine to share it with her, not that Kagome minded in the least.

This would be their last uninterrupted night together for a while and Kagome wanted to savor every last moment. The ambassador for the south would be arriving in the morning and then the meetings would start. Sesshomaru was sitting with his back against the wall with his arms wrapped around Kagome. Kagome, who was sitting in between his legs, was leaning against Sesshomaru's chest. She could feel his strong and steady heartbeat through her back and thrum all throughout her body. They talked in spells and right now there was no need to say anything.

Over such a short time Kagome had become so comfortable with Sesshomaru that sometimes it felt as though they had been together for years instead of days. There was no need to have to find things to talk about or to entertain the other; just being in each other's company was enough. As Kagome lay there completely content a smile graced her lips. Sesshomaru noticing it bent his head forward and kissed the left side of Kagome's face up by her temple.

"What are you smiling about Kagome?" he asked softly.

Letting out a contented sigh Kagome reached up with her right hand and stroked Sesshomaru's face giggling a little when he nipped at her fingers.

"Nothing, just us. How much I love you. How good it feels to be in your arms. How happy you make me."

"Hn," Sesshomaru replied, "that does not sound like nothing."

"No it doesn't, does it?" Kagome agreed as she arched her back to stretch. Sesshomaru saw the movement but more importantly how beautifully shaped her breast was and how enticing they looked arched for his view like that. It automatically produced a growl from him that carried itself through Kagome's body and down her spine. Her nipples instantly got hard as that familiar need made her lower regions ache for attention.

Using his claws to gently scratch their way up from her stomach up to her breast to lightly tease her nipples Sesshomaru leaned down and inhaled Kagome's scent.

"It seems that our talking is done for the night as you seem ready for something else," he said in a deep and seductive voice.

"Something else?" Kagome asked feigning ignorance. It was a game she liked to play with him and Sesshomaru was more than willing to go along. It was a kind of cat and mouse seeing who would be the first to break under the others ministrations. Though this time Sesshomaru could tell the game would not last at all.

Sitting up straighter and bringing Kagome with him Sesshomaru then leaned her forward. Sesshomaru had his left hand around her waist rubbing in light circular motions while his right alternated between flicking, scratching, and kneading her nipples. Already Kagome had started to move her hips and grind into his groin and her breath had started to quicken. He bent his head down and started to lick and nip along her back working his way up to her collar bone towards her mating mark.

"Was. I. Mistaken. Kagome.?" He asked between nips with another growl that now had her moaning.

Her only answer was an involuntary buck of her hips as she moved her neck for better access to his mouth and moaned even louder.

"I'll take that as a no. I was not mistaken," Sesshomaru said as he used his hands to pick her up and deposit Kagome on her back.

Sesshomaru raised Kagome's arms above her head kissing and licking his way up as he went. Then without her noticing he reached beside the bed and brought up a silk obi. Expertly Sesshomaru tied her hands together and attached them to the bed post.

Now Kagome was lying across the bed diagonally; her hands ties to a single bed post wriggling under Sesshomaru's expert hands. As he moved down her chest and dragged his claws down her ribcage Sesshomaru stopped once more to twirl his tongue inside of her navel. She could do nothing but moan again and bucked her hips up towards him.

"Sess, please. I need you so bad," Kagome begged as she crossed her legs and wiggled in a feeble attempt to alleviate at least a little pressure.

" ," Sesshomaru said smiling as he put his left hand on her hip to keep her still while he used his right to spread her legs. His eyes turned red at the overwhelming smell of her arousal and he automatically licked his lips. She was so ready for him, her juices leaking out and smelling so sweet. As much as he wanted to take her Sesshomaru had to taste just a little bit. As he bent down and nuzzled her clit with his nose Kagome tried once more to rise from the bed moaning and panting heavily. Slowly he traced her neither lips with his tongue purposely missing that one spot he knew she wanted him to lick. After hearing her beg some more Sesshomaru then opened her lips and plunged his tongue inside twisting and sucking hard as Kagome started to scream out in ecstasy. Sesshomaru was already holding on by a thread and at the sound of her scream coupled with her scent he knew he would not last much longer but wanted to bring her to completion at least once before he entered her. Sesshomaru moved up to that bud of nerves, swirled his tongue and sucked gently as he started to growl. The vibrations sent shivers up and down her spine and Kagome came with a loud cry as shutters wracked her starting from the top of her head down to her toes.

"Oh, Kami," Kagome said breathlessly. "That was wonderful."

Smiling Sesshomaru reached up and untied Kagome's hands. "This is just the beginning my love," he said as he thrust deep within her. Kagome reached up and grabbed Sesshomaru's back scratching it with her nails. Sesshomaru let out a pleased growl and started to move even faster. Kagome was matching him at first but then he started moving at such an inhuman speed that all she could do was hold on and enjoy the ride. When Sesshomaru finally came he clamped on to Kagome's mating mark bringing her over the edge with him.

Both too exhausted to move they fell asleep like that. Kagome on her back and Sesshomaru lying on her chest wrapped up in her arms. The covers barely concealing them and legs intertwined.

The next morning was a bustle of excitement as they prepared to receive the ambassador. Breakfast was eaten hastily and formal garb had been necessary as was with the arrival of the other three.

They stood in the hall waiting as Koji went ahead at his normal spot and announced that the southern ambassador had arrived. The doors opened and as he walked forward the ambassador was sure to keep his head down out of respect and once he stopped he bowed deeply from the waist. In a deep voice that made Kagome fidget a little he addressed them. "Greetings Lord and Lady of the Western Land I am the ambassador of the south here to serve you. Kagome could not shake the weird feeling that had taken over her when the ambassador had first spoken. Trying not to seem anxious or obvious Kagome looked hard at the ambassador trying to see his face but it was partially obscured by his rather large eboshi. Finally he stood straight again and removed it looking up to meet their gaze. However, he stopped suddenly before his introduction was complete staring forward with a startled expression. Kagome took a slight surprised intake of breathe as familiar eyes locked on to hers. The owner of those eyes' smile widened in recognition to the point that a well remembered dimple appeared on his cheek.

Forgetting all formalities at the moment Kagome gawked for a moment her mouth parted slightly as she finally found her voice and said, "You? But you're human."

**First I just want to thank everyone for their reviews. It is so wonderful to know you guys like the story as much as I do. I hope this chapter was alright. I promise things will start moving forward now, I am still trying to make sure I get my timelines right. I really suck at history and for the life of me even though I have researched it the info keeps falling out of my head. I'm working on it. Until next time.**


	34. Chapter 34

**Her Heart's Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Chapter 34 A Flirt in the Castle**

**Last time: **Forgetting all formalities at the moment Kagome gawked, her mouth parted slightly as she finally found her voice and said, "You? But you're human."

Still smiling, his light brown eyes twinkling mischievously, he said, "My lady miko what a pleasure to see you again." He then turned to Sesshomaru and spoke. "Lord Sesshomaru it is an honor, my apologies for being rude. I was taken off guard by this vision of loveliness beside you," he stated gesturing at Kagome. "Please forgive me for not addressing you first my Lord. Hinomura, Kyo at your service."

Sesshomaru bristled at this and was about to say something but a hand grabbed his and squeezed. No words were needed, his mate made herself perfectly clear. "Excused…this time," he said coldly. He remembered this one very well and he didn't like him then either.

Kagome just shook her head. Kyo hadn't changed a bit still a big flirt and Sesshomaru, really, getting so upset over something so little. She was his mate after all, you would think he would stop being so territorial. Although as she thought about it Kagome had to remember that a demon he may be but still Sesshomaru was a dog demon. There were some things that were just engrained. She would give him the benefit of the doubt.

"Please come in and welcome to our home," Kagome said smiling. Turning to Sesshomaru she asked, "Um.. I know we have to get started and all but can we have some time to catch up?"

"Of course **mate**," Sesshomaru replied eyeing Kyo as he said the word mate. Smiling Kagome bounced on her heels and gave Sesshomaru a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Come on Kyo," she said leading him to one of her personal gardens. "Wherever you lead I will follow my lady," Kyo said with a bow only this time she knew he was teasing not doing it as a requirement for a person of her station.

Looking over at him she asked only half seriously, "Do you ever stop?"

"Not if I can help it."

As they settled down in the gardens a servant brought them tea, fruits, and nuts to snack on. She was going nuts, drumming her fingers against her thigh waiting for them to be alone. As soon as the servant left she started.

Kagome couldn't hold it in any longer by then, "O.K. spill how are you still here? You are human I would have known if you weren't. And how did you end up working for the south and why as an ambassador? I didn't think the Lord of the South was that forward thinking?"

Kyo put his head back and laughed. It was such a wonderful, rich laugh. "My lady miko you have a million questions and I only one mouth. I will explain everything."

"You do know my name is Kagome right?" she asked.

"Of course I remember but when I met you I met you as "my lady miko" plus it just sounds better. Don't you think?

At her glare he held up his hands in a sign of surrender, "O.k. o.k. don't zap me. There is no real big story about my being here. Just like you're life was extended by the jewel mine was also extended. We all have a purpose Kagome and with the new world that is coming, you have a lot of work to do to make sure that demons do not become just stories in fairytales. With the counsel Sesshomaru is putting together there needs to be at least one human to keep the balance."

"You need a human that has lived with and seen demons good and bad that can offer suggestions from a human perspective." He held up a finger as Kagome opened her mouth to say something. "You are human and a miko but you have will have much more on your plate to deal with. Look at it this way, demons have lived among and with us forever but they are not human.

For example I could look at you eat an orange and tell you how it smells, if it's ripe, and if it's juicy and you could describe the taste. However, if I have never eaten an orange even though I know what it is and how should I still can't fully appreciate it. Thus here I am," Kyo stated his last statement emphasized with his hands held out at his sides.

"How do you know all of this? About me, my lifespan, the counsel, everything?" Kagome asked astonished.

Kyo regarded Kagome for a few minutes without saying anything. His eyes serious for the first time since she had seen him. He spoke one word and then would say no more on it. "Midriko."

Then he changed the subject, his eyes once again playful like nothing had just happened. "So, do you still sing? As I remember you had a beautiful voice."

"That's right my stalker who hides behind trees listening to women singing," Kagome said facetiously.

She regarded him for a moment. He was still as ruggedly handsome though not as much as she had once thought. Of course she had by then become practically a nun and at that point of time in her life everyone probably looked good to her.

That was also of course before Sesshomaru.

Before his hands and lips and… Kagome had to stop herself there. She unconsciously pressed her thighs together as she felt a familiar moistness. Kami! When had she become such a hentai? Miroku would be so proud. Kagome could just picture him looking down on her from the heavens giving her a thumb up with that big old knowing smirk of his. Then Sango coming behind him and smacking him upside the head. Just the thought of her old friends brought a smile to her face.

"What's going on in that pretty little head of yours? I want to smile to," Kyo asked.

"Nothing just thinking about my friends and the good times we had together," Kagome replied. Kagome hadn't realized she had gotten lost in thought, momentarily forgetting Kyo was even there.

"Well, now you have a new friend and one that will be around for quite a while. You know I did eventually come back by to visit you but you had moved by then and I figured I would wait to let you settle in. I also wanted to wait until your mating was over. It's really not a good idea for other males to hang around a female right before she is to be mated, especially when she is to be the mate of the infamous Lord of the West.

I jest and flirt but I really do enjoy having my head attached to my body." Kyo said as he smiled. Kagome smiled back in return. She wanted to know more about what deal he made with Midriko but knew she would get no more answers from him. He might not even know all of the details if Midriko was as cryptic with him as she had been with Kagome.

After a time Kagome felt Sesshomaru's slight spike in aura letting her know it was time to get started. The meetings had to begin.

**All right guys hope you liked it. Let me know what you think. Don't worry I am already working out the next few chapters so there will not be such a long wait this time. Again thank you everyone who has tolerated me for this long and thanks for all the reviews, criticism, and encouragement. It is appreciated. **


	35. Chapter 35

**Her Heart's Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Chapter 35 Progress?**

The meetings were a headache for everybody; even Kyo had lost his sense of humor during them. In all they lasted over a period of six months. The first one lasted one week straight, and then everybody returned to their prospective lands. The next month the second meeting ended up being about the same. Although everyone agreed changes needed to be made they all had different ideas on exactly how to go about it.

By the early 1600's Japan had not only become home to various species of foreign demons but also foreign humans that included Portuguese, Spanish, English, and Dutch. It was becoming increasingly hard to handle the plethora of demons with various appetites much less humans and so Sesshomaru decided something needed to be done.

In 1630 the Tokuguan had most foreigners' expelled from Japan, with the exception of the demons of course. Japan as a whole had closed itself off from the outside world to regroup. It was during this time that Sesshomaru and the other Lords staged infighting between the families. They also staged revolutions in which the "Shogun", which had been set up for the humans benefit, was overthrown.

With Kagome's advanced knowledge of certain events the four Lords were able to stand back and manipulate the humans and the government, that they believed they had made all by themselves, while strategically placing themselves in different positions that would lead to not only more power but a foothold in this new and changing world. Nothing so big the humans would notice though.

A small seamstress shop that in the future would become one of the biggest clothing suppliers in the world. A moderately sized family owed fishing business that would grow into another widely known and respected fishing company. There were small businesses popping up all over that youkai along with a privileged few humans, many descendants of Miroku and Sango, had established. Kagome, feeling complete now, had once again begun to keep tabs on all their descendants to help the extended family of the sister of her heart. Some of them even showed great abilities like Miroku and were offered positions. They still hadn't been able to completely camouflage all of the types of demons and spiritual powers were always useful.

The demons of lesser status that did not have the kind of training basic soldiers got were still at a high enough level to teach humans some things; so they opened various martial art schools.

For those that wanted a break from the ever multiplying humans and now slightly more polluted air, rumors were started of them being recluses or sickly. During this time they would simply retire to one of the safe areas within any of the various countries that were strictly for youkai. With slight changes in appearance along with rumors or events staged none of the humans, with the exception of those privileged few, knew they were the same demons under new names.

Demons were already so far ahead of the humans in many respects. On being women's roles and with Kagome being from a future with independent women there was no way she would tolerate anything less. It was only through Sesshomaru's diligent efforts and constant reminders of what Kagome had so often said that stopped her form rushing certain laws that allowed women their independence. _"You can't change too much of history without ruining or changing what has already been. Some things have to take place in their own time. Imagine if Hitler was assassinated as a child but because he wasn't there someone even more monstrous appeared and killed twice as many people."_ With the future you could never tell what to change and not to change. So it was decided that the human wars would be left to them and that during these times youkai would withdraw to a place that was not at the time undergoing such things.

WWI was now close and some things were still getting set up. Even with Kagome's help and future knowledge there were just things that didn't come up so they weren't anticipated. Some things they didn't even realized would be needed until they had to deal with it so the process was staggered. Sometimes everything was moving right along at other times it felt like things would never get done.

It was during was this time that different species of demons decided to go to the different continents into the hidden places were humans were yet to thrive. Some decided to go to some of the lesser known parts of Africa until everything settled down. Kagome wondered idly if this is why there were many people that were so light skinned and how despite the climate they thrived in such heat.

The leopard demons in particular went to Africa and southern Asia while many of the reptile type demons headed for Australia. It was perfect for there were so many unexplored caverns and forest. It was also ideal for many because of the various climate changes that ranged from desert to tropical rain forest.

In August of 1914 when war broke out in Europe the United States was not involved and seemed a good place to go, however Kagome assured them that by 1917 the United States would be in the war as well. It was also at this same time that Japan had declared war on Germany. Again youkai stayed hidden during most of this time only resurfacing once the world war ended.

With all the wars this also brought about other problems. It seemed that even though youkai had been kept safe and was able to keep most of their businesses and lands there was the problem of space. The issue was that there just were not enough places for so many youkai to retreat to at once; at least without being in a dangerously close proximity to one another. That was when another meeting was called between the four high Lords.

It took one month to decide where and when and then another year to get everything arranged but a decision had finally been made.

In 1923 Sesshomaru along with the other Lords, Kagome, the fox sorceress and a few priestesses brought about an island that was raised from the ocean floor. Once raised it was merged with four other islands that had been chosen and moved together. Once shaped and molded the now singular and enormous island was cloaked and protected. Not only would it be invisible to any mortal but no nigen without specific help of one of the four Lords or their ambassadors would be able to step foot on it. This was to be the ultimate place of safety and solace from the human world for any demon within the pact that needed to retreat for a while.

The only problem was during the last of the merging of the various islands. Despite all their careful preparation there was a big disturbance in the land. So now Kagome knew what had caused the earthquake of 1923 that struck the Tokyo-Yokomana area. For Kagome it was also another lesson in changing the future. Instead of the 143,000 deaths that had been reported in her history book there were a little less than 30,000 and the reconstruction did not take half as long. So yes some things could be changed but if it was meant to happen it would happen. Kagome was just glad that she could save so many lives.

Once the houses had been built and property lines settled each Lord was to provide something for the whole island. The Lord of the South supplied cattle along with a ranch to raise beasts of burden along with different animals for meat. Sesshomaru supplied the hydraulic plant for the working electricity for lights and heated water. The Lord of the East supplied clothing, linens, or anything to do with cloth and silks. Their land was known for its fashion or what Kagome started to think of as demonware. The north supplied metals and wood. They were best known for their construction and ingenuity with building anything from furniture to castles.

It had been decided that from 1939-1955 all youkai would either retreat to the island or other lesser known places that were lacking in human influence. That way by the time youkai would reemerge the Second World War would be ended and they would miss the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Some of the demons did not like the idea and rallied to stop it and protect Japan but were over ruled and any found trying to aid either side in the war were swiftly terminated.

Overall the island was wonderful and peaceful. It was truly like an island paradise and it was here on this island, named simply the island of refuge that nothing short of a miracle occurred.

**Hey guys I hope you like it. This was more to give you a time frame and show the progress over the years. **


	36. Chapter 36

**Her Heart's Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Chapter 36 Love Is In The Air**

It was during their latest retreat to the island that Kagome finally felt like she could stop and breathe for a moment. Sesshomaru's part had been set up almost exactly as his home had been just on a smaller scale. Kagome sat on her balcony sipping tea and looking out over the sea. She kept thinking about Shippo. She missed him so much. As an ambassador for the West he was constantly running around to different places setting up meetings and signing treaties. If it wasn't that it was some problem between the demons so he was constantly running to put out one proverbial "fire" or another. There was still much to do. Kagome didn't realize the enormity of what they were doing until just recently. She had never dreamed there were so many demons though why it hadn't accrued to her she didn't know. Why would there be any less than the human population. Still she wanted Shippo here.

It had been a month since she had seen him. Kagome thought about the last time she had spoken with him. He had come to her a week before he left for his latest assignment. When Shippo had come to spend time with her Kagome figured something was up because Sesshomaru was nowhere in sight. He had become an integral part of their time together. Inuyasha would always be his father but he did look to Sesshomaru as his stepdad. Each had their place.

When that happened it was usually because Shippo needed to speak with her in private. They sat and talked about everything and nothing, just enjoying each other's company. It would have all seemed perfectly normal except that Shippo couldn't stop fidgeting. His tail was waving around restlessly reminding Kagome of how cats do when agitated. If that wasn't enough the waves of nervousness that he had tried to suppress were a definite tip off. His emotional shields were good enough to fool someone else but not her. Finally Kagome figured she needed to just ask.

"Shippo," Kagome said softly as she put her hand on top of his and gave it a gentle squeeze. "What is it? You know you can tell me anything."

Red faced Shippo looked around the room at anything but Kagome and let out a nervous cough.

"Well you see," Shippo said as he rubbed the back of his head in a very Miroku-like manner.

"I already talked with Sesshomaru but Fox Demon Law demand that the final word comes from the mother."

Kagome nodded her head slowing encouraging him to continue. Suddenly she started feeling nervous wondering what was so important.

Shippo looked up at Kagome and froze as he noticed the change in her aura, his beautiful green eyes serious and uncertain. Seeing such indecision in her son and how obviously worried he was caught Kagome off guard. She had been trying to let him tell her at his own pace and be patient but Shippo's whole manner really had her worried.

"Shippo what is it? Is it another mission? Is it dangerous? Just tell me," she blurted out.

"No mom its nothing like that. I just…I want to start…."Shippo hesitated again as he cleared his throat again.

"I want to mate Nyla and I would like your permission to ask her to start a courtship," he finally said looking down at his feet. When he received no response he quickly looked up at his mother.

Kagome finally released the breathe she hadn't realized she had been holding. Nyla's face came to mind. The raven haired fox demon was very nice and although they didn't see each other much Kagome did enjoy the girls company. When she did see the girl Kagome made a point of speaking with her and had also made quite a few inquiries about her. Shippo was her son after all.

She thought it was a smart match. They obviously felt an attraction toward each other which was pretty clear to anyone who looked, though they probably thought they had been discreet. Kagome shook her head. _Ah to be young again_, she thought.

They also had many things in common and Kagome had many reports of how they interacted and talked for hours. _She was sooo not spying on her son._ As she thought about it Kagome had continued to shake her head a small smile playing on face. Her not so little boy was growing up before her eyes.

"Mom, I know you haven't spent much time around her but we are good for each other. Please?" Shippo begged.

Kagome focused on her son. His eyes were moist with unshed tears. He had obviously misread Kagome's reaction, thinking her shaking her head was a no. She had been getting lost in thought too much of late. Putting that in the back of her mind to sort out later Kagome smiled and took her sons hands in her own.

"Of course I give you my permission. Nyla is a wonderful girl and I trust you to make the right decision."

Shippo's whole body visibly relaxed. "I thought you…. And when you didn't say anything…well" he let the words hand in the air.

Kagome's own eyes were getting moist at this point as she pulled Shippo into a bear hug.

"No sweetheart I was just thinking of how much you've grown. Your dad would be so proud."

They stayed like that for a while and then Shippo took his leave. Sesshomaru entered shortly after. She looked at him through bleary eyes, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Your kit wanted to tell you himself. He is a grown man and I respected his choice. They are a good match. I approve," Sesshomaru said as he joined Kagome pulling her into his arms.

"Plus it is time for you to become a grandmother," Sesshomaru said as he kissed the top of her head.

The words were bittersweet for Kagome. _A grandmother but not a mother_ She forced the thought away and thought of Shippo. She was a mother, a very proud one at that.

"Come Koi, it is time we retire," Sesshomaru said as he pulled Kagome up with him.

Putting on her best "nothing's wrong" smile Kagome followed the whole time pushing down the evil thoughts that fought to rise to the surface.

**I hope you like it guys. Let me know what you think.**


	37. Visiting the South

**Her Heart's Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Chapter 37 Visiting the South**

That week was pretty regular. Shippo was floating on cloud nine the last she had seen him. Nyla had consented to starting the courtship. Kagome of course wasn't surprised. Nyla was fiercely independent if Shippo hadn't asked her soon Kagome was sure the girl would have brought it up herself.

Kagome was walking through the market place. She had sent three messengers, one to each section to get permission to visit each of the other three Lords lands on the island. Right now she was in the south. She picked that one first to make sure to visit the Southern Lady and see how her new cub was doing.

Lady Amara was a tiger demoness. She had the most exotic eyes and bronze complexion. The cub was so cute but though Lady Amara was nice and all she wouldn't let Kagome get but so close.

Kagome didn't know what to think about that and decided to ask about it later. That was when she ran into Hinomura, Kyo and he offered to give her tour of the southern area. Once they left and were a good distance away Kagome asked about the cub and Kyo explained that no one but the Lord, the Lady, and the nursemaid were allowed to hold the cub until it was much older. Kyo explained about how territorial tiger demons were and how protective they were of their young. That was good to know because Kagome had kind of taken it personally.

As he was showing her around and keeping her entertained Kagome asked about how he was doing and if he had found that special someone yet. He laughed and said he hadn't but if the rumors she had been hearing were correct it wouldn't be long. He had nigen and demons alike vying for his attention as she heard it. He of course, was taking full advantage of it getting meals and gifts.

Next Kagome would be going to visit the East. She would save North for last since she heard that the Northern Lord and Lady were much like their ambassador. Kagome still didn't trust Okamoto, Teruna though the woman had given her no cause. It was just a gut feeling but Kagome had learned long ago to trust those.

She also wanted to go East first because she looked forward to seeing Ambsador Wada Hiraku. He turned out to be quite funny like an old grandpa with many stories. Actually he reminded Kagome a lot of gramps just without all the yelling of "Demon Begone" and the ofudas all over the place. Kagome also had some sketches for the commissioning of some new night wear. First she would have to return to the West.

As Lady of the West there were many things that demanded her attention. Kagome actually thought about Jaken for the first time in years. No wonder the faithful retainer was always trying to get Sesshomaru to return to the castle. Kagome couldn't be gone for more than a week without coming back to piles of requests or maintenance and food troubles with the staff. There were also droves of people both nigen and demon alike requesting an audience with her. How Sesshomaru stayed away so long traveling before when she had first met him Kagome would never know.

Sesshomaru had already informed Kagome that he would be away for a few days to handle some business so Kagome returned home dreading the amount of paperwork that awaited her. After three hours and only one half of the way done Kagome decided to take a break. Kagome walked to her rooms and sent for Leila. It would be nice to sit down and take a break from everything. Also her feet were killing her. It was nice sightseeing and of course Kyo's company had been fun but it had been a very long day. Hinomura, Kyo had asked if she would prefer to ride or fly but noooo she had to walk. The island didn't really seem that big and that was just one part. At least that's what she had thought until she started walking.

Leila came in as Kagome was getting out of her bath. It was so good to see her. Kagome gave her the gift she had purchased for her, jewel encrusted hair clips, and the two fell into easy conversation as Leila helped Kagome put her things away.

Everything was fine but Kagome got the feeling that there was something wrong. It was nothing that she could pin down but Leila just seemed like she was in a rush. She didn't move any faster and was as attentive as ever but something was off. Kagome dismissed it as her own paranoia; she had been a little off lately.

She decided to go to bed and attempt to sleep. Kagome was tired but kept tossing and turning. It just didn't feel right without Sesshomaru there. The bed felt empty and cold. She missed his warmth and his arms around her. After an hour of much of the same Kagome finally asked for a cup of sake.

It came within minutes. Even when Sesshomaru was not there the staff still moved as if they took too longs their heads would be rolling across the floor.

As she took a sip Kagome thought over all the new things she had learned and all the beautiful sights. The sake ran down warming her throat and spreading out to her chest relaxing her as it went down. Before she knew it the cup was empty and Kagome felt like she could finally sleep. Her last thoughts were of Leila and how weird she had been. Little did she know that the answer would come to her a few days later.

**Here it is guys I hope you like it.**


	38. Chapter 38 I Know A Secret

**Her Heart's Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Chapter 38 I Know a Secret**

One more day to go. Shesshomaru would finally be coming home. So as not to turn into an alcoholic during his absence Kagome had the healers brew her up a sleeping draught so she could get some rest.

She was anxious, sure he hadn't been gone that long but it had been long enough for Kagome. Kagome still hadn't figured out what was going on with her lately. She had been getting lost in thoughts more and more often, anxious and a little paranoid. Finally, she decided that she needed to get back on track and one of the things that she had not been doing lately were her meditations and training.

The previous day she had called on Hiroku to resume her training. It had been so long with everything else going on that Kagome couldn't remember the last time they had sparred.

She put on a simple gi and headed to the sparring grounds. Hiroku was there waiting and smiled when he saw her. His mahogany hair was pulled back and platted. "It has been far too long Kagome-sama" he said as he bowed.

"Kagome please, at least when no one is around," Kagome begged.

"Only when no one is around," he agreed.

Kagome started to warm up doing her katas, when she was done she nodded that she was ready to begin. "I hope you don't think I will go easy on you because you have not been practicing." Hiroku said.

"I would expect nothing but your best," Kagome replied.

Today he choose long staffs for them to work with. They were similar to Miroku's without the holy signs and the bells. Kagome put everything else out of her mind and concentrated. She used her reiki to add speed to her feet and heighten her senses. Hiroku had not been joking when he said he would give her no slack. They circled each other constantly striking blow after blow but neither could get the upper hand. That was when Hiroku started to goad her. He did this sometimes trying to make her lose focus or strike out of anger leaving her wide open to attacks.

"I thought nigens were better than this. A few missed sessions and you a battling like a pup," he said tauntingly.

Unfortunately Kagome took the bait and was rewarded with a shot to her side that almost brought tears to her eyes. _Concentrate Kagome_ she thought. _Don't let him get the better of you. Think there must be something you can do to get him._

Kagome took a deep breath and focused and that's when she noticed something. Taking an even deeper breath her eyes lit up. _Gotcha_ she thought.

She stayed on the defense trading blow for blow letting Hiroku think he was wearing her down. Then just when he went in for a finishing move and swung at her in an overhead blow that would have knocked her out Kagome said in a very nonchalant voice.

"So, how long have you and Leila been together?"

Hiroku only hesitated a moment but that was all Kagome needed to drop down and sweep his leg from under him. She then pointed one end of the staff at his throat until he yielded. Kagome held out her hand but the demon just shook his head and stood on his own. "How long have you known about us."

"I just figured it out now," Kagome confessed. "It was your scent. I always smelled Leila around you but I figured it was me I smelled. She cleans my clothes, helps me bathe and dress. Of course I would smell a hint of her on myself. Today though when I used my reiki to heighten my senses I realized the smell was not coming from me but from you and being that strong you two would have to be pretty close."

Hiroku just considered Kagome a few minutes before answering his eyes narrowed. "Kagome-sama," but at the look on her face he rephrase it, "Kagome, have you been working on your spiritual powers?" he asked.

"No why," she asked curiously.

"I had masked my scent you should not have been able to pick that up. Interesting." He said and let the subject drop. He looked as though he thought that something was going on. Kagome couldn't figure out what big deal it would be if she was getting stronger. That was a good thing.

Looking slightly distracted Hiroku stated, "Kagome if you don't mind can we continue this tomorrow?"

"Of course," Kagome said but when he turned to leave she stopped him.

Before he could open his mouth to speak Kagome asked, "What are your intentions?"

Again Hiroku looked at Kagome for a minute before he spoke. It was as though he was trying to make sure he said the right words.

"Please understand that I say this most respectfully," he began, "Kagome you are my Lord's mate and Lady of the West. If you order me to I will tell you but I do not see how my intentions are any of your concern." Hiroku winced as he said the last part as though he expected her to purify him at any moment. What he didn't expect was that not only was she not mad but smiled brilliantly up at him.

"Yes I am now Lady of the West but I am still me. Kagome. I am not going to turn into the queen of hearts and say "Off with his head."

At his puzzled look she just shook her head. "Just some book I read before. Anyway as I was about to say I am not asking as Sesshomaru's mate nor Lady of the West. I ask as Leila's friend only. I would not see her hurt."

This seemed to be what he was looking for and he nodded, "No need to worry about that my lady. I love her more than words can say and I intend for her to be my mate before the next full moon." he responded honestly.

"Good," Kagome replied, "Leila was one of my first friends when I started to come here again. I don't know how I would have made it without her. She deserves happiness." That said Kagome walked away but then stopped again.

"Hiroku," she said over her shoulder, "please don't tell Leila I know. I would like to be the one to tell her and don't worry I won't say anything of your plans."

She continued to walk away not waiting for Hiroku to acknowledge her request. She had to get back, freshen up and change. Since they stopped a bit early she had time for a nice long bath before she started to deal with the other duties her title had given her.

That night a few high pitched yells were heard followed shortly by peals of laughter and lots of giggling.

Later on Hiroku opened his door and started laughing. Leila was there, hair standing on end like she had been struck by lightning and smelling suspiciously of holy powers. "I take it Kagome caught up with you," he said smiling.

"You could have warned me you know," she replied pouting as she stepped in.

**All right guys hope you liked it. Let me know what you think.**


	39. Chapter 39

**Her Heart's Winter Thaw**

**By Dragonessclaw**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this story. The characters are the work of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi, only the story is mine.**

**Chapter 39 Home At Last**

Sesshomaru would finally be getting home soon and Kagome could not wait. The last couple of days had been almost impossible. She was more anxious than ever, she slept but it was often broken and when she woke Kagome always felt like she hadn't slept at all. Her training was the only thing that was not off. In fact she was doing better than ever, though Hiroku seemed concerned.

Leila was nowhere to be seen. _I wonder why_? Kagome thought with a grin, which was fine by her. She didn't need to hear Leila complaining about her not finishing her meals or asking probing questions. She just didn't feel like eating much less answering the multiple questions that Leila always seemed to ask lately. Plus, Kagome hadn't been very good company these past few days.

Kagome just

couldn't figure out what was going on with her. She told herself it was just all the added stress and everything would be better once Sesshomaru was back. It could even be that it was almost time to see her mother again. Kagome glanced in the corner to a beautiful embroidered chest. Inside were literally hundreds of scrolls and books that she had been keeping for her mother, Souta, and gramps. Some were letters while others were just thoughts or funny things she thought they would appreciate. It was Kagome's way of feeling like she was still there with them at least a little. They would probably never finish reading them all but it didn't matter to Kagome. Sometimes she just needed to talk to them and if that was the only way then it was what she would do.

She felt him way before he first touched down and instantly her heart began to race. She could not wait to see him though she knew he would only be able to greet her briefly before going into meetings. Then they would meet and she would have to go over with him anything she felt he needed to be made aware of and discuss any and all business matters before he would be able to step of his "business mode" and just be Sesshomaru again. Kagome checked her reflection in the mirror and then headed out to meet him. She knew where he would be, it was the first place he always went when he returned.

**With Sesshomaru**

Sesshomaru was exhausted. He hated the monotony of the meetings although they were necessary. Some of the problems could have and should have been handled by one of the lower officials instead of him. He was also grouchy after being away from Kagome for so long.

When he got close to the island he could feel her aura brush against his and for an instant warmth and relief flooded through him until he felt something strange. Something felt off though he could not tell through their link what that might be.

As he landed his generals were lined up and all greeted him. Sesshomaru gave a nod as both a greeting and an order to follow and give reports. He never broke stride as he continued down the entranceway toward his office. It was right inside his doorway to the left that he saw Kagome waiting for him.

Sesshomaru immediately stopped and held a hand up. "Generals a moment," He said as he continued on alone shutting the door behind him.

"Kagome," he said as he opened his arms to her. "I have missed you."

Walking into his open arms Kagome smiled and buried her head in his chest. "I missed you too. How was your trip?"

Looking down on her Sesshomaru tried to read her face but for some reason Kagome's expression was quite elusive to him. It was the same but there was something there that he could not figure out.

He used the back of his hand to brush his knuckles across her cheek lovingly and replied, "Infuriating. Are you well?"

"Of course," Kagome said smiling, "just missed you is all."

"We will have plenty of time to rectify that my mate," he said with a knowing smirk as he bent down and captured her lips in a searing kiss. "But for now I must meet with my generals."

"I know the drill, don't worry. I'll be back," Kagome added as she turned to open the door for the generals.

"My lady," they replied bowing and then filed into the room. Kagome nodded and left closing the door behind her but not before flashing a smile at Hiroku.

Once the generals had given their respective reports and their business was concluded Sesshomaru dismissed them. As the others left Hiroku lingered a moment. Without looking up from his paperwork Sesshomaru asked, "Is there something wrong Hiroku?"

"Nothing wrong my Lord but there is something that bears mentioning," Hiroku said cautiously not knowing how his Lord would take his news. He was always a fair and decisive leader but this was about his mate and Lords always got unpredictable when it came to their mates especially in the first few centuries.

Sesshomaru noticed his hesitation and also felt the slight uneasiness in his aura. He could not fathom what could have his general this way but would of course hear him out. Hiroku was his main general and Sesshomaru's trust and respect for the demon was considerable. There were very few that could say that; for with Sesshomaru it wasn't something given lightly and in most cases never. So, if there was something that he thought needed to be mentioned then of course Sesshomaru would hear him out.

"Speak."

"Lord Sesshomaru it involves the Lady Kagome," Hiroku said.

At the mention of her name Sesshomaru immediately locked eyes with Hiroku and spoke again in a tone that was slightly harsh.

"Speak," he commanded again and gestured for Hiroku to take a seat.

Hiroku swore he could feel the temperature of the room dropping a few degrees. It was nonsense of course but he could swear it was radiating from the hard, cold eyes that were now regarding him. He suddenly wished that Sesshomaru would look back down at his paperwork or just anywhere but at him.

"It is nothing really my Lord. I just noticed some odd things. Lady Kagome has resumed her training and her speed and agility have increased."

At the slight raise of a perfect eyebrow Hiroku continued. "It is to be expected my Lord with her being your mate and the Shikon Miko her powers are bound to grow. But the rate in which hers has is outstanding. I asked if she had been training her spiritual powers of late and she said no."

"Hiroku, Kagome is stronger and this is a problem how?"

"It's not just her strength, she smelled Leila on me. Even with enhanced senses she should not have been able to pick that up through the barrier I put up to mask the scent. She also has been acting strangely. Nothing big just small things like she seems to just stop sometimes to gather her thoughts more than usual. While you have been gone my Lord she also could not sleep. That has not happened in a long time and her eating has slowed down. I inquired if she was feeling ill but she just replied that she was not very hungry."

Sesshomaru did not say anything for a full minute before he asked, "How long have you been following MY MATE around to find out all of this information."

Wincing at the tone Hiroku answered, "I have not been following my Lady around that much," he answered honestly, "just the last few days and most of the time it is Leila. She was the one who noticed the food and the sleep my Lord."

Giving a nod Sesshomaru dismissed Hiroku, "Thank you for bringing this to my attention I will speak with Kagome but still keep tabs and tell Leila as well."

Hiroku left Sesshomaru thinking about the weird feeling he got when he first arrived. It was something about her aura; an emotion or something she was hiding. Sesshomaru didn't know but he would find out.

**With Kagome**

Kagome was in the sitting room wondering just how much information his generals had to tell him. At this rate she would never get to see Sesshomaru. Just as that thought crossed her imind Kagome felt his aura at once and raised hers in response. Within a few moments Sesshomaru was there and Kagome rushed into his arms hugging him tightly. She felt as if she hadn't seen him in months. She pulled back to look into those amber eyes she knew so well only long enough to lean up to kiss him before she was once again burying herself against his chest. She inhaled deeply and sighed as his scent enveloped her. It was like she had to see, feel, and smell him to make sure he was really there.

Sesshomaru getting all sorts of confusing emotions from Kagome pulled away from him and looked her over. "Kagome what's wrong? Has something happened?" Sesshomaru asked.

Kagome just shook her head, "It's nothing koi I just missed you."

"Kagome I can feel that something is wrong, tell me," Sesshomaru insisted as his eyes narrowed.

Locking eyes with him Kagome simply shrugged. "I don't know. Nothing. Everything. I just haven't quite felt myself lately," she replied.

Pulling her into the sitting room Sesshomaru sent for some tea and sat down. He pulled Kagome onto his lap to face him so that she was straddling his hips. He rested one clawed hand on her thigh while the other traced soothing circles on her back. He could hear his sire's voice in the back of his head. _Do you have something to protect?_

"Tell me all that has happened in my absence," he commanded. It was not in a harsh tone but neither was it a tone he would usually use when it was just the two of them. It was clearly a command from her alpha though Sesshomaru made sure she could sense the underlying concern for her.

Nodding Kagome began to explain everything from her travel to the South to the weird emotions and unexplainable symptoms she had been experiencing. She told him about her resuming her training with Hiroku and about her discovery of his relationship with Leila. She concluded by telling him about the her spike in powers that Hiroku had asked about and how he had seemed concerned but would say nothing more on it.

Sesshomaru listened carefully and as he did he paid particular attention to her emotions and her eyes when she spoke. Certain times she would break eye contact and when she said others she would not. The information about Hiroku and Leila was not a surprise. It was just none of his business to disclose that to Kagome. Sesshomaru felt that when Leila was ready she would share it with her friend.

Though as she told him of how she got Leila back Sesshomaru decided he would not share that particular information with her unless she specifically asked. Not that she could really hurt him but those zaps were irritating as hell. He could of course stop her but then the backlash of denying her would really hurt him. She could be quite creative in finding ways to torture him without even lifting a finger when she had a mind to.

As far as her spiritual powers that wasn't necessarily an issue since they would grow naturally but he would be sure to speak with Hiroku again and see what if anything he had to add. Getting lost in thought was really no worry it was only natural to ponder over the many changes and such. Sesshomaru felt that even though Kagome knew what to expect that actually living through it was another thing entirely. That plus the added responsibilities and the meetings with the counsel was enough on its own. He still wouldn't take any chances though.

They talked for a while longer before Sesshomaru left to receive reports from his officers but not before asking Kagome to see the healer just in case. Sesshomaru was surprised Kagome didn't argue as much as he had thought she would. If that wasn't a definite sign something was wrong then nothing else was.

**O.k. guys that is it for now. I am sooo sorry it took this long to get another chapter out I couldn't figure out how to get out what I wanted and kept rewriting this chapter. You all will be happy to know that the story is winding down now and will hopefully be finishing up in the next couple of months. Thank you everyone for still hanging in there with me. Please review and let me know what you think. Your comments, suggestions, and questions help me to keep writing. Till next time.**


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